Do you go into bars on your own?

Dear Gt. Nan,
I'm truly sorry for your terrible situation. I know of a young girl who has recently started on that slippery path.
Her boyfriend has tried to help her, but she will not listen. He has now given up in despair!

I enjoy reading your posts, and although we are poles apart on certain subjects, I have great admiration for you!

(Don't worry. I'm happily married!)

Gramps.

You make some interesting points, Gramps. My loss is not through death (yet) but drug abuse.
As all our bodies are composed of elements that have, presumably, been on earth since the big bang, apart from those that have arrived via meteors, etc. it makes sense to believe that whether our bodies are cremated or buried, those elements will return to the 'pool' . However, I think that once electrical activity in the brain stops, you become just those physical elements. I know it is hard to accept that all our memories, thoughts, and emotions end with death, but I believe that is reality.
Thank you for your good wishes.

Dear Gt.Nan,
I am sincerely sorry for your great sorrow, and without prying,assume it a
loss of a dear one.
I know your thoughts on "Religion",and no way would I try to dissuade you from your belief (or unbelief).

May I tell you of my own belief?

That life is continuous. Death is only the Life force leaving it's earthly vehicle to go to it's next phase in it's ultimate objective!
In the meantime, the bonds of love are still strong and the loved one is still close and can sometimes be as close as to feeling their presence!

I hope that this may be able to help you in your sadness, or that another person may find it helpful to them in their search for knowledge. !

In nature, plants go through a "life- death" cycle for regeneration. And when it rains, what of the raindrop? It splashes into a puddle and immediately arises before joining the larger mass of water. Maybe not such a good analogy, but I hope you see my point?

W are not just individuals,but part of the Universe, and like my illustrations, are probably "re-cycled"!

All best wishes,

Gramps.

I am sorry if I misconstrued your advice to make the most of what we have - I am doing just that, in spite of a great sorrow in my life which cannot be healed.

Dear Gt. Nan,
you have" misconstructed " me again.

I don't go chasing after men, so I don't see why you think you should!

I mean, Enjoy yourself (without men) , it's later than you think!!

Seriously though - Too many folk only see the gloomy side of life, and there is so much more to enjoy. I danced, skated, enjoyed walking and swimming. Now unfortunately can't even do much in the garden, but still enjoy what is available to me! (no, not women!)
I still sing in a Choir and go to pottery classes, write poetry and Children's storie s- and interrupt Ladies Magazine readers!

I REALLY enjoy your collective company.

Long may you Ladies be "Netable!"

All best wishes,

Gramps. xx

I am not sure Lil's bar is safe for a lone woman, if you want to have any reputation left when you come out, if you come out that is!
I have "heard things" about Lil's bar!

Oh heavens, just looked back at the post I made on this thread, little did I know then that I was about to be made redundant! I feel that my days of business travel are over.

I used to be so confident, travelling alone all over the UK, meeting with clients, dining and drinking alone (Although I suppose the drinking alone bit may sound a bit dodgy, but it was more having a drink in the bar whilst perusing the menu). Those days are gone.

gramps I doubt if they will mind your intrusion its only six months late!

xxx

Gramps - you are very welcome to join in our conversation- this is not a private club! However, I think you are off the mark with your 'make the most of what you have' comment, if by that you mean we should be trying to attract men. That is the very last thing I want, and I am sure I am not alone.

You "young" older Ladies seem to know how to be safe AND have fun when
roequired!

I say",Make the most of what you have while you still have it"!

Please excuse my intrusion into your conversation!

Thank you.

My travels these days are always purely for pleasure . I often have a little book of Sudoku with me, or a book to read. I am always struck by the number of couples sitting together and not exchanging a word.
When I travel in other countries, in the Far East, the Caribbean, or Egypt, I do get asked by waiters, taxi-drivers, etc. 'Where is your man?' I manage to reply politely.
I think it is true that you can give out 'Touch me not' signals. I turned off my signals many years ago and my white hair and lack of make-up reinforce my lack of interest.
I used to go on Solo's (their apostrophe, not mine!) weekends and holidays and it was amusing to see people desperately scanning the opposite sex and the opposition. I did meet men on several of these holidays and one or two developed into long term relationships. I always suspected that some men were married if they did not want to give a home phone number or address. I wonder where their wives thought they were - fishing or golfing weekend, perhaps. This was in the era before mobile phones- it must be much easier for them now.

If you are dining alone on a weeknight most people would assume you were away from home on business.
Possibly most weird experience was in a hotel that was previously a workhouse in , I think, Wakefield or possibly Barnsley. I was working on the Saturday and while the restaurant was busy on Friday night (lots of mature people eating huge 4 course meals - soup, starter etc etc) the staff informed me i was the only person in for breakfast. Cogs whirr. I am the only person in the hotel that night. Presumably (maybe) someone in staff accom, somewhere near by...?
I felt a tad nervous and given that the door did not lock, put wardrobe in front of it.
There was also a Sunday night in a conference centre in Leicester, previously a convent. Woke briefly to very strange sound of leaded window panes being shaken by earthquake. Oh the joys of business travel.

Like Phoenix I used to take a book down to dinner and indulge in people watching. I am grateful, though, that I no longer have to experience those horrible Sunday evenings alone in a hotel when you had just left home and had a hard week's work ahead. Always fine once you got to Monday and got stuck in!

When I lived in America for a short time I used to watch people dining alone and wonder how they had the gumption to dine alone. I asked my friend how he felt about dining alone before he met me and he said "Well it's like this, if I had to wait to find a partner before I went out to dine, I'd be a hermit by now" When I returned to the UK permanently I too began to go out and dine on my own. I now find that there are quite a few people who are in the same boat and you usually get the odd wink if it's a man. Nowadays I tend to do what I want when I want it because life is too short to wait around for someone to accompany me. With this wonderful age, I find that I no longer care what other people think of me or what I do. It's very liberating, and fun!!

Just for the record nothing of note in Wetherspoons last night - or any night I should think.

jeni I think you will find that it was much more than twenty years ago that Pythagoras advised against beans! (only joking!)

Gransnet - how I love it when up pops a brief historical note whilst grannies are chatting about bars! Grannies are great!!

Beans were used for casting votes, so Pythagoras was telling people to avoid politics.

Beans????

Can't remember who he was. I have NO interest in politics whatsoever. In fact I agree with Pythagoras 'abstain from beans' it was over twenty years ago!

When Mr glamma and I lived abroad I often went on walk about when he was at work loved people watching and improving my language skills with the locals became good friends with a lot of locals but never chatted up,I enjoyed the people watching and would spend hrs listening to the tourists complaining about the heat and the sun whilst I sat under a nice umbrella enjoying a coffee and they baked in the mid-day sun.

Were his diaries published?

I wonder if it was the same MP that I knew quite well - he was a well-known womaniser. (He died some years ago).

I was the same as you two. Only got propositioned once. By an MP when I was staying at the London st ermins!

I travel on a fairly regular basis for my job, and if alone always book myself into hotels with restaurants so that I am able to eat without wandering around in a strange town. I have no problem with dining alone, but will often take a book or my newspaper. Still manage to do a lot of people watching though!