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Do you have purpose in your life?

(110 Posts)
distaffgran Fri 15-Jun-12 10:50:13

If so, what gives you purpose?

silverdancer Tue 19-Jun-12 21:30:55

I too have been wondering what is the purpose, having retired from a stressful job and become a grandmother I seem to have lost my identity. I now realise that my life was my work and there is a large voide to fill, I don't have many friends locally and am not sure how to go about making more. I love my granddaughter but don't want to be just a babysitter/entertainer. If anyone has any tips I would love to hear from you

Annobel Tue 19-Jun-12 22:02:55

silver, that's very sad and I know how you feel. Before I retired I had plenty of irons in the fire and suddenly I was on my own. It was only today, at a big meeting of U3A that I realised how much it had done for me in the past year. And as a member of NWR I have also made friends. All this has taken time, but for the first time in ages I did feel part of something. I know it's a bit of a cliché, but part of the answer to your void is to join in - whatever grabs you. Like many other GNetters, I do recommend U3A which has so many interest groups that you are more than likely to find like-minded people as well as something to interest you. If you look for U3A on the internet, you will be able to find one near you. Good luck with re-establishing your identity.

www.U3A.org.uk

crimson Tue 19-Jun-12 22:21:01

The estrangement from my daughter and grandchildren [still can't believe I'm writing this as it still seems unreal] means that I'm in a sort of no mans land identity wise, so can only empathise with silver. I always felt rather a failure in life until I had my first child and then, suddenly realised that I was good at being a mother and then a grandmother. Or so I thought. I did rather 'find' myself after my marriage broke up; the children had gone of to uni and I rebuilt my life, had a social life of my own for the first time and then a new relationship. Now there is no social life and no family. I do want to join my local U3A as I think it's the way forward. The trouble is that, as one gets older it gets harder to regroup and rebuild. Time to write a 'list' I think! At least I can tick off 'get central heating working again' smile....

j04 Tue 19-Jun-12 22:32:15

Glad your boiler is sorted anyway crimson. smile

crimson Tue 19-Jun-12 22:39:44

I've been so lucky with the company I chose to do the job; they were absolutely brilliant. Thought my house was going to be ripped apart [I think it would have been if I'd had a combi boiler installed] but they put in a heat only boiler and used the existing chimney; new immersion heater [the old one was probably ok still but thought I might as well be on the safe side] and new water tank in the loft [the original one was likely to go at any time]. So whatever life throws at me I've got heat, hot water and I'm not likely to leak everywhere! If only I could work out how to use the new controls I'd be well away grin!

j04 Tue 19-Jun-12 22:41:38

It's a relief isn't it! smile

I know what you mean about the controls though. hmm

crimson Tue 19-Jun-12 22:46:11

At least the timer for the immersion is still the old one which only works if I stick a bit of scrunched up paper in the dial. I can do that! [the scrunched up paper was my own invention wink]...I'm very proud of it.

nelliedeane Wed 20-Jun-12 07:44:05

crimson can it be marketed....necessity is the mother of invention...then dragons den......know what you mean about re-establishing your identity...we are defined by what we do for either work or others in their life .....but on here you are CRIMSON the one and only unique lovely person,who just happens to be a mum....you go girl when you decide what to do we will support you all the way and hold your hand.....xxxxxxx

crimson Wed 20-Jun-12 09:30:42

Thank you, nellie smile.