Some days it's just so hard to stay strong...

janthea A hug from Kintyre.

I often don't post (or delete what I've only just written as it sounds superfluous) as all "you lot" seem to put it so much better than I ever could. But my heart goes out to all of you suffering with family and personal troubles.
I just love the way that we're all there for each other at any time of the day or night.
[hugs] and to you all

Oh janthea I am so sorry to hear about your situation with your sister. I have had many disagreements with my sister over the years I can tell you, but fortunately one of us always ends up backing down (usually me) and we are back where we left off. Nothing is worth falling out with your sister over (well I could think of a couple of things but lets not go there ) and more often than not as time goes your realise how trivial it all was anyway.

Is there no way (even after 2 years) you could ring her or write her a letter and say that you can't even remember why you fell out now but can we be friends?

I do hope that you can sort things out with your sister as family is so important.

Janthe

I know exactly how you feel. I have a very complicated situation with my sister and her family. She hasn't spoken to me and my daughters in two years. It makes be very sad and, at the same, very angry - because the situation is of her making. I miss that side of my family, but life goes on and I have two wonderful daughters and four wonderful grandchildren.

I can't write about the situation because it still upsets me after two years, and my daughters feel the same. Every so often we say that we still can't believe it happened and we don't speak to my sister.

butternut great post, I have just caught up , have been away over the weekend. I find it very difficult to post on here when i am "down" and I don't really know why, I seem to get tongue tied and can't find the right way to put things. I do read posts and offer sympathy and support to others but sometimes read something and don't feel I can respond as eloquently as others do, and frequently find it easier to join in on the less serious and jokier threads. As Soop* says we are so lucky to have Gransnet long may we share each others trials and triumphs.

bikergran
Aren't we fortunate to have Gransnet. The friendship we share, is priceless. I love the way we rally and comfort those of us who are experiencing difficulties. And then, when we surface from our trials and tribulations, there is a coming together to celebrate.

All those of us who are "down" have my support. It sounds corny, but I truly care about you all.

Thanks for the poem, notso

At times one thinks..that there is only you(me whoever) with problems /family/money/partners/grandchildren etc..but then when you come onto "Gransnet" you realise "you" are not the only one, and somehow it seems to ease your own problems just slightly, doesn't make them go away but you don't feel as isolated dealing with your problems, sometimes you think you have the worst goings on to deal with in your life, but reading others problems can sometimes make yours look "not quite as bad as you thought"

Coming onto "Gransnet" is almost like going to the therapist (I imagine! although I have never been)! and like O/P said "a whole lot cheaper"
of course we don't want to get bogged down and make everyone depressed but once whe you have offloaded some of your burden then you do feel little lighter and know that there are many caring and thoughtfull people out there, even though you may never meet they are there to give you a little bit of support when you just need it, and hopefully to make your day a little brighter.............keep smiling everyone keep taking the tablets take each day as it comes

I am now off on a little walk across to Osy Mills for a and a
whilst D/H is catching flies (again)

gillybob.....what you say sounds so familiar....thanks for that. I wish I was a glass half full person but 'things' have conspired to eat (good word) my attempts away. Its a long list of drivel that I know many others would think insignificant but sometimes we are just not as strong as others - yet have learned to put up a front to the world. Hey ho.

susiecb

Take care of yourself x

Me too! I just cant get into some threads as I am spending much of my energy trying to stay positive abut a lot of things I wish hadnt happened and a lot of family worries. I have spent all my life looking either faceitious or angry and actually being neither - ts just my fornt to the word. I hope you are all having a good day today - would be much easier if only the sun would come out.

You have all said it for me really x I thought folk might think me rude for sometimes not adding to posts, but now I know you all feel the same as me at times.

What a great support this community is!

Butternut

Well said gillybob. There is support on offer on the forum and privately, if anyone needs it. It's heartening to notice that a message has popped up when you're having a bit of a wobble and someone has noticed.

Oh Butternut I know exactly what you mean. I often want to say so much but stop myself by thinking no-one really wants to hear about my miserable life or my problems. Some people come across as being so joyful, happy and upbeat but my guess is that they too have some problems. After all if you love and care for someone (as we all do)it is only natural that you will worry about them or miss them when they are not there.

Being a cynic I always see the negative side of everything which believe you me eats away at you after a while. I have tried so many times to tell myself if I try and think happy thoughts then it will make me feel happier but the cynic in me doesn't really believe it.

I do hope that you can get the support you need from someone or somewhere. perhaps private message someone who you feel you can share your personal situation with. I have done this in the past and it really does help. Thinking of you.

I would comment, but I haven't got a clue what Butternut means. [thickasever]

I often don't post because by the time I read the OP and comments it all seems to have been said, just like now!

I can understand why so many people feel they cannot/do not want to share their problems/issues but I do hope that the bravery shown in these posts won't put off anyone who would like to share and receive comfort. Coming on at this late stage it feels like the overall message is that we cope without help but sometimes bottling it up is not the answer - each to her own.

Glammanana - we are all needy in our different ways - no need to hide that.

The number of posts I've done and then deleted...loads. Just find myself thinking 'adding your drivel is not going to help' etc etc. But I'm glad folks do say these things because just knowing others are dealing with similar stuff is helpfull. Thanks.

My natural tendency is to be happy,and sometimes I feel almost guilty when I feel that I have forgotten my sorrow for a time - then I read threads like this and realise that there are many of us just getting on with our lives in the best ways we can. Once I had shared my problem and had such sympathy and support, I was able to put it in the box, as suggested in the poem. I won't refer to it again unless I have some good news to report. Yes, 'you lot' are lovely.

when I find all your comments so comforting and rational..and far cheaper than going to see a counsellor. Thank you

butter you are close to blowing cover of quite a few of us humour is our way of controlling our emotions. Not posting does not mean we don't care, just that its a subject that would open those closed boxes and let all the pain out again.

Sending you a huge {{{hug}}}}

"Sit on the lid and laugh." Notso I like it! Thank you.

Notso that's such a great poem and is reflective of the message that is given to many people who go into therapy and counselling when they've been harmed in some way - you will learn to place it somewhere safe, you will always know where it is, but once you've been able to come to terms with it, it will stay where you've put it and not come out and hurt you each time you hit a rocky patch.

Many people can get by without the need for counselling - tea and sympathy has a lot to offer, a listening ear, not being judged, and knowing that people understand and will support you when you need them to. Some people who have had such harrowing times that sharing what happened to them is a big hurdle for them, fear harming someone else in the telling of their story. I'm picking up that in this lovely mix of Gransnetters there are people who've gone through it big time, and others who have heard those harrowing stories and have lovely broad shoulders

You too, butty, m'dear. x

Thanks, Butter - you are such a caring person.