Gransnet forums

Chat

Some days it's just so hard to stay strong...

(78 Posts)
Butternut Sun 17-Jun-12 13:34:08

I think this goes for a lot of us on GN, for all sorts of reasons, and have thought hard about owning up to it. It's sometimes easier to be bright, cheery, jokey, and compassionate, full of news and fun, hiding behind what lies beneath.
For the past few days there have been 5 threads running which I have found very difficult, and that I wish I could address, but realistically this is not the place.
So I'm putting this out here and just saying, that's all.

Bags Sun 17-Jun-12 13:37:25

Brave woman, butty flowers brew

yogagran Sun 17-Jun-12 13:39:54

I can remember my Grandmother saying "Smile, it's easier than explaining why you're sad". I always thought that it was a very strange thing to say but as I get older I now understand that this is quite true

gracesmum Sun 17-Jun-12 13:40:52

I understand what you are saying butternut and all I can add is that we are here to listen, empathise, comfort and support when you need us. GN has been a massive source of suport to me at times of stress and I have also appreciated the opportunity to laugh at times through my tears. "Whistle a happy tune" may work for many, as it did for Anna in "The King and I" and only you will know when to cover up and when to share. flowers flowers

Mishap Sun 17-Jun-12 13:43:51

Yes - I can understand that - I ignore that posts that I do not feel I have the strength to face up to.
Good wishes to you.

goldengirl Sun 17-Jun-12 13:44:19

How very true Butternut

jeni Sun 17-Jun-12 13:55:02

Same here. Which is why I probably come over as flippant.

Annobel Sun 17-Jun-12 14:35:59

Same here, Butternut. I have sometimes composed a whole post that I've then deleted. Some scars don't need to be opened up.

whenim64 Sun 17-Jun-12 14:59:01

Yes, I'm with Annobel there - I skip over quite a few threads because I sometimes don't feel I have the inner resources at the time to deal with what I expect to read. It'd be strange if we'd all got to our age and didn't have a few battle scars, wouldn't it? [smile}

{flowers] for you Butty. We're here if you want us smile

whenim64 Sun 17-Jun-12 15:00:37

flowers for Butty - typo'd it by mistake! smile

greenmossgiel Sun 17-Jun-12 16:13:23

Butternut, I wonder if, underneath all of what so many of us write about on here, is a raw soreness that we just cannot allow ourselves to put into words? Over the last year there have been many threads that have touched a nerve for me, and I worry sometimes, that if I don't reply in some way to these threads, that people may think I don't care. It's because I do care that sometimes, I'm not able to make a comment.
If it helps to talk about things, and you're able to bring yourself to do so, then, as when said, we're here. xx

Ella46 Sun 17-Jun-12 16:21:45

I think this is what makes GN such a haven. We are mostly on the same wavelength,we've all got stuff that we don't want to keep going over, but we all feel the need to support each other. I think this website is a prime example of caring, loving people who respect each other. Unlike lots of other social media sites where abuse is rife.

Long live Us! flag

Butty flowers

soop Sun 17-Jun-12 16:24:41

Butter You've always been there for me. I'm here for you. smile

soop Sun 17-Jun-12 16:26:28

Ella46 Your message is lovely. Very well said. flowers

JessM Sun 17-Jun-12 16:44:41

That's what being a community is Butternut . Some days we are on form, and we've got time to support others. There seem to be enough of us to go around these days. Some days we need support. No need to feel guilty. No need to apologise.

Bez Sun 17-Jun-12 16:44:44

It is exactly the same for me - some of the posts I read are somewhat near a nerve and just not able to respond - I am sure that at some stage I will be able to comment etc BUT it is certainly not that I don't care - I am very impressed with the way everyone replies and there is such an absolute wealth of expert knowledge between you all.
Hope everyone is having a good day and able to put any problems they may have on the back burner for at least a short while. X x

AlieOxon Sun 17-Jun-12 16:45:10

Oh greenmoss, you've said it for me.

soop Sun 17-Jun-12 16:47:00

green flowers

mrshat Sun 17-Jun-12 17:19:45

With you 100% Butternut, some days you can and some days you can't and some days, well, you can't even switch on! flowers

Ariadne Sun 17-Jun-12 17:26:43

Thank you for that, Butternut. I feel the same way, mostly.

whenim64 Sun 17-Jun-12 18:18:33

green you put it into words or me, too. xx

Notsogrand Sun 17-Jun-12 18:22:15

I feel quite overwhelmed, not just by butter's OP but by other responses. Sometimes, I'm so tempted to just blurt out a load of 'stuff' on here, but I never do. Or ever will. On the off chance that it will help anyone else in the same way it helped me, I offer this poem. I was given a copy in the early 70's at a time when I needed a bit of positive thinking. Well, that's a bit of an understatement, but I'm sure you get my drift.

Then Laugh
By Bertha Adams Backus

Build for yourself a strong box,
fashion each part with care;
When it’s strong as your hand can make it,
put all your troubles there;

Hide there all thought of your failures;
and each bitter cup that you quaff;
Lock all your heartaches within it,
Then sit on the lid and laugh.

Tell no one else its contents,
Never its secrets share;
When you’ve dropped in your care and worry
keep them forever there;

Hide them from sight so completely
That the world will never dream half;
Fasten the strongbox securely—
Then sit on the lid and laugh.

I have lots of strongboxes now and I sit on their lids and laugh most days smile

glammanana Sun 17-Jun-12 18:25:30

green so well put flowers there are many topics that I wish I could comment on but I tend to hold my thoughts and think maybe people would think of me as needy I do try and look at everything from other points of view and try to put myself in that situation and comment if I think it may help.*butter*flowers

Grannylin Sun 17-Jun-12 18:32:15

That's a great poem notso but I think I need a trunk!

Anagram Sun 17-Jun-12 18:36:19

I agree with all the posts. I think we help when we can, try to offer sympathy if we have nothing else to offer, and sometimes we feel a thread is too sensitive for us, personally. If we don't post, it never means we don't care!