14 year old 'gets away with it'

In the end, whatever has been done will still have the potential to be devastating for the child and her parents. The trauma of being attacked can often be as damaging as being persuaded or treated 'gently' (not the right word, but I hope you know what I mean.

Yes, indeed. They will never really get over it.

Incidentally, as far as I am aware, we do not know what sort of pornography the boy had been watching. The judge called it "vile"; it's possible that it involved children.

Deciding whether to leave a child in the care of a 14 year old boy depends on the circumstances. I wouldnt leave a 14 year old boy babysitting if I was going out for the evening but if I just wanted to nip to the shops, assuming they werent too far I would think it a reasonable thing to do.

When my children were young I belonged to a babysitting group and several of our members with daughters would not let the husbands of members babysit for them.

The parents in this case apparently only left the 14 year old in charge while they attended a school function with their older child - a couple of hours at most. The father said he had considered the boy to be polite and responsible, and that he knew the family well. In those circumstances I'm sure a lot of us would have thought it would be OK. You just never know.

It is a very sad case. Extremely sad for the young victim and her family. Hopefully they will get high quality support to help them manage and overcome the distress and hurt the hve suffered. But also a 14 year old child has lost his childhood too. If we ( i.e.society) want this child to be able to realise the damage/hurt /wrong he has done/caused and change so he can lead a useful and positive life then he needs support too. punishment alone will not do that. I consider he has also been abused, in a different way, by his exposure to pornography.

Totally agree nanajae.

Sorry. Got name wrong. nanaej.

Heartbreaking to read the suffering of the little girls mother today.

She said she was physically sick and collapsed on the floor crying when she heard what had happened. 'Now I panic when she's not here and I don't like her being out of my sight.' 'There have been days where I just can't stop bursting into tears and I feel sick all the time. I can't cope anymore'.

The little girl still remembers her ordeal and is waiting for counselling. They still live yards from the boy, how difficult is that too.

Her dad said 'It's horrible to go from feeling like such a proud parent to feeling like the worst parent in the world for letting this happen' I think most of us on GN can empathise with them surely.

The boy was a neighbour and looking after her whilst her parents were at their other sons school play. I'm sorry I absolutely feel for them and I think over the years this family will be the ones suffering the most.

How distressing for them POGS. I can only begin to imagine what this family is going through, and to have the boy still living near must feel horrendous for them. I don't know if they live in local authority housing, but if they do there will be priority offers to move the boy and family out of the neighbourhood via the public protection panel. Hope that's the case.

We all feel for the little girl. And for her parents. That goes without saying.

I can't see that counselling could make any difference. Would only serve to concentrate her mind on it. Hope the parents aren't making too much of a show in front of her too. Far better at that age to distract her.

I cannot understand people who pour it all out to newspapers

This may be controversial but could it not be that making a huge fuss about what happened will be at least as harmful to the little girl as the actual offence? I think my approach would be to say to her 'Oh, isn't xx a silly boy, doing a daft thing like that'. I am not saying he should not have been reported, just that some experts have given their opinion that being physically examined for signs of assault can be as distressing to a child as the crime itself. The girl may feel dirty - as often happens with adult victims and the more she asked to talk about it the more it is likely to be imprinted on her mind.

jingle - great minds and all that!

Do they get paid?

Yes Greatnan!

jeni, makes you wonder.

I've got a feeling that unless it states somewhere that they didn't receive any payment, then they did!

I think it depends, J04 but I agree - emoting to the press .... mind you, the Sun may have just made it all up. They do that sort of thing.

Children are helped to disclose and recover in a sensitive and subtle way, if they see helpful counsellors/therapists such as those employed with NSPCC. I agree that making little fuss is better for the child, whilst enabling them to feel that they have been believed and the adults have shown they have taken steps to protect the child. The mother may feel she needs to express her view of things and whilst I wouldn't want to do it, she might find it was right for her. I wouldn't begrudge her being paid. Papers tend to sell the idea to such families as payment being an opprtunity for a good holiday to take themselves out of the spotlight and relax for a week or so.

I have no objection to anybody taking money off the Sun or any other newspaper, as long as the publicity does not rebound on the child.

I still feel it seems like exploiting the child!

Yes, I agree.

I wouldn't want anybody counselling my child but myself.

I wouldn't let any of the so-called 'experts' anywhere near her.