14 year old 'gets away with it'

Genuine professionals who know how to enable an abused child to recover and come to terms with what has happened to them would never dream of setting themselves up as experts, and parents are given the support they need to enable them to be helpful to the child, too. Ths mum may need some help to do that, as she is breaking down due to the shock of this incident, and at the moment might not be the best person for her child to talk to about it. The child doesn't need the burden of watching her mum falling to pieces, but mum will be able to tell her how sad and upset she was at a more approprite time.

Well said, when

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

No offence meant when.

None taken Jingle. Some mums are all a child needs after an incident like this, and no professional needs to get involved at all. Also, some people don't need counselling inflicting on them, unless they get so 'stuck' that they can't cope.

Well said

when I wouldn't necessarily agree that counselling is 'inflicted' upon anyone - there is a choice to be made about whether to accept it or not, and to walk away if it doesn't suit, for a child or an adult.

Also, getting stuck, as you put it, does not mean that there is an inability to cope.

.... not that I'm feeling defensive, you understand!

Sorry Butternut not concentrating - I was watching the tennis and backing out of the door to pick the dog up so wrote it in a hurry. I was thinking of the way the offer of counselling is too readily suggested in some cases, so inflicting was the wrong word. Same with the stuck word - some people who find themselves going round and round in circles over their abuse experiences are often coping perfectly well in most areas of their life, but may decide they need to get some counselling to enable themselves to move forward - what's right for some would not be for others.

Also, I would put out a plea for this particular mum - who knows how they would behave after a shock like this - maybe she will regret talking to the papers further down the line, but she's very much on the receiving end of this awful experience, and needs understanding, not being pilloried because of what she's done. She may see this as being a way to help the family, on balance, and not something else for the child to endure.

indeed, when. I completely agree about the rush to 'offer' counselling when trauma is still very much active, and is probably the worst of times in being able to make considered choices.

Sometimes journalists/the media can mess (not the word I had in mind but it begins with f) with one's head.

The thought of having a Sun reporter at my front door after such an incident..........................!

Awful as it is I feel / hope it is a one-off incident. Not all 14 year olds are like this yet it tars them with the same brush which is grossly unfair. Every so often papers take to a particular topic eg vicious dogs, foxes coming into bedrooms, etc etc and it makes you think that every dog is vicious or all foxes are about to come in through the cat flap when that is not the case. I'm not denying these things happen but the papers hype it up and encourage 'interviews' and so we get things out of proportion.

You're right there goldengirl

Yes, the current hysteria surrounding child abuse doesn't help anyone, least of all the child.