Um jeni ....fertility not not fortune 
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Stretchy jeans for mature lady!
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you bought an old statue of a lady clutching her robe, unsuccessfully, round her bosom, what would you actually do with it when you got home? 
I paid eighteen quid for it. (I did knock seller down from twenty, so that's alright. 
)
And, a tabletop chiminea? At 32 cms high it's too big to put on the table, and you couldn't have a little fire in it in the dining room - could you?
And then there's the garden gnome holding a notice in front of his cross looking self, saying,"GO AWAY". Why did I buy that?
What happens to brains on holiday?
well I wouldn't want him in my garden ...what a wonderful bird perch!!
OK ...just realised the double meaning there ...I meant the feathered variety
- wonderful Jacey!
Also god of viticulture. Ie vines, ergo 
A god after me own heart!
You don't 'alf start some stuff on here jens.
Which door jeni? The front one???
An the postman!!
Oh, now that's going too far, jeni! Or should I say 'those are'?
If you google Priapus Pompeii images. There are copies of the fresco I have in mind. Sooty, don't know how to link to it.
(I wonder what GNHQ mane of this thread?
jeni ,
shame your postman is not gay.
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