Lil's Bar

Nellie I avoid the brown one and only use it to go 'in off' from

Bit like a sat Nav then Pete...pointing you in the right direction.
do you ever play pocket billiards

Now and again nellie...just to keep me hand in ... finger on the pulse and all that

A notice has been screwed to the door of Lil's bar - it reads...*Warning. All those of a nervous disposition...better not cross this threshold*

soop there's a lot of things been screwed on Lils door....

Littlenellie...how did I know that you'd respond with such eloquence!

soop my lovely ..you know me too well xx

pete least you can't get in trouble for that,just be aware it will make you blind....

Tell Lil to keep a beady eye on the lads. They are hatching some dastardly deed. Keep trying to get innocent Ella into the cellar. She's a sweet-natured and trusting girl. Doesn't deserve to be taken advantage of between the kegs and racks of cheap and cheerful plonk! x

I'll risk that nell......

LIL is fully aware of the cheeky chappies and the stunts they pull on unsuspecting females..she will keep an eye on ella to make sure her reputation is not tarnished...

soop just a quick question where does she deserve to be taken advantage of....Lil does keep a clean cellar

soop how very dare you !!...innocent ella and I have a meeting this evening in the games room.....and if Lil sticks her nose in then the 'shed' still has some cocktails left over.....

pete we are more worried about where you are going to stick. YOUR nose tonight Ella is a ladee

.....damn Spoilsports Thank you so much girls xx

Pete there were some cocktails left over in the shed, but not any more ...well, I had to go somewhere Bit tiddly now.

Ooer!!!

Oh soop (shame faced, wringing hanky) I'm a good girl really, honest

It's that Pete, he gets me going something rotten

Ella my lovely lassie, I DO understand. You are as pure as the freshly laundered, starched table-napkins in Nell's low-class Bar

As for that rascal Pete, all the maidens in the village are in hiding - locked in their rooms for safe keeping.

Oh, soop, you do realise that it's been many moons since the table napkins in Lil's Bar were laundered, never mind starched (at least, not with starch) don't you? They are now an assortment of filthy rags, having been used to mop up all sorts of spillages and accidental leakages (remember gramps's bout of incontinence not long ago?), and fit only for the pig bucket where green's been boiling them up with the tripe and onions.
I fear that doesn't say much for Ella's state of purity.....

Ana...precisely!

You're so clever, soop!

How very dare you both?
Ok, maybe I've played on the pool table more than a few times, but I like to keep my hand in and Pete likes me to use his cue whenever I can.
Playing with them keeps the balls shiny too although I haven't seen the pink one for ages!

As for the shrieks of mischievous laughter ringing loud and shrill from the lads' games room. I to think what what that supposed game of tiddlywinks is all about. Pour me a quadruple malt, please Ana. Put the iou in the honesty box - that if it ever turns up. I heard it was last seen in the pawnbroker's shop window