What the heck do I do?:

I am supposed to be going to a music summer school in one week. I have booked in for full board and accommodation in order best to take advantage of all that is on offer and shared musical people company. I am going with 3 friends with whom I regularly sing, and having a lift there in order to leave my OH with a car for the week - he is going to stay most of the time with my DD, but will need a car as we live in a bus-free rural area.

Here's the dilemma. My 92 year old father lives near the summer school (about 6 miles away) and is disappointed that I am not staying with him for the week. The reasons for not doing that are many: I would miss out on lots that was going on at the summer school; he is not great company and would throw a damper on the whole week; I would have to take my car down (in order to get to the site every day) and leave OH with no transport; I would have to find parking space on site every day and would then need to walk a long way to get to the activities (my mobility is poor and I would be done in before I even started).

So.....I have offered to organise a taxi as many time as he would like to get him to the site to go to the concerts and master classes that are on offer and to share a meal together - he used to be a very skilled amateur musician so this is all relevant to him. I have even offered to pay for these taxis for him; and for a meal in the local pub which I do not actually need as I have already paid for full board.

He is not happy......he would have liked me to stay with him; he wants me to get the friend who is giving me a lift to drop me at his house when we arrive to have lunch with him (which is not practical - firstly because I do not want to put my friend to any extra trouble and also because I would have to miss a session of the course to do that - we are already missing the first day of the whole course because of a concert at home that I am committed to); he does not want to use taxis (even though I have offered to pay) - he simply refuses to countenance this. When I ask him a direct question like "Well Dad, would you like to come to a concert?" he just doesn't answer and is completely evasive.

I do not know what to do - it is throwing a cloud over what was supposed to be a break for me from the stresses at home. I just feel consumed with guilt and really do not know what to do - I almost wish I had not told him I would be there - is that very dreadful?

I feel better for getting this all off my chest; but what would you do?

I know that he is old and probably doesn't like to have his routines disturbed - I am not totally hard-hearted; I just do not know what is the right thing to do and it is getting me down. Things are not easy at home with OH's PD and other health problems (both his and mine).