Missed Opportunity

No, you didn't imagine it nannym. It was removed by GNHQ .

I went hotfoot over to read that thread when I noticed the challenging title and was rather disappointed that HQ had removed it.

I think we would have coped and it would not have resulted in personal insults. At least, no more that usual

I suspect The so called called 'insults' are actually 'perceived' rather than real!

I didn't see it and, if I had, I might have had a look but I doubt if I would have posted. The whole subject – which seems to crop up sooner or later on almost every thread these days, usually raised by the same small group of people – is edging me towards abandoning Gransnet one and for all. It's so disappointing and frustrating.

Don't be driven away, absent - I won't. You would miss all the funny, kind and sensible posts which are, fortunately, the majority.

absent, don't go, PLEASE. We would miss your calm and common-sense approach to all the controversial issues that are raised and which seem to generate more heat than they used to.

Couldn't agree more! But I agree with absent about how upsetting it is!
Do you think these people do it maliciously or unwittingly?

Well, that would be a great pity if you did that absent.

I think people sometimes post in a spirit of anger or defiance but not deliberate malice.

Of course I would miss the posts of lots of people on Gransnet – serious, intelligent, amusing, witty, informative, supportive, completely bonkers, etc. That's why I stay but I am very fed up with all this carping which seems to have happened over the last few months. I am going to put my mind to coming up with a number of topics where it would be impossible for anyone to bully or accuse anyone else of bullying, being part of a clique or being sycophantic. There's a challenge.

absentgran just read your post on JA and came back here to beg you not to go .

However, relieved to see you have already decided not to.

Thanks people but I was just having a bit of a spit, not looking for people to say nice things to me.

jeni going back to your earlier post about whether the insults are real or just perceived - if they are putting people off contributing, or joining, then that's a problem.

I read the earlier thread, and honestly think that the whole thing was a storm in a teacup. It's been noted before that this method of communication has clear limitations - we don't (usually) know the individuals, and the short messages posted can't possibly convey the subtleties and tone of a 'real' conversation. That said, I'm always surprised at how quickly trouble flares up. It also surprises me how personally some take it all - i dont think I would be particularly offended by someone who doesn't know me, and whose opinion is not of huge significance to me! I love reading the wide and varied posts every day, and admire the intelligent, kind and thoughtful grans who are so generous with their wisdom. I guess you have to take the rough with the smooth!

Quite right, hummingbird. I try to take all negative comments with good humour and courtesy and I certainly don't let them spoil my day.

Message deleted by Gransnet.

I agree with hummingbird - rough with the smooth and all that. I am happy for people to disagree with my views - I do not take any offence. That is what discussion is all about - I am not bothered if people tell me my views are daft - I might think theirs are (but am, of course far too polite to say so!!).

In general I find the discussions interesting, informative and worth following. I have learned lots of things and had opportunities to rethink my opinions where appropriate.

Why would a Troll do that? It seems a strange thing to do if you are not a member. I think it may have been someone who has noticed this and wanted to make the comment, perhaps a name changer who was not prepared to be recognised.

If this subject keeps coming up, surely there must be some truth in it?

Last time I suggested we all tried to be a bit kinder I was belittled/got at or some other term of your choice and told that we are all robust enough to cope. I am sure that not everyone is that robust. If you are like Greatnan and totally confident, that's fine but just how many people are that self-confident?

I believe no one has a problem with debate/difference of opinion, just the way it is occassionally delivered.

I have a real problem with people who change their forum name in order to post something controversial. I am happy to be idenified and to have the courage to stand by my opinions. Yes, I am confident, thank goodness, but I really don't think that is the same as being arrogant.

I saw the thread, too, and the reason given for its deletion was that GNHQ felt it could lead to personal attacks on members.
On another thread, absent suggested that anyone making allegations of unfairness etc. on GN should cite their references, but that would not be possible without revealing the identity of the member being accused. It seems that GNHQ are quite happy with veiled references (which lead to all sorts of misinterpretations and misunderstandings) but not out and out naming and blaming.
So it's stalemate, in my opinion.

AlisonMA Can a thousand lemmings be wrong?

Yes, I know that they don't really throw themselves off cliffs.

Trolls do exactly that Alison; it is how they get their kicks. Why anyone would want to is completely beyond me, but all forums have them in my experience.

If I inadvertently offend someone, I would be happy for them to send me a pm and then we can discuss it privately. No need to keep trawling old posts and making not-very-veiled references to confident people!
I am tempted to post the fact that the sun rose this morning and see what criticism that brings me.

Well, Greatnan, it may have risen where you are but here it is only up a little bit and completely hidden by clouds. I see no reason why you should use this forum to boast about sunny weather in foreign parts while some of us have limbs like etiolated sticks of celery and crave even half an hour of sunshine. It has rained so much here that I am contemplating building an ark – it's all right for people who live on mountains in Europe, having selfishly abandoned British weather except for the occasional visit, to make such insensitive and uncaring comments.