emotional intelligence

gracesmum

Hello. two questions:

What does 'bumping' mean?

Do you want people to comment here on emotional management ( or as some might say Manipulation) of others and self?

"Bumping" means moving a post up to the top.
I don't think management necessarily means manipulation , which has pejorative connotations. When we talk of "management skills" surely we mean enabling and facilitating as well as organisational skills?

I suppose if we are caring and aware we can use emotional intelligence without knowing that is what it is.
So if we had training we could be much better for ourselves and then others.

When feeling brave - helping others to be brave. Feeling happy - helping others to be happy, and also spotting when someone is 'putting on a brave face' sort of thing?
Thank you for this gracesmum

Daman
Check out empathy.

Yes Butternut empathy is a part of emotional intelligence, and of course helps the management of emotions

daman what on earth are you talking about?

Ditto

Ditto ditto

Not just me, then!

Personally, I will settle for intelligence.

Pity this thread is not running I thought gracesmum was asking something interesting.

A lesson I have learned in life is to own my emotions and not blame them on someone else.e.g to to say and feel 'I am angry' and ponder on that feeling rather than reacting with 'you make me angry'.

Thank you, Maniac, I will try to remember that.

I think maniac is so right! gracesmum's question was about what we do with our emotions, and I know that I can keep negative ones very close to my chest until someone who knows me well challenges me and makes me admit to them. (This from an ex-counsellor, who used to say "never think that your partner is telepathic"!) So, not yet very grown up, really!

If I am happy, I think my whole demeanour will show it.

Emotional intelligence education was being much vaunted in schools as I was leaving. It was seen as the missing link for more disadvantaged students, but I always felt that the less obviously disadvantaged would have benefitted from it too. As would a great many people, including me.

We used to do a lot of work on emotional literacy in schools. It was really good stuff, but it needs a lot of hard work and a consistent approach across the whole school.

Ariadne, I do so agree with the last paragraph of your post! It's certainly not only disadvantaged students who would benefit.

Thanks Daman - I am sorry it hasn't caught the imagination too as I feel it is like the oil which keeps the wheels of relationships running. I know many hugely intelligent (even hiley ejikated) people whose grasp of emotional intelligence is appalling. It helps me to do as Maniac suggested and try to rationalise negative emotions instead of projecting them onto others or be aware that if something is annoying me, that it is not somebody who is annoying

I agree with you gracesmum. Emotional intelligence is worth striving for, as the dividends it brings far outweigh those from being wealthy or highly intelligent. Being able to recognise and manage my own feelings brings inner peace and contentment for me. It may be different for others. As the query has been raised (I decided not to participate in this thread at first) I felt patronised by Daman's posts (sorry, Daman), as they were sent into an environment where some Gransnetters have shown an enhanced level of emotional intelligence. You weren't to know that, Daman as you have recently joined. I do think that one should give credit to others for being wise in knowing when to display one's emotional capacity, and when to sit back can't say I've managed any degree of consistency with that!

May I salute Butternut who comes across as a wise and peace-emitting Gransnetter. If you're looking for inner peace, tiptoe into the threads containing Butty's, soop's and others' beautiful poetry

gracesmum I haven't contributed yet but I also feel this is an enormously important subject. I believe it is an area where those on the autistic spectrum struggle and causes many misunderstandings. In many ways I feel that having a high emotional intelligence is more likely to contribute to a happy life than having a high IQ.

Why not both nightowl?

Do you mean emotional maturity rather than intelligence?

Oh how many people ( men in particular) do we know whom we might be tempted to designate as "borderline Asperger's"? From politicians to others in positions of power and people who really should know better!i When I used to teach teenagers I could see those who were going to find life hard as their worst enemy was themselves

absent of course both are important but I was trying to say that I think emotional intelligence contributes more to relationships as it relates to our ability to read people, understand them and get on with them - which it could be argued can contribute to a happier or easier life. High intelligence in my opinion contributes to one's own personal fulfilment (and the greater good, if used wisely) but not necessarily to happiness. I'm not saying one is better than the other, just different aspects of our minds.
I don't mean emotional maturity whitewave - I think emotional intelligence is more about understanding others as well as ourselves, whereas emotional maturity could just relate to one's own emotions.

Not sure I understand your post, gracesmum. It sounds a bit as if you are saying people with Asperger's (borderline or not) "should know better". I assume that isn't what you mean?