Do you ever feel intimidated?

No dorset I'm not intimidated by people in my 'normal' life, with the possible exception of my granddaughter who is 3 next week.
Actually I do have a degree, two in fact, but would you prefer if I retired to the knitting or gardening thread where all the intellectually challenged obviously 'live* ( sorry folks who inhabit these forum you know I'm only joking as I've been in there discussing turning a heel and tomato blight ) ?
But I'm pleased that despite people commenting on your posts in an unpleasant way you don't feel intimidated. What did you feel by the way? If you mention it now you have obviously remembered the incidents.
I have decided to stay and fight as there seems to be the impression in some quarters that if you find a post offensive you are a spineless wimp, so my mission is to disprove that theory ( being of a scientific leaning I like to prove or disprove theories!).
Re the PMs, you are so right.
Off to the market now to buy some baklava.

Accusations do get thrown around and it is very boring.

Clique: small group of people who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them.

and even more interesting

allegiance: loyalty of a subordinate to a superior or of an individual to a group or cause.

It just isn't happening. There is no evidence.

'Suck it up' main synonyms below.

absent what on earth did you think it meant? No.. Don't answer that!

Main Entry:bite the bullet  
Part of Speech:verb
Definition:endure pain bravely
Synonyms:be forced, bow to fate, cross the Rubicon, face the music, have no choice, know no alternative, leap into the breach, pay the piper, seize the opportunity, stand up and take it, suck it up , swallow the pill, take it, take one's medicine, take the rap
Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition
Copyright © 2012 by the Philip Lief Group.

Now I must get out to the market.

Nanadogsbody If someone finds a post offensive why don't they say so there and then and explain why ytheyou consider it offensive. It is more than likely a misunderstanding than someone being deliberately rude/nasty/abusive. In which case the "offensive" poster then has a chance to explain and elucidate thus avoiding hurt feelings in both sides. It seems so obvious to me – what am I missing?

ytheyou what? they.

Nanadogsbody

Saturday market here I come!

OK, so I should probably have said 'alliances'.

I have never felt intimidated on Gransnet, just largely ignored (probably because my opinions tend to be quite anodine compared to some - I've always been one of life's peacemakers), even when I posted at a time when I was feeling particularly low and could have done with a bit of sympathetic feedback - zilch. I have only once, as far as I can remember, been involved in a thread that put my back up because it became rather hysterical and over the top, and that was the one about the numbers of black servicemen. I tried to put an opinion forward which I thought was informed when one poster said she would not take her grandchildren to see the changing of the guard after reading all the (hysterical) posts. Frankly, I flipped, and although I don't think my post was intimidatory or angry (just despairing of the lack of perspective and common sense), it may have been interpreted as such. If so, I do apologise. I have become a bit disenchanted with GN of late - too much tub thumping and Tory bashing going on for my taste (doesn't anyone bash any other political party?) so perhaps it's time I signed out and did something more productive with my time.

I keep coming back to this thread and tbh I have lost the plot as it is going round in circles and getting nowhere.

artygran don't you go either, please! People do express extreme opinions, then these things have run their course and something else exercises their sense of frustration. Like you, I often put effort into a post and find no takers. Ah well! It's not a big deal in the scheme of things

artygran I agree about the Tory bashing also the inference that if your are a Daily Mail reader you are a right wing fascist! I vote Tory, I also read the Daily Mail, amongst others. I do not think all trade unions should be banned, nor do I drown kittens or kill the first born son of the so called proleterate (sorry that is spelt wrong but coming from a working class background with only a basic state education what else can you expect!)

glitabo me too. I have started to compose posts then given up and gone away again. I don't know what to think any more.
Don't go artygran

Barrow

nightowl What is obvious is that I do not belong to a clique or alliance or I would have summoned my cohorts by now.

Barrow

absent I don't understand? I never mentioned cliques! Have I missed something?

absent here are some

I can't bear arguments. I'm the world's worst at 'robust debate'. But I do have strong opinions!

Ana on one of my first posts I had at least five people ganging up on me. I know exactly what people mean when they say they feel got at. It is totally unnecessary to join with others to question a poster's view or ask them to explain themselves. I see it still happening often and if someone says its not happening maybe they should look at themselves instead of denying it!

If all threads are to be open to all, everyone has to respect everyone else's views. That is, we all have the right to express an opinion without personal attack, and we all have the right to disagree, but it is a good idea to leave a discussion for a while when you feel yourself getting tempted to be scornful or dismissive as well as when you feel dismissed.

The bottom line is we all have different susceptabilities. Those who have never felt intimidated, and are proud to declare it need the insight to imagine how easily their brashness can bruise those without so much armour. And there is a fine line between being proud of your ability to survive all fights and scornful of the casualties.

But those who avoid arguments and hand-to-hand combat also need to put themselves in the place of those who enjoy a verbal fencing match and recognise how frustrating it can be to have others hampering the swing of their lunges and parries.

How about instead of either retiring hurt into silence or replying with a reproach, those who feel got at come back with something like "You didn't really mean xxxxxx I am sure, but it could be interpreted that way ...." This would allow the poster to clarify what they had perhaps expressed badly, and to realise that in future they need to be a bit more subtle, and the point has been made without appearing to "whinge".

Hope that is not too long a post - would hate to bore you with moralising.

OK, Arty and Barrow, there is Tory bashing, but everyone is perfectly free to bash any party they dislike. Don't take it personally, please. I have spent quite a lot of time bashing Nick Clegg, although (because) I helped to start the party that he is now killing off. And as I'm a Guardian/Indy reader, well, please feel free to bash me as much as you like. No skin off my nose

No matter what we believe politically, we can focus on what unites us Gransnetters - we laugh at the same jokes, have the same hopes and fears for our CG and the same concerns for the treatment of older people in care - to mention but a few areas of concord.

Once I wrote tongue in cheek 'here we go again' because some of the posters were saying the same thing once again. Someone just posted seconds before me, so it looked like I was having a dig at that person for no reason. I didn't bother to explain myself but should have I guess.

Excellent post Elegran.

I don't want to bash any political party - my politics is my business, and I don't want to inflict my political views on anyone else (DH does that for both of us!). What I feel is that, like nightowl, I find myself unable to complete posts when something initially attracts my interest. I end up thinking "what the hell, is this worth the effort? Do I really want to get involved in this?" Answer, increasingly, no. I am disheartened by my inability to express a view on matters of any weight recently. This is not a criticism of GN or its members; it is a personal thing.

nightowl Thank you. The comment about cliques wasn't associated with you.

Can I point out once again that if people ask you to clarify an aspect of something you have posted, they are not ganging up against you. They want to understand what you are trying to say. Sometimes we are sloppy with the terms we use or, more often, words have several meanings and picking the wrong one can drastically change the nature of a post.

I regret checking into this thread as second thing this morning as it seems to have strayed into all sorts of other territories and I really sympathise with glitabo and artygran's sentiments "WTH, is this really worth the effort?" I have also composed posts and then abandoned them (possibly wisely) and like many others have had my moments of feeling ignored. But I am a grown up person and do not need to do anything I do not want to (at lest in this context) so if I have a problem with anyone I am at liberty to say so to him/her or put up with it - without letting it fester.
However, just one observation, Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus may list "suck it up" as a legitimate expression, but if anyone were use that to my face it would be a short conversation.