Can I just warn any lurkers out there...........

absentgrana it's becoming surreal

Presumptuous, not presumptive. Sorry, sorry twice and thrice. absentgrana – enough . Cup of coffee and then bedtime with a nice story book.

You bare – whoops – that's a bit presumptive. Sorry – you are. [Damn acrylic fingernails emoticon]

Grannylin Yes, youbare quite right, but I was talking about Boss of the Goats, re- trolls and trip, trap, trip trap over the rackety bridge. I was being very silly.

Found it and posted. Thanks.

At the moment, it's ninth from the bottom on the Active page.

it's 'ere

Yes I know that but which list ? It is not on the "last hour " or the "I'm on" or the "active" so far as I can see. Which topic is it in? and why don't we have a wholetopic called "jokes"?

It's called Just Jokes, Elegran - it won't be far down the list.

I think both Goldsmith and Wilde said something similarl but with a slight variation in the wording???

Where is the joke thread? I've just received one by email but can't find where to post it.

I love the way things develop on here! On another thread (No ensuite?) we went from lavatories to lentils!

At this rate Leonardo Di Caprio will soon head a Mafia empire that launders their drug money by stuffing mattresses with it!

Sorry to correct, (GN etiquette and all that) but isn't it Capo di capi, boss of bosses not boss of the goats?

I think it was Goldsmith who said that.

If she is promoted to a missus, she can stop faking it (but she should then remember that, as ?Oscar Wilde? said "A man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy"

Best wishes to your friend Soop.

Sorry, should have previewed, that should have said "a mister and a mattress" but it still made sense, so I don't know why I am correcting it.

But some mistresses might just be faking it...

The definition of a mistress is that she is someone who comes between a master and a mattress. Just changing the course of this thread, by pivoting in on the word mattress.

Was that mattresses like The Godfather *kittylester? (Go to the mattresses.) Is there a Mafia family called Goat? Who is the Capo di Capra?

kittylester stop it!

Oh that would make sense Movedalot. Thank you.

I said trip trap on some thread or another about mattresses.

Phoenix I was not talking about anything in the last 24 hours.

Absent no time to go back and look but you can if you like. Someone said something like Jingle was probably reading this but not posting. That is the assumption to which I referred.

Commiserations, soop, how sad.

Could you all PLEASE now do something really serious and look at the petition I have posted.