Sad and scared.

Hello early dementia is frightening for everyone and the whole family gets distressed, frightened and angry.
Firstly whilst you and your husband can get a memory book together of past events, photographs, music etc that will help to retain his past memory. Distant memory is the last to be affected so looking at a happy photo of say 20 years ago will generate positive emotions in your husband and these positive emotions last some time after the current memory is gone. Emotions last much longer than the memory so upset tends to generate unhappy emotions that cause distress for some time.
Secondly be kind to yourself, you are carrying a number of metaphorical stones on your back that, even if happy weights, grandchildren, work and husband and juggling then all will get you down. However busy and concerned you are with others it's vital you love yourself. It's easier to love others when you love yourself.
Thirdly non of us are perfect and when caring for your DH remember good enough is good enough.
I am a Retired nurse who specialised in later years in dementia care so hope my comments are helpful.

Tingaloo, I know nothing about dementia, but how lovely to have medical professionals here who can give advice and support. All I can say is how I admire you for all your commitment to your family and your great adventurous spirit.

Reassuring thoughts from Brendawymms; just the sort of calm approach needed when there are so many confusing emotions going around. You must have been very good at your job and helped a lot of people, B. And are still doing so.

Sensible and helpful words, brenda. My sister in Canada told me a little less than a year ago that she had been diagnosed with early Alzheimers after 2 mini strokes.She and BIL were due to visit rellies in Scotland - possibly a last visit as BIL also has prostate cancer, so I set about looking out old photos of our childhood, mostly black and white and spent many happy hours putting together an online photobook which I then had printed for her as a present to remind her of happier days.Although DH had been in hospital for 3 months I also determined to drive up to Scotland for the weekend to meet up with her and BIL.
Didn't quite work out as I expected. She said thank you but seemed underwhelmed by the book (I loved it) but also, frankly I saw no signs of what you might call dementia - sha has always been a bit strange, coming out with non sequiturs and getting the wrong end of the stick, so no change there. Anyway I took a deep breath and told her so (not the last bit of the sentence) but just that I could not see any recognisable sigsn and was her doctor sure? To cut a long story short when she saw the specialist in September, he confirmed that there were no signs of Alzheimers. She mght have been suffering from the after effects of the mini strokes a sort of mild vascular dementia, but since then there have been no recurrences.
I wish you well tingaloo it is a hard thing to learn.

Vascular dementia is the second most common type of dementia after Alzheimer's. it's caused by a problem with blood supply to the brain. It is irreversible as once an area of brain has been destroyed it cannot repair itself unlike other areas of the nrain. Its onset is usually caused by a series of small strokes which often go undetected at first as the damage caused is often minimal. But if more and more mini strokes occur then ever-increasing areas of the brain are destroyed, and those close to the victim will start to notice changes in behaviour, cognitive ability, memor, etc. Other people may not initially notice anything wrong.

It can be diagnosed by a brain scan.

Both my children were initially in denial, even after the scan, they just thought he was getting forgetful. Now they have at last witnessed a 'confused spell' and will not allow him to childmind or babysit on his own any more.

Alzheimer's is a different form of dementia altogether.

Unlike other areas of the body

www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=161

I realise that women suffer from vascular dementia but am I right in thinking that it's more of a problem in men because of their brain doesn't use both sides in the way that a woman's does [sorry, not a very good way of describing it].

I don't think it's a sexist disease crimson ?

It's important to try to ascertain which type of dementia a person has but first any underlying depression must be treated. Depression can cause memory and cognitive problems. Not until depression is ruled out should a diagnosis of dementia be made.

Yes there are many forms of dementia and each has a differing path and decline. This is partially due to which areas of the brain that is affected so a CT scan can be helpful.. Unfortunately many dementia e are only diagnosable after death.

Alzheimer's has a fairly steady decline rate and vascular dementia tends to decline in steps as each mini stroke happens. For those with vascular dementia the reduction in stress can space out the decline. When I did my degree in dementia this is the area I researched and found some interesting methods that helped some people. I will share them if asked but I stress that the health professionals, the Alzheimer's society and Admiral nurses are the first port of call they will work with the families, because it affects all the family not just the person with dementia.
A very happy Christmas and a healthy new year to all. God bless

Does it always follow that someone will have more mini strokes or can medication stop that happening? [or reduce the frequency]. My dad had dementia of some kind; I'm afraid that it was many years ago and it was only after his death that I realised how awful life had been for both him and my mum [I lived a long way away and had small children; I just thought what was happening to my dad was an unfortunate part of growing old]. As for my previous question, if a woman has a mini stroke will other parts of the brain 'take over' the work that the affected part did, or is the damage too great for that to happen? I also knew someone who suffered from 'geriatric depression' and I haven't seen her for many years although I know she is still alive. She went into a home after her diagnosis. I haven't heard of Admiral Nurses.

A lot of people have mini strokes from which they recover very well. It does not mean they have vascular dementia.
People who have mini strokes are often given medication such as warfarin to slightly thin the blood and therefore, hopefully prevent more happening. Mini strokes can be a great warning sign that a lifestyle change is needed and with the GP the person can try to make sure they do not happen again.
For people diagnosed with vascular dementia medication and help such as reducing BP and medication and diet can reduce the frequency. Medical researchers are learning so much about dementia that treatment options are much improved since your Father's Day.
It is also true that with all of us living much longer statistically there is more chance of becoming forgetful but my aunt lived to 103 and was sharp as a tack to the end.

What about taking aspirin; one minute the wonder drug and next to be avoided. I know my doctor once told me it prevented bowel cancer [which was prevalent in the ex's family].

I have looked into this quite extensively Brenda and there is obviously a link between vascular dementia and other conditions you mentioned and diabetes. MrDog does not have diabetes but we've struggled to keep his blood sugar within bounds.
He is taking aspirin to blood thin and statins and BP thingies. This may help reduce the incidents of mini strokes, TIAs, etc. and the related damage. I think there is obviously an inherited tendency here as his mother suffers from the same condition which went undisguised for years and she's in a home. Treatment option are limited but improving, what hasn't improved is early diagnosis which is vital. I had to use all my assertiveness to get his GP to take me seriously and order a brain scan. Thank goodness I insisted.

crimson there's still a lot to be learned about the functioning often brain. Once an area has been 'killed off' it cannot be regenerated. There was research into re-routing brain signals through different neural pathways and the success of this depended on how extensive the area damaged was and where exactly in the brain it was. It is possible to have a 'silent stroke' which has no apparent effect and is only discovered after a scan.

It's interesting what you say nanado, because the article I read said that men tend to be diagnosed earlier because their partners pick up on the warning signs and [as in your case] persist when the GP's don't listen. I think they tend to ask the patient a few questions [who's the prime minister; what day is it and such like] and, if the answer is correct just seem to assume there's nothing to worry about. Which, imo isn't good enough.

EXACTLY crimson that's exactly what happened. MrDog actually got one wrong and the GP sort of said 'that doesn't matter'!!!

You know when they sort of dismissed you when you were a young mother 'IF he's being as sick as you say be us be ought to be dehydrated' one pompous old fart doctor once said to me about my baby son...who later turned out to have pyloric stenosis, but that's another story...

Well I was having none of it then and I was having none of it this time. But a weaker man less persistent woman might have given up at this point.

Be us be??? Should read as sick as you say he is...

I heard a talk by Admiral Nurses some time ago, and was very impressed and moved. They were introduced bu John Suchet, and he too was impressive!

www.dementiauk.org/what-we-do/admiral-nurses