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Have I missed out by not having a grandson?.

(74 Posts)
HUNTERF Fri 28-Dec-12 18:44:51

I was having a conversation in cafe today and he had just bought a present for his grandson.
I thought it was something girls would not be interested in but took a look anyway.
I have got 2 wonderful daughters and 3 wonderful granddaughters as well as my 2 son's in law who first appeared on the seen aboout 15 years ago.
He said he thought it was a shame I have never had a son or grandson and I have to take an interest in netball etc and I have missed out on a great amount of fun.
Do any gransnetters agree with him?.
I must say that having a grandson is not impossible in the future but he will be the first boy in the wider family in 54+ years.

Frank

NfkDumpling Fri 28-Dec-12 19:16:09

Ooooh, I can feel my feminist hackles rising here! What did he mean? I have 2 daughters and 1 son. As children they all sailed, rode, swam, fished, fenced, did their Duke of Edinburgh Awards etc. Girls can now join scouts. They play football, cricket and rugby.
I don't think there was any fun we had with our son that didn't include the girls.
I now have 3 granddaughters so whatever it is you're missing, I'm missing it too.

vampirequeen Fri 28-Dec-12 19:16:59

Every child is a blessing. I don't think you've missed out on anything. If he's talking about things like football....well one of my daughters played football for her school team. Our youngest daughter climbs trees better than anyone I know. Our son likes to ride his bike and kick a football but also likes to play with Barbie.

NfkDumpling Fri 28-Dec-12 19:17:55

Thought of something. Don't boys have this thing about peeing in the snow?

bluebell Fri 28-Dec-12 19:26:03

If your children and grandchildren are healthy then just count your blessings- simple!

annodomini Fri 28-Dec-12 19:38:04

Grandsons are as different from each other as they are from granddaughters. I have three of one and two of the other. Just enjoy each of them as individuals and you won't feel you are missing out in any way.

nanaej Fri 28-Dec-12 19:48:00

2 daughters, 2 grand daughters, 2 sons in law and 2 grandsons.. all different, all fun, all loved!

NfkDumpling Fri 28-Dec-12 19:49:08

So what was this toy that a girl wouldn't be interested in? And apart from the snow peeing thing what fun can't be had with a girl?

crimson Fri 28-Dec-12 20:11:39

My husband didn't speak to me when our firstborn arrived, because she turned out to be a girl. He said, years later that he would have happily had a house full of girls. When I looked in the attic for 'girls' toys' one day I couldn't find any, apart from a lovely old dolls house that my husband had restored for her. It was all Lego and Meccano. Not because it had been inflicted on her but because that's what she was interested in. I did, however understand how he felt years later when I realised I was unlikely to ever have a grandaughter and felt a wave of disappointment. I think that if a man is of the engineering variety they feel more of a need to have a son/grandson as not many girls take an interest in stripping engines down.

cheelu Fri 28-Dec-12 20:16:01

Hunterf I understand were you are coming form because I have two boys and a grandson but you know what, I was told the the boys will bring the girls!! My daughter in law is so lovely and if I had a daughter I wish her to be like my daughter in law. How about your Son in laws, do you get on with them.

whenim64 Fri 28-Dec-12 20:22:29

Gender is immaterial. We've been an extended family of all boys, then a few girls started to arrive. If it's only about what toys they play with, or what activities they do, it's not made much difference to us. The girls have been involved in sporting activities and the boys have all crowded round the dolls house and toy kitchen with no pressure from us either way. Being a grandparent at all is a gift smile

Ana Fri 28-Dec-12 20:37:27

I don't think the friend meant any harm - it was only a conversation point! We are a family dominated by girls, and there are not likely to be any more grandchildren of either sex, but I've never wished for grandsons particularly - I'm very, very happy with the granddaughters I have. The only time I fleetingly wish we had more males in the family is when something requiring brute strength is needed, as OH is quite frail, but that's just being selfish! grin

gracesmum Fri 28-Dec-12 21:36:22

What a silly observation - I hope it didn't bother you Hunter but how irrelevant - we had 3 DDs and have 2 DGSs and I have never felt the absence or lack of either DSs or DGDs.

Elegran Fri 28-Dec-12 21:50:33

You do hear some silly comments - when our first daughter was born one person said, "Never mind, the next will probably be a boy." WTF was that about?

nightowl Fri 28-Dec-12 22:01:46

I agree that people say some strange things. When DD found she was expecting a boy she found that some people treated her as though she had, in her words, 'won the booby prize'. She feels that young mums now seem to prefer girls to boys. All children and grandchildren are gifts to be treasured and deserve to be loved in their own right, not because they meet our own expectations. I adore my DGS and my lovely step GS, and if I never have any more I still count myself a lucky woman.

crimson Sat 29-Dec-12 09:59:13

When my father in law came to the hospital after I'd had my second child [a boy] his words, as he held my daughter's hand were 'you got it right this time then'. I may be a bitter and twisted person but I never forgave him for it I'm afraid sad.

dorsetpennt Sat 29-Dec-12 10:05:33

I had one of each and now have two GDs - both my son and wife and I didn't mind what we had as long as the baby was healthy was the main concern. However, I did find that women with girls only were quite disparaging about little boys. If my son was running around making little boy noises a friend of mine used to shudder and say 'I'm glad I don't have any boys' meanwhile her daughter was also running around shrieking at the top of her voice.
When my DIL was expecting her second child people used to say that she must hope for a boy this time. She didn't mind! Either did my son, he adores his little girls.
This passing things on to a son is so outdated. Unless you have a dukedom there is nothing that you have that you can't pass on to your daughters, including your name.

whenim64 Sat 29-Dec-12 10:21:24

I don't know whether being able to learn the gender of the baby before birth has made much difference. For me, I would still want that surprise to be part of the birth, but I appreciate that many parents are dying to know beforehand. Having seen my soon-to-be-born grandson in a 4D scan a couple of months ago, I do feel as though I have already met him, and am eagerly waiting his arrival 4 weeks on Monday (unless future DiL goes into labour beforehand). smile

glammanana Sat 29-Dec-12 10:32:12

HUNTERF how I would like this person to call into our local "SoccerDome* on a Saturday am and watch the girls play their football and do their Karate they then go to training twice a week and run the coastal front here on The Wirral sometimes as far as 3/4 miles,and the youngest is 7yrs old so no contest there.
If only people could let kids be kids and not expect certain things from each gender,some of our best cooks are men and some of our best altheltes are women.

glammanana Sat 29-Dec-12 10:35:19

To anyone interested I also have a DGS going spare (I have 5) he is available on sale or return as he is going through that "Why can't I stage" all offers considered.grin

Faye Sat 29-Dec-12 11:03:41

Years ago I asked my SIL what sex he would choose if he could for their second baby. He said a girl because he had enjoyed having a daughter and would like another. He also has four brothers. I know my son just loves having two boys, I suspect it is because he was the only boy of sisters and all girl cousins. They both would have been more than happy with one of each. Much more important though is a healthy baby.

crimson Sat 29-Dec-12 11:09:21

I do think that boys are allowed to grow up in their own time still, and don't have this peer group pressure to grow up fast that girls seem to have these days. And two brothers together seem to muddle along together terribly well.

harrigran Sat 29-Dec-12 11:25:48

I have a DD and a DS but two GDs, it has never been an issue, we are absolutely delighted with all of them smile

Nelliemoser Sat 29-Dec-12 12:05:50

Ouch! Hunterf what's all this about "I thought it was something girls would not be interested in but took a look anyway." Why shouldn't girls be interested in whatever it was?
I feel a feminist fume coming on here.
This website on facebook has had to raise a site to complain about toy gender stereotyping.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Let-Toys-Be-Toys-For-Girls-and-Boys/104658933034521?sk=info

Seriously there is no reason on earth that girls and boys should not be interested in the same things, apart from the way the media and advertisers etc promotes them. This advertising of toys, clothes, etc seems increasingly geared to gender division than it was 30 odd years ago when my children were small.

annodomini Sat 29-Dec-12 12:33:38

In our family, both genders are obsessed with computers. Christmas day was very quiet because youngest GS was upstairs on the Playstation, engrossed in a Star Wars game; his brother was on the laptop creating buildings on Minecraft; the other two (GD and GS) had been given tablets (like mini i-Pads, but much cheaper) and were busy loading applications onto them, Skyping their mates and so on. However, we tore them away from technology to play a family game of charades - envisage me trying to enact Tom and Jerry.