Have I missed out by not having a grandson?.

No point in worrying about something you have no control over. Just enjoy what you have.

I have one daughter and one son, and now am the proud Nana of six granddaughters, not likely to be any more grandchildren. They are each so different from one another, and although a bit "pink", I can play trains and Lego with the younger girls! My daughter was much more of a tomboy than anything, while my son tended towards more gentle hobbies, I don't think I gave "suitable" toys much thought, just fed their minds with whatever was of interest. Son is now an arborist, daughter a drugs counsellor, they will all turn out different anyway!
Happy New Year everyone

Sorry OP, but what a shame such questions are still being asked.

We have 2 daughters and I'd be horrified if my OH asked if he'd 'missed' anything by not having a son (:

Are you of Royal blood. Maybe behead your daughters for treason? OK, only jesting, but just saying ^

So how do you feel about things now Hunterf..

Of course you've missed out by not having a grandson. Can't help that, can we? Make the most of what you have got and don't dwell on what you haven't.

BTW it looks like I will miss out on having a grandaughter. That's ok.

I agree, jingl. I don't get all the shock horror at the friend's harmless comment - you do miss out if you only have children/grandchildren of one sex. It's nothing to do with what toys they want to play with or their interests, the sexes are essentially different, but that doesn't mean we necessarily get all bitter and twisted about it - it's just a passing regret!

I think having a son means a lot to a man. I didn't understand that thirty odd years ago but I do now. It had such an effect on my relationship with my husband the marriage didn't last .

I'm pretty sure my DH much prefers his daughters to his son. Sons can be a disappointment to their fathers.

You tell it how it is jo5, but I suppose there is nothing wrong with that and sometimes people do need that. I have been at the end of your straight forwardness and at the beginning I did not understand it and just took offense But now I appreciate that if you want it told ask j05 ha ha ha ha......love it!! PS just in case you didn't see it--that was a compliment--

I saw it. Ta.

When my older son was a teenager I began to think that sons and fathers should be separated at that stage for the safety of both. Rutting stags and all that. They have a brilliant relationship now but it was a horrible time for everyone.

JO5, my older brother and my dad came to blows when he was a teenager, and the damage was never repaired.

That's so sad granjura. I know I clashed with DD when she hit her teenage years but we never came to blows. It must be all that testosterone.

You may have been interested in Steve Biddulph's book Raising Boys, Nightowl. He talks about how around age fourteen, boys need to spend more time with other adult males besides their father, such as uncles, grandfathers or family friends.

My son was quiet and easy to get on with as a teenager, but his father was more interested in doing his own thing at that stage. It was a pity as they were close when my son was younger. I am happy to say my son is very close to his young boys and spends most of his free time doing things with them.

I have seen that book Faye although I haven't read it in any depth. Perhaps I will get hold of it in the interests of the next generation. Unfortunately for DS1 he had no grandfathers and his uncles were not close either emotionally or geographically. OH and DS2 did not clash in the same way so I think it was a personality clash. DGS's father is a lovely gentle man and I can't imagine him ever losing his temper, but strange things happen!

Hello Faye Thank you for the link it really was interesting. There was a part of his comments that I did not agree with though, he says.......

a 13-year-old is like a one-year-old: passive, disorganised, and unable to make good choices. Parents have to provide structure, as they can't organise themselves."

The reason I do not agree with this comment is because my husband was a latch key kid (parents not around much) he had to fend for himself most of the time and very quickly learnt how to organise himself and make good decisions.

I think it is dangerous to say ALL 13 year olds are a certain way because all 13 yr olds are different, some are mature some are not, at 13 my brother was very organised, and was brilliant at making good decisions, one of them being to start his own business(he borrowed his pocket money to his friends and charged them interest!!) I def would not choose the words un organised and un able to make good decisions if I were to describe my 13 yr old Brother.

But thats just my opinion though..

NO YOU HAVE NOT MISSED OUT! Oh? Am I shouting? That's because I have the two grandsons staying over tonight and I can't hear myself speak!! Help! I'm on my second G&T. Noisy little buggers blighters!

I agree with that Nanado. My two went yesterday and we are sooo civillised again.

Ok. I miss them a bit.

Yes. That's sad Granjura. Mine haven't come to blows (DS is a big lad, DH isn't ). It's more the fact that they are both control freaks. A lot of eye rolling and hair tearing goes on.

When we told my In-Laws we were expecting our 1st baby in 1972, the very first thing MIL said was NOT "Congratulations" - but "You'll be hoping it's a BOY"! We were very taken aback & quite upset & then very annoyed. Of course we had a lovely daughter-and another a few years later. Their other son "did the right thing" and had 2 sons who were the "apples of their eyes" and were treated very much better by them,than our daughters were, over the years. My own father (my mum died when I was a teenager) loved those wee girls while he lived, as well as my sisters 3 daughters. He may have had a secret longing for a boy in the family, but he certainly NEVER mentioned it if he did. We now have 2 granddaughters & 2 grandsons of our own and we 'love them ALL to bits'! 3 are siblings with brother in the middle. He's 14 & the nicest, laid-back teenager you could meet - Just as well with 2 bossy sisters!! Our younger grandson is an only child -due to mum's medical problems- but he may get an adopted sibling one day. We have to admit that he is a lot more tiring to have visit, but he is also very entertaining. WE are just that bit older now than when our 1st grandchild was born 18yrs ago! Just LOVE your grandchildren, no matter which sex they are. THAT, more than anything else, is the most important thing..

At the moment I dislike my only grandson. He is three and a half and has decided he does not like me visiting the house. He says no all the time, kicks me under the table, snatches everything off me and tried to jog a hot cup of tea over me today! It gets worse when parents remonstrate so I have asked them not to comment and to leave us to it and hope by various means it gets better. When he forgets he doesn't like me, he is quite loveable but that is not often.

I have four GDs and had no trouble at all and love them all dearly.
This little demon reminds me of his dad at that age and I only hope he grows out of it soon as it took about 7 years for t'other one to become civilised!
However I have heard of devil girls too and they mostly grow out of it thank goodness.

Oh dear rinky what a terrible situation. It's good though that his parents have decided to leave it to you to sort out as you requested. And caledoniac too many people used to think like your in-laws in those days.

I've just been woken up by two pirates wielding swords and indeed am writing this in bed wearing a pirate hat. Not a good look.

RINKY My seven year old grandson has turned into Kevin the teenager. During this last visit he wouldn't even say Good Morning back to me. He hasn't got physical with it though. He would be in BIG trouble if he did. He will grow out of it and I try to ignore it. (I notice he looks sad when I kiss him goodbye at the end of visits. )

They do still love us. But I do think the physical side of your GS's behaviour should be dealt with severely, preferably by his dad.

caledoniac I felt my MIL was very much in favour of boys (30+) yrs ago. She had four grandchildren in 4 yrs. My Sis in law and I produced a Boy each and then a Girl each. I always felt the boys were considered more important than the girls. Nothing obvious but it was there.