why am I like this?

You are allowed to be tired now, tanglerose! You probably haven't had time to be tired before now. So luxuriate in it, sleep, doss around, have lovely baths - just treat yourself kindly. It is time to stop the carousel and think of yourself for a change.

No wonder you are tired and worried after everything - none of which is the slightest bit trivial - you have been through. Do look after yourself, and do keep in touch. ((hugs))

tanglerose, you're another one (like me) who feels they have no right to complain because others have things far worse - but that's not the point. You've had a great deal to worry about which has worn you down, and despite probably looking forward to retirement it's a bit of an anti-climax.

I agree with Ariadne - give yourself time to gather your strength and look after yourself for a while. Human beings are resilient, but we all need to treat ourselves gently sometimes.

tanglerose not trivial at all! You describe what sounds like a marathon of emotions and not to mention working, and now you have stopped to take a deep breath and is has all caught up. Be gentle with yourself.

tangle its now your time, it takes a while to get off the carousel. It takes a little while to find yourself again, you have had alot going on the last 10 years you have to expect a time of adjustment. Dont be afraid to enjoy it.{{{hugs}}}

Thankyou so much for kind replies am having a good howl now - very pathetic. Think bath and early night is called for - God bless all

You're tired out, tanglerose. Knowing that you no longer have the strict routine of work to direct your days, your body is allowing you to you slow down.
It takes time to take on board that your time's your own once you retire, and sometimes a bit of guilt sets in, making you feel that you should be doing this or that. Be kind to yourself and listen to your body. Don't make any plans and everything will begin to fall into place.

You have every right.
Just relax. That's what you need.
Remember weare here if you need us!

As someone else has said, you haven't had time to be tired for years! It will take a while for your body (and your mind) to be able to relax. A long soaky bath sounds good - be kind to yourself.

Are you joking tanglerose.saying that you ar moaning, you mention a terminally ill garndchild, does it get any worse than that!!!!!

You have every right in the world to be moaning sweet, every right in the world!!

Amids it all try and find something that puts a smile on your face, bit it a favourite place or a favourite cake, we all have bad times-- the good news is that they dont last forever..

Your retirement has been spoiled by your family problems and probably the fact of having lots of time on your hands has given you time to think about the problems--but you could make the decision that you are going to spend your time doing nice things.

You are so lucky being retired, having the day to yourself to do as you please..the best bit for me would be NOT having to get up early!!

Best wishes x x

Tanglerose no time to do this thread justice as I'm on my way out. and plenty of ((((hugs)))).

Oh tanglerose you poor thing,all that sadness and worry about family, no wonder you feel so tired and upset.

It took me months to get used to retirement and I didn't have any stress at all at that time, and I felt guilty for ages.

Please try and give yourself time to relax, and be kind to yourself. You're no good to anybody if you are stressed out.

We're here to help and support you whenever you need it xx

I recognise much of what you are saying Tanglerose - the adrenalin you have been running on over the months and years of being strong for you family, has run out and now you need time and understanding to recharge your batteries. I felt very much like you for a few months after retiring and also after DH's periods of illness - once the strain is off a person is much more likely to go to pieces. Time of year doesn't help either- dark, cold gloomy. Take some deep breaths, do not set yourself any targets- having all the time in the world is not the universal panacea many people think - you can feel aimless, rootless even useless, but once you feel ready, I would suggest some fresh air - countryside or seaside, some visits to nice places you have always wanted to see, a bit of pampering if you enjoy that and then once the Spring comes - look at how you want to spend your time - who needs you and what you will enjoy doing. You are not unique in feeling like this- my SisIL retired from being a GP 9 months ago and despite knowing my own experience of how you often feel worse before you feel better, went through a period of real depression. Don't force yourself and don't commit to too much, but you will find activities and people who will help to give a new form to your days. 2 1/2 years down the line I feel I am in a good place now, but it took time.

Tanglerose you are feeling like this because you have a huge amount of sadness and worry on your shoulders. You felt retiring would make it easier but it has probably given you more time to think. You need to be kinder to yourself. I wish we could do more to help you, but at least we can listen and give you support. Best Wishes.

tanglerose, I agree with the others who think you now have time for everything to catch up with you. It sounds to me as if you're doing some of the mourning you haven't had time for while you were so busy, because you aren't doing all you expected. It will pass - possibly you won't notice it doing so until you suddenly find one day that you feel a lot better. Just go with the flow and do whatever (if anything) you get an urge to do and wait until things look up. Best wishes and [hugs]

Be kind to yourself, pamper yourself a little

Just be kind to yourself tanglerose.

You have had so much to bear over the last few years and being busy at work has kept it all at bay I expect. Now that you have stopped for a moment, all the things that were kept under wraps come to the fore.

It is when we relax and let go that we are faced with all the things that were under the lid.

Give it time - there will come a time when you will start to enjoy your retirement - just give yourself some time.

We have all been there in one way or another, so keep in contact.

tanglerose, anticipation often swamps the result. Everything that is to be enjoyed about retirement will gradually creep up on you. The first day you don't have to go to work is really just another day especially as you have had a lot of stress to deal with but eventually you will realise that it is the beginning of the rest of your life and you will treasure the time that is truly yours.

I so agree with all the sentiments expressed above. Retirement takes some getting used to but all things pass. I took ages to get used to retirement from a very demanding and at times stressful job, even though I was so looking forward to it and felt very positive about it. But now yo!ho! things are good and because I am not so tired I am able to tackle any problems with a better heart however big or small.

How you are feeling at the moment is perfectly normal - after all you are human - so never worry about that. Climbing out of a dark place takes time and therefore patience but it will happen, so keep you sights on that pinpoint of light it will gradually fill your entire world.

I can do no more than agree with what everyone has said. You've had a trying time over the past decade while you have also had to keep on working. Now it's all crowding in on you. It takes time to adjust to retirement but you will get through it. You can come back to us any time. Meanwhile, be kind to yourself. ((((hugs))))

I agree with what everyone else has said. I have not retired yet, but in October I took redundancy from a stressful job. I was looking forward to a break after years of stress, tensions at work and also shift work. I was looking forward to spending more time looking after my grandson and catching up with household tasks. I was really surprised to find that as soon as I stopped I felt completely exhausted and wanted to sleep constantly. I also began to feel quite low and to worry about things that hadn't actually happened. I think I am almost back to my normal level of energy again but my mood is still up and down. I think gracesmum is right about the fact that we run on adrenaline and when that stops so do we! Be kind to yourself and you will come through smiling.

I am just beginning to enjoy it, but have to start a new job soon. Don't know whether to be or but at least I know what to expect if I do ever retire!

On a different tack - have a blood test, just to make sure that there is not a physical reason.
And if you want a suggestion, try to go out for a little walk every day as the daylight and fresh air is good for lifting low mood.
Another thought - if you are a person that thrives on lots of stimulation and suddenly it all stops, that can be difficult. If i am on my own for a couple of days my personality becomes more and more withdrawn with falling energy levels.

tanglerose you are entitled to feel low. You've had a difficult time.

One other thing I would mention is that people who have stressful jobs are well known for having really bad colds as soon as they take a holiday. It's a similar thing really that is happening to you at the moment. I'm sure you will feel better soon, you just need to look after yourself for now and not expect too much. Soon, a lovely sunny day will come along and you will find your energy returning. In the meantime, read books, watch daytime TV, listen to music - whatever helps you.

As a born worrier I find that if I'm not at work it gives me time to brood on things. Jess; tangle does take the dog out for an hour each day so she is getting her Vit D topped up.

Bumped up the isthisallthereis thread as tanglerose might find some relevant comments on there. By the way, where is isthisallthereis? They must have found the answer .