What is the point of people saying ''Spend the Kids Inheritance''.

You're right, Frank! It is lovely to be able to spend money on them, and to help out, but no point at all, as far as I'm concerned, for spending money for the sake of it, if you have, and are doing everything you want.

A year or so ago, DH and I put together a wish list of places we would like still to visit, and began to plan. Then, because of work we were doing, a visit to South Africa (not on the list) came up and it was absolutely wonderful. The list is still around, but because we have already travelled a lot, it has lost its imperative. You never know what's going to turn up.

You do echo the way I feel HUNTERF. I am no traveller to be honest but when I want a little break we take one. I can't think of anything I really need to spend much money on for myself. Hut if there is anything I usually buy it.

Best to spend the money treating the kids whilst you can enjoy it with them.

I think it can be hard though, deciding how much you should be keeping for any necessary care etc. in later life. And then there is the seven years inheritance tax thing. When should you give any surplus away?

But not Hut

j07 I think you'll find that "the seven years inheritance tax thing" is now ten years.

Really?! How did I miss that?

That is so mean.

In my case, not having children, I have to be sure the money I have will last for my lifetime, including any nursing home care. The women in my family do tend to make old bones (a great aunt lived to 109), having said that I do tend to buy things I want. I may delay buying if I have had a large bill which needs paying but I do tend to get what I want eventually.

I can't find any reference to a change in the 7 year rule on HMRC website, absent. When did this happen?

There are no pockets in shrouds, enjoy it I say

It is still 7 years but perhaps increasing it to 10 has been discussed.

We do still want to travel and we do enjoy spending money on ourselves, perhaps because we went without for so many years to provide for our children. We certainly don't feel bad about doing so.

If there is money left when we die we hope our children and grandchildren will enjoy it but they already know that if they need it earlier they are welcome to it.

I have known parents who use their money as a sort of control over their children and would never want to be in that situation. I also know people who are forever paying out for their children who live beyond their means and don't think that is doing them any favours. I believe it is our job to help our children to become independant.

Sometimes we pay for meals and sometimes they do, I don't think anyone is keeping count. When we go to visit our son in Holland he has been known to give us 'pocket money'.

For me, the point of the saying is that kids have no right to expect and inheritance anyway. If there is one, that's fine, but they shouldn't expect one.

an inheritance, not and...

If any one had the nerve to ask me why my family where not contributing to a restaurant bill they would feel the length of my tongue about minding their own business.Where they sitting very close to you when the bill was paid because I would say they are very nosey indeed.
Whilst we are very lucky to be comfortably sorted with regard to future years on this planet I do think treating your family when you want is totally your own choice and if you can make life easier and more enjoyable for them so be it.We will be helping our DD with the uni costs for DGS1 for a while yet and don't feel that it is a burden to us we also help her and her two brothers with housing costs and holidays on a regular basis.

lol about the "pocket money" Movedalot.

Ana I think it applied when my mother died and that was back in 2003.

glamma I totally agree with helping out with extras and presents, even holidays, but I hope my children can live within their means for day to day costs now that they are no longer students. If however one of them went back to college we would be there to help out.

Hi Bags

Sadly my wife passed away in 2003 but her view was she wanted her part of the estate to go to our daughters and not to any of my care or to a future partner so we split our house into tennants in common. This gave me the right to stay in it till the end of my life but our daughters were guaranteed their share.
As it happened I had early retirement in 2004 and my mother passed away and her half of my parents house was left to me.
My father and myself discussed the situation and we decided it was best my house was sold and I went to live with him as a half owner.
At that time I gave my daughters their mothers share of the house I sold and this has beem used towards the purchase of their homes.
As it happened as I was an owner occupier of my parents house I did know the council could not use any of its value if he had to go into care.
My father passed away suddenly last year and happily he never went into care, He left some of the house to my daughters and I am in it now.
I know if I had to go into care the council could use my part of the house to pay for my care but not my daughters part.
I hope this never happens but if one of my daughters became widowed early and moves into my house the council could not use it for any of my care as she would be an owner occupier even if she had sold her house.

Frank

I understand what you're saying, hunterf, but what has that to do with spending money that is not held in trust for others but which could be regarded as someone's 'rightful inheritance' if they are so minded as to expect and inheritance from their parents? Money that is held in trust (by a will, for instance, as you describe) is not available to spend, is it?

Anyway, details aside, my point was simply that I don't think children have any right to expect an inheritance from their parents. If parents choose to leave an inheritance for their kids, that's fine, but if parents need or want to spend all their own money for their own lives, that's fine too.

I'm in a different position to most of you because I'm one of the 'stands to inherit' brigade. However I encourage my mum to spend her money and enjoy her life. In fact she's in Australia atm visiting my sister. She and dad worked hard for their money and saved for their retirement. Unfortunately dad passed away but that doesn't mean my mum's life had to stop.

I thought most children thought like I did until a few years ago when she had a nasty fall and needed a chair that she could sit in for long periods and even sleep in if necessary for a few weeks. We went to look at chairs that reclined but also tipped up to help her stand. I pushed her towards what I felt was the best chair for her but she wanted to get a cheaper less suitable one because of the cost. I asked her what was the point of getting a chair that wouldn't do what she needed when for £200 more she would get exactly what she wanted. Finally she agreed and uses it all the time even now when she no longer really needs it because it's so comfortable. The salesman told me it was refreshing to see a child persuading a parent to spend money and get what they needed. Apparently more often than not the child tags along to make sure the parent spends as little as possible.

"The boys" - the eldest being 52, have been encouraging us to go ahead with the down-size of our home. The latest drawings are with the builder and we trust that, in due course, we'll receive a quote within our budget for the new-build. Whatever sum of money we are left with, should the new-build be a viable project, is ours to enjoy. We came to Scotland because we wanted to explore what for us is a beautiful and interesting land. Exploration has been on hold for nine years, due to a series of setbacks that have cost us dear. "The boys" have our interests, not their own, at heart. Up to now, we have shared all that we can with them and our grandchildren. Any inheritance is bound to be meagre...and even that is to be shared with two charities that we continue to support.

Movedalot just to clarify all mine now have their own homes and to help them we have bought them some of the necessary more expensive items,ie white goods etc all three of them work DD not full time but the boys and their partners do, whilst they are in positions to pay their own way they sometimes do not have to much spare £s so we are glad we are in a position to treat them every once in a while.

glam I think we are both worrying too much about offending the other! There is a fine line between making our children dependant upon us and giving them the 'extras' as presents.

I think my position is best expressed by what I would do if I came into a huge amount of money (not likely!) I would buy them each a very nice house with whatever floor covering they wanted and then leave them to it. I would not give them the money to run the house nor enough to give up work. I would buy them treats now and then and I would take them on holiday. I just think they need to retain their independence and dignity. Hope that clarifies.

Now I'm dreaming of how I would spend the rest

I like to think that most children would want their parents to spend their hard earned money on themselves and not expect to inherit anything (I know there are those that don't but I think they are in the minority). At the same time I can also understand parents wanting to help their children out if they can - its just getting the balance right.

My own Mother lives in Australia and has very little money, which my brother takes care of for her. I have a problem with her buying me birthday and Christmas presents as I would rather she kept the money and spent it on herself - but like a lot of GNs she likes to give presents. I know she has made a Will leaving what little she has to my brother and myself - again I would rather she left it to her grandchildren or great grandchildren but this isn't the way her mind works - we are her children so we should get what she has. As I have said previously the women in my family make old bones so hopefully when her time comes she will have spent everything!

Don't worry about spending the rest I'm sure we can all help you if the problem ever arose