What has happened to GN just lately?

Post Christmas cosiness, full reversion to normal? More serious and interesting threads that arouse strong feelings? There still seems to be plenty of camaraderie and only the occasional minor spat. I think a "surfeit" is probably something of an exaggeration.

I have to say that I was amazed and deeply touched by the friendliness and goodwill that I encountered on my return to Gransnet – some of it from most unexpected directions.

I agree Ceesnan, and have seen another poster commenting on it too.

I am usually just a lurker and hadn't been on here this year, but have been quite shocked and sad to see the nasty and uncalled for comments, just a few involved, but it really has affected the posts, never seen GNs like this before. I don't agree with whole threads being deleted either.

I can understand why at least one person has now left GN. Hope its just a temporary blip and things get back to normal.

Thing is absent, I don't think the threads have been controversial in intent or am I missing some huge undercurrent? We are used to good arguments on politics, religion etc but how do the 'gentle' topics end up being nasty too?

I agree that there had been a surfeit - is it related to the large number of new posters we seem to have acquired. I think it's a re shame that the lovely atmosphere has gone.

It's nothing to do with new posters. That's just not fair to suggest that.

We're all different, aren't we? Some people thrive on conflict, whilst others run a mile. If it doesn't resolve fairly quickly, I leave it alone. Least said, soonest mended.

Here's a few behaviours that some people resort to when confllct arises:

• Pretend nothing’s wrong
• Just give in
• Hit someone or get visibly angry
• Go to an authority
• Use the silent treatment
• Cry
• Complain to someone else
• Smile no matter what
• Make jokes, kid around
• Agree to talk about it (no yelling)

Whenim you restored my sanity after dreadful problems on other Forum and I have enjoyed this one, I seemed to miss the problems as thread now been deleted.
I do not want to get involved either!! We all have different opinions and never any need to be unkind if you dont agree with someone just ignore it is much nicer!!

Gransnet is open to all the length of time someone been on her is surely irrelevant? Lets just be kind and supportive to each other!!
I have been very pleased with level of support and friendship I have been shown.

absent I had begun to feel that there was a spate of very inconsequential threads posted that appeared to me to be swamping anything else. Responses to this did rather vere into the over sarcastic and slighty spiteful.

I would have preferred some of the more active discussions that go on rather than "surveys."

Maybe with the cosier threads us GNers, who like a bit of cut and thrust were goung stir crazy and wanting some more lively mental exercise, so tried to liven up the cosiness.

It is totally impossible to suit threads to all Gnrs we are and should be a very diverse group.
Now I have tried my best to phrase this diplomatically. I bet it will upset someone.

I think this is a great forum. We aren't going to all agree with each other and 'heated' discussions will ensue, that's what happens when a large group of diverse people come together. I've had some lovely private messages as well as ones on the forum. I think we need to consider each others feelings but to be all nicey-nicey to each other would be most unnatural.

Well Nellie there do seem to be some very sensitive plants in the Gransnet garden at the moment. I am at something of a loss to understand what so much upset is about but I have obviously missed quite a bit while I was away. Lots of different threads with lots of different subjects, ranging from the lighthearted to the serious, the personal to the political, the bland to the passionate is obviously the answer – and what Gransnet has pretty much always done. That way it caters for all tastes and moods and people can pick and mix as they prefer.

Which of those behaviours do you advocate when? Or are you saying that none of them are sensible? (Not that sense always comes into it when someone is hurt) If none of them, what do you advocate?

well nellimoser no one on here should be prevented from any sort of threads they want to start, lets fact it no one has to join in if they dont want to.

Surely there is room for everyone and their opinions.

maybe some people do find it unnatural to be polite to others? Surely that is not what you meant Dorsetpenn?
There should not be any policing of new posters by older ones that is just ridiculous.

Absent you put that very well! not sure i did but really I should keep quiet because I missed the thread and it is now deleted, so cannot really comment.

It was deleted before I had chance to read it all through only got the bit about criticising Cheelu who I had enjoyed seeing post.

I don't advocate any particular behaviour Jingle. We all deal with conflict in our own way. It depends whether you're satisfied with the result of your own approach.

Oh sorry when. I thought you were speaking in a "professional" way. I think you were in that line of work.

Absent that was not a helpful or kind remark. I know you are a tough old boot but other people do have feelings.

celebgran It is interesting to see some changes to Gransnet after what was quite a brief absence or maybe I am just looking with fresh eyes. Some things remain the same with one or two people rubbing each other up the wrong way, some being so self-defensive that they cannot cope with even the mildest disagreement with their views, some regarding themselves as moral guardians, as well as the majority simply enjoying getting their teeth into a good conversation.

However, I was surprised by the sudden deletion of two threads as deleting threads has been quite a rarity up till now. I can only recall three occasions – one thread to which I did not contribute or read beyond the OP and which was I think deleted on the grounds of personal attacks and two because GNHQ judged the posters not to be genuine – correctly in my opinion. If there have been more I don't recall them.

I was genuinely shocked when cheelu mentioned twice that she had been "warned" about cliques on Gransnet and feel quite cross with whoever thought that sending such a warning was appropriate behaviour. I am amazed at the number of posts on different threads at the moment nurturing hurt feelings, talking about taking sides and raking up old grievances. There have also been a number of outrageous accusations and absurd criticisms of poster's motives.

This petty squabbling is not characteristic of Gransnet or Gransnetters, although there have always been the occasional and usually short-lived spats, and I very much hope it's not going to continue.

I don't think anyone could describe absent as a 'tough old boot'! From having been on GN for just about as long as she has, and also having met her, that's the last thing I would use to describe her, Kali.

celebgran It is interesting to see some changes to Gransnet after what was quite a brief absence or maybe I am just looking with fresh eyes. Some things remain the same with one or two people rubbing each other up the wrong way, some being so self-defensive that they cannot cope with even the mildest disagreement with their views, some regarding themselves as moral guardians, as well as the majority simply enjoying getting their teeth into a good conversation.

However, I was surprised by the sudden deletion of two threads as deleting threads has been quite a rarity up till now. I can only recall three occasions – one thread to which I did not contribute or read beyond the OP and which was I think deleted on the grounds of personal attacks and two because GNHQ judged the posters not to be genuine – correctly in my opinion. If there have been more I don't recall them.

I was genuinely shocked when cheelu mentioned twice that she had been "warned" about cliques on Gransnet and feel quite cross with whoever thought that sending such a warning was appropriate behaviour. I am amazed at the number of posts on different threads at the moment nurturing hurt feelings, talking about taking sides and raking up old grievances. There have also been a number of outrageous accusations and absurd criticisms of poster's motives.

This petty squabbling is not characteristic of Gransnet or Gransnetters, although there have always been the occasional and usually short-lived spats, and I very much hope it's not going to continue.

I was Jingle but my way of resolving conflict suits me - others wouldn't find it useful for them, I suppose.

Sorry something most peculiar happened when i pressed some combination of keys that I didn't mean to. Half the posts disappeared and my last post reappeared in the "add your message here" box, although I had already posted it.

celebgran I agree with you. But at one point there was an absolute flood of posts of a very similar nature which I felt had started to distract from much of the other stuff on the site.

I don't think I have said anything unkind or unhelpful here (or elsewhere for that matter). Kali this is not the first time you have suggested that I am unkind and unhelpful. Do you have a particular axe to grind?

absent - of course there was nothing unkind about your post. (Ooh - does that make us a clique?

Well probably. You saying that you don't think something you have said is unkind when it patently is. You saying that you don't understand how anyone's feelings could be hurt.
Just because YOU can't or won't understand dies not make that a FACT it is more a matter of emotional intelligence.