Other forums.

Elegran I've just read your eloquent post. Had I known it was there [busy trying to put my own thoughts into words] I would have been very happy to have not said a dickee bird.

Thanks Kali...I can assure you that my enquiry wasn't meant to sound bolshy. Every one of us on Gransnet, is unique. It is true, that over time, a few members will discover that they have interests in common, and a few will meet and become friends. I like to think that we are here for each other and priviledged to benefit from sharing each other's experiences and knowledge. Not very well put...but sincerely meant.

Elegran that is the best post I have read on Gransnet, and explains the ethos of Gransnet so well. Thank you!

Very eloquently expressed Elegran, we must have cross-posted, I agree wholeheartedly.

As one of the early members who has recently returned I can see that some friendships and 'in' jokes and discussions have developed that it could be hard to join in if you are new. I do not think however that this means that there are cliques, just people that know each other quite well, as a new member it can sometimes be a bit daunting perhaps to try an join in.

It is a bit like walking up to a group of strangers in the pub and announcing , Hi I'm Diva, can I join you?

OK, I am jumping in here with both feet on the clique question. It comes up every so often and there are posts about it, sometimes quite heated.

I have been on Gransnet since summer 2011. When I joined, there was a nucleus of people who had been here since it was launched, and some of them are here still. Others have signed up over the year and a half since I joined, and some have left, to stay away or to come back.

I chatted on the forum with some of the members, exchanged the occasional private message with others and some others are just names to me. A few are on a completely different wavelength to me, but there is room for all, and many nooks and crannies to sit and natter in.

A few Gransnetters I have met face to face and, yes, confession time, I feel I know them better than those I have not met. I consider them as friends.

Some people have posted so often, and given so much of themselves, that I feel I know them too. When I lost my husband I received much sympathy on Gransnet. When others have posted about their problems, from household spills to life-shattering tragedies, the support is incredible. There is a band of sisters on here, who sometimes seem to newcomers to talk in shorthand to one another.

BUT That does not mean that outsiders are resented. Yes, it is true that we chat like old friends, but how did that come about? By the same means as friendships in the wide world - by talking, listening, pausing, returning, talking, waiting, absorbing, tolerating, encouraging. A newcomer is a stranger until you get to know them. That does not happen overnight. If you walk into a room full of people you don't know, you don't expect to become best friends with everyone instantly. That comes with what you give to them - support, humour, exchanges of information - as well as the welcome that they give to you.

Anyone who finds that they meet a lot of cliques in real life, never mind on Gransnet, is possibly expecting too much too soon.

(Oh, and yes, Mumsnet started Gransnet, for those of you who didn't know!) They share the same offices.

I have to jump in here to defend Mumsnet. It isn't a vile place at all - although it's fair to say that are some very 'robust' exchanges somewhere. AIBU is a particularly rough and tumble place and definitely not for the faint-hearted!

I'm a Mumsnetter, and one of the first members of Gransnet, as I joined to help swell the ranks of members, so that Gransnet got off its feet and got off to a good start. I lurk more than post here and don't visit that often.

Mumsnet is a massive forum, and there are always going to be posts (and posters) that you might not like or get on with. But it is fabulously supportive and, often, an incredibly witty and intelligent place to be.

Check out the Woolly Hugs threads, where MNetters knit squares to be made into blankets for MNetters who have been bereaved. They are truly humbling and very inspiring.

Try not to feel pinned down ninny and Bruha by soop and Marelli asking you to explain. They are actually both very nice people and the problem with forums is that the printed word lacks timbre so what is meant to be an innocent enquiry can sound quite the opposite. Also you are under no obligation to explain anything

Well saidwhen my feelings also.

Sorry, Bruha!

I stand corrected. I apologise Bruha ninny may I ask you to enlighten me, please?

I've only just caught up with this thread and just want to point out that it was ninny who made the remark about Gransnet being cliquey, not Bruha

I echo Marelli's question, Bruha...I am well and truly

I would agree with that and I cannot see evidence anywhere of 'clique-iness'. Bruha how do you come to your conclusion? I mean this in a friendly way and don't mean to be confrontational.

Sorry that should read... I agree with everything you all say

glamma elegran when I agree with you every you all say.

I like the friendliness on here and am dumbfounded when cliques are mentioned. GNHQ encourages and supports local meetups, so I and others have now met each other face to face, and will continue to do so. Regional/local forums and facilitators are being set up to enable Gransnetters to network and find resources for them to enjoy in their locality.

I refuse to apologise for networking with other women in my age range, and agreeing with any comments that reflect my own views. Divisive jabs at Gransnet members are irritating. Just because one or two people see things in a negative way, doesn't mean that's how it is. Cliques and gangs might flourish on other forums, but they won't get a toe-hold on here. If someone tells you there are cliques, ask for solid evidence. They'll struggle to provide it.

I agree, glammanana Yes, you see the same names cropping up in some discussions, but that is because they are interested in those subjects or involved in those areas.

New voices with something to say are welcome, and only some of the people who post a lot are the "founder members". Stick a toe in the water on a thread that interests you - possibly saying "I am new here, but....." There are so many threads that you will find several that are for you. If not, start another. Someone, somewhere, will answer.

I must disagree with regard to "being cliquey" I tend to think that there are just a lot of members who have been here from the start and made some good virtual friendships so are that bit more relaxed with each other,all members are welcome and it is good to see GN expanding everyday with new members,if some of the threads are not for you look and join in with something else that takes your fancy.I don't join in on some topic's but give my input on fashion/beauty/pets etc the lighter things in life really, and I tend to steer clear of confrontation but enjoy reading the input of others on these topic's as everyone is entitled to their opinion's surely.

Bruha their very cliquey on here!

I used to be on Age Concern Discussion Board and Chat but they closed them down but notice they suggest trying Gransnet did try a couple of Doggy Forum but they were very cliquey

Happened on Gransnet. Lurked for a while. Liked the people and the attitude. Barged in. Haven't found the need for other forums. Do use Facebook, but that doesn't count does it?

On the 6th.

Yes Ana, we have seen curlycut before on the Friends That Depress You thread last October at 21:17:25.