Lil's Bar 5

If everyone was 'happy-daft' like Lil's regulars......the world would be a better place.....said the bloke delivering Lil's new bed..

Just a pint Lil ..please...early night tonight.

'Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dearie dearie me.... 2 pints of sweet sherry please Lil (when you're ready, take your time)

2pints of vodka for me! I just can't take it. Is there anybody nice and sane round here?

Galen Hi - well, I think I woke up sane but something happened as the day went on and now I'm not so sure

I'm sane - but certain people make me not nice!
Pint of cherry brandy with several cherries, please...

...as for 'nice'...not so sure about that either

'Lo Ana

Hi goose Ana,
I'm staying away from the forums until after Wednesday! Can I hide in here?
I'll pretend I'm a pair of Gramps' long johns!
No one will recognise me in disguise!
Will they?

All I said was Hi and Lo and behold, they've all gone. Lil! where are you???

I'm still her!
Ah! My disguise works!

You're still her? Who, Lil?

Oh...erm, a large pack of pork scratchings - Lil? Galen?I'm dining out posh tonight - it's about time someone brought out pork scratching with apple sauce flavour

Interesting idea, Goose - surprised it hasn't been thought of before!

I fancy that. Why don't you write to the pork scratching company?( or get gramps to paint his toenails with apple flavouring [smile)

just need to talk about mundane things like crisps and pork scratchings and ...erm...daffodils at the moment, everything 'outside Lil's bar's a bit fraught. Anyone for a game of darts? dominoes? poker?

I meant here!. What with my iPad suddenly deciding to read out loud to me I'm thoroughly flummoxed!

Pete's toenails are already coated with creosote (at least I think that's what it is, they're a very fetching shade of brown anyway)

How do you know, Goose?

well, a couple of nights ago he asked me to pull a splinter out of his big toe. I tried a-sticking a pin in to gouging it out but the bugger wouldn't budge (as big as a log it was) so, I had to chew it out instead, and his toe tasted like treacle, shifted me sinus problem

a sort of reverse Fergie situation?

Yikes! Above and beyond the call of duty, I'd have said, Goose! I hope you were amply rewarded....

well, Fergie blew, I blew gnawed. Yes, dear Pete kindly treated me to a strip of chewing gum

The man should be canonised for his generosity!