Just come in.

This is so cruel, please stop! I've just had a hip replacement and I'm laughing so much I think I'm literally splitting my sides

Oh I don't know about that Absent the police might take it very seriously and begin to wonder why so many people are out to get poor Frank. Perhaps they might offer him so police protection or a new identity.

Perhaps he's already got one and its Frank Hunter,is he relly a certain author of books that upset the imams?

Frank , I do so feel for you , this Absolutely calls for one your missives.

Do remember "to cool your jets" though , before you start .

[wink wink wink]

2 anecdotes about shall we say older people being stopped by the police seem apposite here as it is possible that the police might have remarked on how you were driving, Frank
1) My elderly uncle who thank god gave up driving in his 80's was stopped for driving too slowly near his home in Scotland. When asked when he had last had a drink he replied that he thought it might have been VE Day.
2) my MIL, bless her, was involved in a minor shunt while staying with her daughter in Leeds and being interviewed afterwards was asked "Now madam, would you say you were driving erotic-like?"

My late Father In Law was deaf as a post.

WHAT?

I SAID HE WAS DEAF AS A POST

He was blind as a bat !

WHERE? what bat?

He was crazy as a box of frogs

Ribbet

But he drove his 1920's Norton motorcycle all over Lincolnshire. No insurance.

We threatened to take it away from him if he didn't stop or else report him to the authorities. His answer was "go ahead report me, they are hardly going to throw a 87 year old man in prison are they?"

Hmmmm well it all came to a head when the bloody thing fell on him at the traffic lights and he couldn't get out from underneath it !

Sorry I shouldn't laugh.........

Gracesmum