No way to speak to a child

sunseeker Of course the woman was not speaking to a child; she was, according to your report, screaming. Screaming at a child, especially one young enough to be in a pushchair, is pointless.

faye

It makes my blood run cold, Faye - poor little boy.

I will never forget it or that little toddler Ana, and while it was a very stressful time this made it a worse. The mother knew I was angry at the nurse and she explained that the nurses were keeping an eye on her son because he had started pulling his tubes out. My GS who was four at the time was also struggling with his tubes by this stage. It was probably because their pain medication was being reduced and the tubes, especially the stomach tube was causing pain and discomfort. This little toddler wouldn't have understood what was happening and why he was in pain and they were so harsh.

That's an absolutely horrifying story, Faye! I'm lost for words...

I had many sleepless nights last year when my grandson was in hospital for two weeks. In the next bed was a twenty month old toddler who also had a heart operation. One day when I arrived this particular tot was up and having his first walk after his operation and at the same time as my grandson. They were both crying, though the little boy's wasn't open heart surgery he must have still been in a lot of pain and he was little more than a baby. I was shocked when his father started saying, "stop it, stop it," to stop him crying. Well for a week this went on, if he cried either of the parents would growl at him, "stop it, stop it."

I was on edge and it got worse, the mother started smacking him if he cried. The nurses could see what was going on and we, my son, DIL and I weren't sure about saying something. I spoke to the mother in the parent's kitchen (we normally had the curtain closed between the boy's beds) saying they were in a lot of pain etc, but not outright telling her off. This woman told me her son's heart defect wasn't picked up until he was sixteen months old because he was quite heavy, normally babies with this problem fail to thrive. Every meal time after his operation she force fed this poor toddler, making him eat everything on his plate. The day before my GS was moved to another ward, I heard her telling someone on the phone they had found her son's stress levels were exceptionally high.

Then to make matters worse I took over from my son one morning to sit with my GS and just after he left an older nurse rushed over to the little toddler's bed and told him off, telling him "mummy wouldn't help him out this time." I nearly choked and though again I didn't say anything my face must have said it all. Later when the same nurse came into the ward where my GS had been moved for his last few days at the hospital, she hesitated when she saw me and looked very uncomfortable.

I think some words that people of my generation found very offensive don't carry the same meaning for others today. I haven't seen 'fuck' written on walls so much recently as it used to be done to cause maximum shock and offfence - now, I am not sure that the young people who use it so freely realise how offensive it is so they have to find another way to shock.

We one had a parent come to a nativity play . the manger was full of all sorts of 'crowd parts' of animals { ie to give every child a role}. A mother said at the top of her voice " I never seen a f....ing dog in a stable." Horrible but she had lots of problems and had probably been shouted at as a child herself.

Reminds me of an incident on a Saturday afternoon on our busy local high street a while back. A very young and obviously bad tempered 17/18 year old mother careering quite wildly along the pavement with unfortunate toddler in buggy, whilst simultaneously exclaiming to the milling throng in a very loud voice "everyone's getting in my f******g way!" The arrogance of thinking the crowds should have parted for her like the Red Sea did for Moses would have been quite funny, if it wasn't so sad.

The child in question no doubt hears this sort of language all day. That worries me less than the attitude to the child betrayed in the mother's actions. It is impossible to imagine that this child is encouraged and given confidence, or parented in any acceptable way. Very sad indeed.

I have certainly challenged mothers I have seen hitting – some would call it slapping – a child. I have always tried to keep my voice quiet and calm and have also tried to indicate that I fully understand how a small child can drive a mum to distraction. Sometimes, it has resulted in sharing a cup of coffee and finding myself doing a complete pep talk; sometimes it has resulted in abuse and threats of violence. Of all the words used in this particular incident, I think "stupid" is actually the most damaging.

Sorry was not talking about tantrum think I would. Be more sympathetic to that we have all been there.

Was meaning little tot who dropped toy!

Omg that is totally inexcusable! Poor little girl what chance has she got!

I still feel ashamed of using c word whe n my dd was adult and driving me mad when trying dish up meal as her husband was so fussy he ad eating phobia still not proud of it.

I never ever swore when they were little who on earth would! Not in their earshot anyway.

Agree with that sort person cable of swearing at wall chid what could you say she would have given you mouthful.

Seen this so often - and done nothing. What can you do? Poor children.

This morning I was walking through our indoor shopping centre when a young girl about 9 came out of a shop really yelling and at her mother (?) and lashing out at her. The woman had her by the upper arm and was shouting back at her. The young girl seemed to be totally out of control, and in a young child, I would have recognised it as a tantrum, but it was really quite disturbing. The mother then slapped the girl hard across the back of the legs, which didn't help at all. The shopping centre was busy and people noticed, but didn't do anything. What could they do ? I was hoping that one of the security staff would intervene, but there weren't any about at the time.
Like Ana remarked it's difficult to know what to do in these circumstances. For all I know the girl had behavioural problems but then she could also have been in danger of abuse.

I think I might have said something a bit friendly, like 'Oh, I'm sure she didn't mean it - what a lovely little girl'. I still might have been told to go forth and multiply, but she would at least know that somebody had registered what she had said.

Not surprised , but what a dreadful way talk to a young child. You have to be careful how you tackle this as you could put yourself in danger. She would have just told you to f off and may have hit you. You did the right thing "sunseeker" Sad.

Unfortunatley I would not be able to keep my mouth closed if I came upon this,don't rightly know what I would say but the hackles would be up and she would get it with both barrell's.

The saddest thing about that is...............
I'm not shocked/surprised.

I wouldn't have had the courage to say anything either.

And people wonder why many children turn out as they do. What hope is there

You would have got no thanks for it, sunseeker, if you had said something. It's very difficult to know what to do in such circumstances

I mean inexcusable