How long is your nose?

Glass - Thanks for posting that quote.

Actually it's coffee!

At this time of the morning? Really!!!!

Have another until you do

I suspect I'm going to need counselling if I hope to recover!

Galen I am so sorry you have been traumatised in this thoughtless way, go and have a little and look at the cruise brochures.

Get over what? I simply pointed out how impossible it would be for anyone to change their forum name without it becoming obvious
I have already said that I think anybody wishing to do so would be perfectly entitled to keep quiet about it
I thought I was being conciliatory!

Galen

What do you mean? There is no Father Christmas?
You'll be saying that babies aren't found under gooseberry bushes next!
( stomps off muttering under breath about tooth fairies being upset!)

I used to believe that something bad would happen to me if I told a lie. I still find it a bit hard to do. Though I am definitely getting over that now. Needs must occasionally.

OK, whatever you say! Strange all the coincidences and all the stuff you think you know about me. I am sure the gransnetters who bother about what you say will know the truth. As the young would say '^wha'ever, get over it^

Movedalot - of course if you say you don't tell lies we must all believe you. If somebody changed their forum name, they would have to be very clever to change their style of writing, location, interests, etc. I know I couldn't do it.

Movedalot No it doesn't; it's a thread I have been meaning to start for several days apropos of something else all together (not related to Gransnet). Your concern that I am somehow obsessed with your posts is becoming worrying.

This quite clearly stems from what I said on another thread so just for anyone who didn't see it - I don't tell lies! Happy to admit it. Why would I? As probably the least devious person you could ever meet I would soon be found out so there would be no point and I wouldn't be able to face myself, which is the most important thing.

There are ways to avoid hurting someone without telling a lie. When my son's fiancee rang her parents and wanted to speak to her mother, who was actually at our house (a different country) her father was not prepared to lie so just said 'she is on a mission'. Knowing her mother she just assumed she was helping someone. He didn't lie, he avoided telling the truth. The surprise was kept and the truth was told.

This is the trust which has kept our family so close and our marriage together for 45 years.

My mother, when she suspected I was lying, used to say, 'Look me straight in the eye.' I was very good at that, so I was usually able to detect a lie in either of my own two DSs and nowadays in my GCs. The youngest looks at me gravely and nods his head very convincingly - I don't think.

We always told our children that we would never know whether to believe them or not if we once caught them lying. It worked to some degree

In answer to your question absent, my nose is quite mobile depending on the circumstances.

Thanks for the quote, glass. Sums up my view.

For me, that's the best anti-lie thing there is – wondering whether you can be trusted again if you have been found out being untruthful. If you want to be trusted, it's a good thing to bear in mind. Compared to whether I will be trust again, which is important to me, whether something is right or wrong is hardly relevant. But trust is usually based on truthfulness and honesty.

Gillybob I love your Grandma's quote
And Glass absolutely - once trust has broken down, it is hard to restore.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

It was instilled in me from as early as I can remember that to lie was the worst thing you could do, and you can read it in my face when I tell even a little white lie, but sometimes you need to soften the truth but it does not sit easy with me.

I wonder if it's time i got over it

I remember feeling very betrayed when, as a child, i finally discovered that my parents had been lying about FC. I had believed them instead of school friends who assured me he did not exist.

Good grief absent that's a bit OTT My children loved to believe in Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy way beyond the time when I'm sure they didn't (especially when I was caught out with a red sleeping bag over my head sneaking the pressies into my DDs bedroom!) as it was in their interests to carry on "believing".

However, I think there is a need for so called white lies in circumstances where people could be hurt by the truth. I try to tell the truth when confronted with a situation, but sometimes it is better to either say nowt or be diplomatic with the truth.

My grandmas saying when we were listening into adult conversations was

Nosy couldn't come so he sent Gilly

I say it to my own grandchildren now!

A bit of the thread sorry.

I agree Absent we all tell "white lies" don't we? Surely to tell a lie in order to protect someone's feelings is not a lie in the true sense of the word but merely a miss truth which is not the same things at all.