1 month and counting

absent You've had the courage to make a decision to do something challenging and exciting. Many people sit around, vaguely dissatisfied with their lot but never brave enough to do something to change things -so bravo to you. You seem level headed enough to have considered the matter carefully and must have concluded that the pros outweighed the cons.

As for your daughters, I'm sure a lot of families have their moments when they dislike each other intensely but it soon blows over.

I've never been to New Zealand but my son has because his best friend emigrated there with his wife and family - she wanted to return to be near her family. My son liked it very much. And several of my friends have family out there who are loving the lifestyle.

Presumably you'll still stay on Gransnet? And there are other
Gransnetters out there aren't there? And some part-time jobs might come up.

I'm sure everyone here envies your bravery and determination and wishes you happiness.

You have obviously thought long and hard about this move and had assurance from absent daughter that she won't return to UK after you leave it. It is just a wobble, you'll be fine

absent, you aren't the kind of person (if I may be so bold) who makes decisions lightly. Think back to when you made the original decision to emigrate and why you made it. I remember your being very excited when you finally got your permission to stay in NZ. Does Mr Absent share your cold feet?

Greatnan you're not left wing are you?
I'd never have guessed!

absent life is for living and enjoying too and I am sure that the move to NZ will bring all kinds of adventures and experiences you could not have had in the UK. Natural to have cold feet.. We only moved 30 miles to be nearer our DDs and though there are some regrets the positives outweigh them enormously. Onward and upward!

"I spent most of last night wide awake trying to think of a single decision made in my life where I had chosen the right thing and came to the conclusion that I had invariably got it wrong. So now I have made another – huge – decision and whatever makes me think I have got it right this time?"

"Just because you fail once doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Galen

I think absent will be able to continue with her career, which is writing cookery books. By a wonderful coincidence, she is going to be living in the same village as my daughter. We have never met but we know we are on the same wave length, so I think we will become good friends.

The area of Nelson/Tasman is beautiful, with beaches and mountains and a great climate. I have now spent three holidays out there, six weeks each time. Nelson is a very lively town with lots of bars and restaurants and Richmond is smaller but very pleasant.

It is probably easier for me to relocate as I have already lived in Monaco, Brussels and seven different departments in France. I will be leaving one daughter, seven adult grandchildren and four great-grandchildren in England but the daughter and three of her children have cut off all contact with me. There are another three grandchidren in NZ.

I will miss the history and architecture of Europe, but I will be able to visit the ancient cultures of the Pacific Rim countries and there is good coral round the islands of the South Pacific!

Greatnan how amazing that absent is moving to where your daughter lives [astonished emoticon] isn't life strange.

You're going to be fine, absent - what an opportunity! You're changing your life's direction, and what a place to do it!
You can't change your mind now, anyway - I'm so looking forward to the get-together!

As far as making wrong decisions goes, the main regrets of my life have been when I have chickened out of opportunities offered. Coming from a very cautious family - long story - I have always chosen the safe path and often wonder how my life might have turned out if I had taken a few more chances. You never know till you try - and I think this is a brave and brilliant decision and I totally admoire you for NOT taking the "easy"path. I am sure you will never regret it.

absent, Men will always appear to be worrying more than their OHs. This is so they can offload a chunk on to someone else's overloaded jitters.
I would be lying awake with the heebie jeebies as well but that's only natural.

BTW. What made your daughter decide to go to NZ when she was only 17? A friend of mine's daughter married an Australian sheep farmer when she was only 19. It was all the rage at the time (remember Fergie's sister?)

absent the biggest {{{hug}}} and a huge class of wine....... chill see you Saturday xx

absent, my OH is getting on my nerves.Can I come?

Grannylin I do have one absolutely enormous suitcase but if they X-ray it …?

absent It's not about getting it right, it's just about cracking on and living your life. I have the feeling you've always done that, so you'll just be doing it some more, somewhere else.

Thanks grannies keep on holding me up please.

, absent xx

absent you will be fine. You are a strong, capable woman who will overcome any hiccups along the way as I am sure you have done lots of times before.

merlotgran It was lurve. She fell hook, line and sinker for a Kiwi who was living in a flat in the house opposite ours in London. They had a tiff, he went home, she sobbed her heart out for two days and then wandered into my office in the basement and said, "Muuuuuuuum, I was wondring… if I could go to New Zealand". So off she went the following week and has stayed ever since. I knew as I waved goodbye at Heathrow that she would never return to the UK to live but didn't start sobbing my heart out until she had disappeared from view and couldn't see me. In the long run it has had a happy ending, but the first marriage to the original Romeo didn't work out and they divorced not long after the birth of their son. Her second marriage is blossoming and happy and there are four more children.

Good morning, Absent - I am a bit scared too, but I have just looked at all the cons and decided the pros outweigh them and I am sure they do for you as well.
Nowhere is perfect and probably no relationship either, but you and I do not have unrealistic expectations so we will not be taken by surprise.

Absent you said last Sunday that you'd made so many decisions which seemed right but turned out to be wrong. How can you be absolutely sure of that? Your daughter ran off to NZ after a bloke she thought was perfect but that turned out to be a wrong decision, but it's turned out wonderfully for her and four children owe their existence to her first 'wrong' decision.
What would be worse is to sit here in the UK thinking all the time of what might have been, if only you'd gone.
New Zealand is a wonderful country - Enjoy!

I think you know that you're doing the right thing Absent otherwise you wouldn't have got this far! It's just last minute collywobbles. I wish I could be as daring/brave as you. By the time I ever decide on anything the moment has passed and I stick with the status quo. Note to self 'must try and be as positive and forward-thinking as Absent and Greatnan'

What a grand adventure!! good luck and best wishes

absent it's last minute cold feet, you didn't make this decision lightly. It's an exciting adventure, and it will be what you make it. The Grandchildren will get closer to you and it will be fun getting to know them,you are a stranger to them too don't forget. Go and enjoy ,and good luck.

Absentdaughter has been on the phone this morning arranging the childcare for when she starts her new job. Not strictly true but we did touch on it. She says the children are hugely excited especially as she has told them that they are going to live in a new house with grana. Wind-up merchant or what? Apparently the nearly five-year-old now starts virtually every sentence with "My grana…". Bless – he's fiercely possessive about his family. I'm feeling a bit more confident about things now, especially as she has finally got round to giving me the address of the house I shall be renting for the first three months.