Unintended insults

Eloethan A lady once wanted me to crown her lower front teeth.
I told her it wasn't a good idea and she would be wasting her money.
Unfortunately I then added, 'Why don't you buy yourself some nice clothes instead?' [

Jane

I'm glad you trained as a dentist not a therapist, I would guess you would have had a lot less clients.

I asked a teacher when her baby was due - she wasn't pregnant.

I think I might have posted this before. I had some very serious surgery in 1971 and was left with what I still think of as fairly hideous scars like a London Underground map across my belly. Sometime a little later in one of those communal changing rooms in clothes shops we had in those days, a complete stranger looked at me and asked, aghast, "Are those scars real?"

A work colleague (who was actually pretty ill with cancer) once said to me "You're lucky, when you feel rough you look rough"

It became a standing joke around the office.

Bless her, she's dead now.

Ex husband and I were heading to a fancy dress party where everyone was dressed to attend a horse racing party of the 1940s. Another couple were also heading to the party and my husband asked the woman if she was going dressed as a jockey. She did look like she had jodhpurs on and was one of the few people who hadn't dressed up. I wished at that moment the footpath had opened up and swallowed him. He looked very embarrassed when he realised it was just the shape of her legs.

I was at a works do with my hubby and we were talking to one of his workmates whom I had met before and engaged in conversation. He was with a woman I thought I had spoken to before and I was talking about her children, as they were there at the time of our first meeting.

I prattled on for a while and the woman put her hand up and said, "I'm sorry I am his wife and we don't have children, I think you believe me to be his b----y mistress". OUCH!

I put my foot in it today! Not quite an insult, but ...my dear old neighbour passed away on Monday after a long illness and I stopped in to commiserate with her daughter in law who has started packing up the house.

In conversation she said "MIL didn't like me at first, blamed me for the break up of her son's first marriage". I said something along the lines of "Oh dear, well you didn't ..." saw her face and finished lamely "... did you?" (the couple have adult children) and she replied "Yes I did, you can't help who you fall in love with, now can you". Oops.

grannyknot That was her fault, the way she said it was misleading. She should have said because I broke up .......

Eloethan you're right.

Eloethan No she shouldn't have – he had some responsibility for it too. You are expressing a naughty anti-feminist bias.

When my ex and I were first dating, he once told me 'in the dark you're not bad'!

asked a customer at work if she was pregnant..she wasn't. However in my defence I was selling herbal medicines that might be harmful in pregnancy so I always had to ask if I thought someone was. (Mind you, I just hope people read instructions on these things because many women could have been pregnant and not showing yet..!)

I was temporarily in charge of catering for a South African billionaire at his country house in Cambridgeshire. His girlfriend flashed a huge diamond ring under my nose and asked me if I liked her birthday present. I replied, 'Hang on, I'll get my glasses!!'

absent It was the person who originally said it who was taking the blame - but I get what you mean and I agree.

My sister-in-law had given birth and a few days earlier was asked when her baby was due. Oops!!! The person that asked was very red-faced afterwards

I was sitting having lunch with some people who I didn't know all that well and I enquired of the woman next to me who was the eldest, her or her brother (also at the lunch). She was quite upset because it turned out he is four years older than she is and she thought I was implying that she looked older than she was because otherwise I would have been able to tell by her comparatively youthful appearance.

I could see it preying on her mind for the rest of the afternoon.

When living in Cornwall, we paid a visit to a cattery to see whether it was good enough to care for our cat, Hamish Mactavish Cheeky-Boy. There was a lady in the greenhouse when we arrived. We introduced ourselves and she said, Follow me. As she invited us indoors I looked around and said...Oh, Hamish will really like it here. The lady then added that this was her home...the cats had kennels in the garden.

I have really curly unruly hair which has a mind of its own. When I first visited my then boyfriend's parents home we stayed for a week - they lived abroad. One night we were going out for a meal. We were all dressed up and I had done my best with my hair. When I walked into the lounge his Mum said 'mm, is your hair naturally all over the place?' I was mortified as I was trying to impress her but had to confess that yes it was! We did have a good laugh about it later on.

I was out with some friends from work when the wife of my boss mentioned that she had, a long while ago dated a man, known to the group, who was blind.

Another person quite innocently came out with the question, "Was he blind when he met you! Much hilarity.

My sister was staying with me after I'd had the hip replacement. A friend who had never met her before came to visit and asked if she was my daughter. She is 4.5 years younger and has no - or few - white hairs whereas I have plenty, but really... I was quite concerned about that friend's eyesight.

When my DD was born my them MIL asked how "you two made such a perfect baby"

woops slipped ^ should read "then"

I have hopefully stopped putting my foot in it with people. I was frequently saying, your father is waiting for you and it turned out to be her husband who was little older than her. Now if the question arises, I just say that man over there and that gets me out of all sorts of trouble.