Unintended insults

Before we were married, we were strolling around Trafalgar Square, when a drunk jumped on DH's back and thumped him lightly.

" You should be ashamed such an old man with such a young girl." I was 23 and Mr LD was 25! Nice one.

My sister is totally blind, but fully expects people to ignore this in their language. It is absolutely OK to use words like 'look' 'see' etc. And if asked what someone looks like, she would say something like 'I understand they are xyx' or would simply say 'no-one has told me'. There is no reason to change your decent normal rhetoric, in the company of people with a disability.

As for being taken to account, for the 'one arm behind my back' comment - the person whinging should be put in their place and told to back off. They were being utterly ridiculous.

When DID people start being so damn precious?

That's what I thought too Eloethan. I felt as if I'd fallen down the rabbit hole!

grannyactivist I'm all for being sensitive to other people's feelings, but that seems to me to be bordering on Monty Python territory.

I joined my aunt to help her clear a house that had belonged to an uncle (her brother) One of my uncle's neighbours asked me how my mother and I were managing. She is only 5 years older than me.

I was once in a meeting and described a particular challenge I'd faced by saying that I felt as if I'd had 'one arm tied behind my back'. I only just escaped being hauled before a disciplinary tribunal, but still had to attend a meeting with HR to explain myself! Seriously! I was told it was regarded as an 'affront' to people with only one arm to use that term. Fortunately I took a colleague with me whose dad actually does have only one arm and she told them they were nitpicking.

I don't think that's an insult of any kind. It's just a natural slip-up anyone could make who isn't used to being with blind people. All it needs is an "Oh, sorry, I forgot you're blind" or even: "Oh, sorry, daft question."

I was at a conference and there was a blind man there at the same time.
He spoke to me and said, "do you know where I can find Mrs xxxxx?"
I said, "I'm sorry, I don't think I know her- what does she look like?"

The minute I said it I realised I had dropped a huge clanger!
I am still embarrassed when I think of it.!

I was chatting to my friend about another woman. I said "she's our age, and still has long hair". Then I could have bitten my tongue as my friend had long hair too, and I'd stopped noticing!

Not necessarily insults but I have an alarming capacity for putting my foot in it. I was having a very heated debate with a friend in a wheelchair who had been paralysed as a result of a car accident when I triumphantly pointed out the weakness in his argument and added, "You haven't got a leg to stand on".

I have hopefully stopped putting my foot in it with people. I was frequently saying, your father is waiting for you and it turned out to be her husband who was little older than her. Now if the question arises, I just say that man over there and that gets me out of all sorts of trouble.

woops slipped ^ should read "then"

When my DD was born my them MIL asked how "you two made such a perfect baby"

My sister was staying with me after I'd had the hip replacement. A friend who had never met her before came to visit and asked if she was my daughter. She is 4.5 years younger and has no - or few - white hairs whereas I have plenty, but really... I was quite concerned about that friend's eyesight.

I was out with some friends from work when the wife of my boss mentioned that she had, a long while ago dated a man, known to the group, who was blind.

Another person quite innocently came out with the question, "Was he blind when he met you! Much hilarity.

I have really curly unruly hair which has a mind of its own. When I first visited my then boyfriend's parents home we stayed for a week - they lived abroad. One night we were going out for a meal. We were all dressed up and I had done my best with my hair. When I walked into the lounge his Mum said 'mm, is your hair naturally all over the place?' I was mortified as I was trying to impress her but had to confess that yes it was! We did have a good laugh about it later on.

When living in Cornwall, we paid a visit to a cattery to see whether it was good enough to care for our cat, Hamish Mactavish Cheeky-Boy. There was a lady in the greenhouse when we arrived. We introduced ourselves and she said, Follow me. As she invited us indoors I looked around and said...Oh, Hamish will really like it here. The lady then added that this was her home...the cats had kennels in the garden.

I was sitting having lunch with some people who I didn't know all that well and I enquired of the woman next to me who was the eldest, her or her brother (also at the lunch). She was quite upset because it turned out he is four years older than she is and she thought I was implying that she looked older than she was because otherwise I would have been able to tell by her comparatively youthful appearance.

I could see it preying on her mind for the rest of the afternoon.

My sister-in-law had given birth and a few days earlier was asked when her baby was due. Oops!!! The person that asked was very red-faced afterwards

absent It was the person who originally said it who was taking the blame - but I get what you mean and I agree.

I was temporarily in charge of catering for a South African billionaire at his country house in Cambridgeshire. His girlfriend flashed a huge diamond ring under my nose and asked me if I liked her birthday present. I replied, 'Hang on, I'll get my glasses!!'

asked a customer at work if she was pregnant..she wasn't. However in my defence I was selling herbal medicines that might be harmful in pregnancy so I always had to ask if I thought someone was. (Mind you, I just hope people read instructions on these things because many women could have been pregnant and not showing yet..!)

When my ex and I were first dating, he once told me 'in the dark you're not bad'!

Eloethan No she shouldn't have – he had some responsibility for it too. You are expressing a naughty anti-feminist bias.

Eloethan you're right.