Banter Bar.

Another pint Nonu.......no nuts tonight...in bowls or in the beer garden!

'evening all. I've just come up from the Little Field down the bottom, where that there yearly Combine Harvester Festival thing's being held. There's some very strange folk a-wandering around there, all of em wearing bright coloured wellies, all shiny and new looking. One very weird old bloke was walking round by the old pig pens, he was wearing a woman's blouse and had great big rubbery looking lips - he kept muttering on about looking for some satisfaction - so I've sent him over to your place Pete

Yes Goose...Mick is here now! Struggling with a pint....Thinks he's on a cloud or summat?...wants everyone to get off it?!

Oo-Arrrrr, that sounds like him. What about the rest of them weirdos? he was was a couple of mates - they all look like they could do with feeding up on some of glams special cup-cakes. Come to think of it, there was a stall set up on the field selling cup-cakes, and it looked suspiciously like glam was running at it

You know full well I do not drink pints Pete , and another thing keep your nuts to yourself

If you cannot offer champagne I do not want to know, I could be tempted with a margaretia though (Smile)

So that would be a pint of margaretia then?....

You are a cheeky brighter , but hey on second thoughts it would save asking for refills.

Bit quiet here tonite , are they all watching Tour de France , know they are classy , and sporty

Football on later (11pm) so some are 'pacing' themselves..... or on the hammocks....sleeping off Sunday 'lunch'....

Goose..a bloke called Kenny is looking for you...big fella..needs a shave....sent him down to the Farmers Arms.......

He's probably looking for Ruby

I've just passed them five strange old men walking down the lane Pete, they said to leave you a message - 'William, Michael, Keith, Ronald and Charles still can't find any satisfaction, so they've gone down to the Spar shop to get half a pound of brown sugar instead' don't mean a thing to me...strange lot

Had to throw them out last night Goose ...well after I woke them up again. One of them was talking about throwing the telly through the window.....he couldn't lift a bar-mat!......and a lot of powder in the 'Gents' needs hoovering up

We still need a cleaner for the bar.......I did find one last week...a very nice East European laydee........had to let her go because everything was taking ages to be cleaned........turns out the laydee was a Slovak.

Goose I did very well with my cup-cake stand sold out,and have taken orders for some more from a rather old wrinkly guy who was playing in some band ?? he liked the ones with the Brown Sugar on top and asked if I had any "special" cakes under the counter

Pete Powder? I'd have thought they've needed Pan Stick or concrete to cover the cracks in their faces. glam did he have floppy lips and skinny hips? if so he sounds like Michael to me. He seems very fond of brown sugar - I tried telling him that the Spar's own white variety was a lot cheaper but he didn't seem very interested

Charabanc is booked for the 'Banter Official Bank Holiday Annual Trip'...or 'Bobhat' for short! Names and preferred destinations on the notice board ...please!

A notice was also on there concerning the"Gentleman's Morning Drive'....( Full English....Comedian and Strippers)......Female to avoid confusion! Due to lack of interest this is now cancelled......I'm still going, purely for research, so the Bar will be self-service again on Saturday!

Gasps from the 'snug' ....sounds like 'goings on' ...

Lots of Pete, I'm getting numb bum syndrome!

I could do with a drink though if you're around, pretty please, [eyelash fluttering emoticon]

There's a large one with lime for you......you should try floor exercises between sets.....

Pete,Ella46,Think I could handle a Pimm's cup to celebrate....or a least try!

Pint of Pimm's coming up......Andy is only British until he gets knocked out ...then he's Scottish....

would you like a strawberry with that envious.....

I'll take whatever I can get...with that Pete.

cheers to Andy's win and to !

Pete, I like the sound of floor exercises, are you going to do them too?

Got to do it all over again on Friday!....bring your own cushions...