hen nights

DD1 had a sedate Chinese meal to which the mothers were invited and then they went into town - strictly no handcuffs etc. On the eve of the wedding, I made a special dinner for her and her three best friends who had all helped make and ice the [apparently] zillions of cupcakes that took the place of a traditional wedding cake.

DD2 and her friends cut a record (shock) and then went out on the town and I was politely asked to refuse my invitation so that her future MiL would also refuse hers. In our family people like her are termed 'no show without punch!'

DD3 ran away to get married so didn't have a hen do at all.

DS1 was married in Japan and the brides parents took us to an onsen just after the wedding as we had missed the build up.

DS2 married a witch!!

My husbands great niece , wedding in October, has already had her 'hen holiday' in Florida!!!! No idea who funded it all..maybe they are all working and it was their summer holiday but, whatever, they had a great time!

Yes quite gracesmum and then there are the weddings in exotic places. Ordinary weddings are pretty expensive to attend - clothes (maybe) transport, gift and often a night in a hotel as well.

The one thing I have reservations about though is the expense involved in some hen/stag nights/weekends. Trips to Prague,Barcelona now even apparently Las Vegas (!) can be the norm and some girls go for a spa weekend or similar. All of these can cost several hundred pounds - I couldn't have afforded it in my 20's or 30's and certainly couldn't afford it now - so what about the pressure to accept?

DS2 was on a stag weekend some time ago in Las Vegas. Long way to go, I felt, given the recovery time needed for jet lag, never mind hangovers!

My DD's future MIL and I were invited to DD's "hen do"- dinner at Ottlolenghi's in Islington. Good fun and a memorable meal - bit of harmless fun involving each guest bringing a wrapped pair of pants and DD had to guess who had donated them (I sewed a name tape from 20+ years ago) - she guessed! And we all donned masks with her fiance's face while she was at the loo so she came back to 25 x future SIL sitting round the table. The "younger" ones had been at a spoon carving workshop in the afternoon plus the consumption of some champagne and I know they went on to meet other friends in a pub after we left. But it was a lovely evening , no-one was embarrassed, the young women mostly in their late 20's/early 30's are not the type to go for pink fluffy handcuffs/cowboy hats/getting trollied or raucous. It was a fun day and night out - loved it!

Has anyone else noticed the trend for stag or hen weekends?

Last hen party I went to was DIL'. Lovely picnic at the top of the hill in Hampstead Heath and then a Bollywood dancing lesson (fuelled by some bubbly!) at which I was the only elderly person but great fun! I gave the subsequent clubbing a miss and retired gracefully. Good compromise!

Oh dear don't envy you but all I can say is make sure you have got some comfy shoes on and don't drink to much.

wisewoman that is exactly what we are doing when we go out prior to "wedding of the year" (well in our family anyway) future DIL her nana bridesmaids myself and my DD are going for a family meal and then the younger ones are off to meet up with FDIL's friends from school and do the party stuff.I will no doubt bore them ridgid about how perfect my boy is but hey I'm allowed he's my baby.

Is it not a two part affair? My DIL's hen party started with a meal for friends and more mature rellies, then the youngsters went off clubbing. It worked well. Maybe you can go for part of it.

Good advice Kitty. Never been to one for more years than I care to remember but they always seem to involve a disco. Can anyone explain why they need to be so loud? I left the wedding parties of both my niece and my nephew early as I couldn't stand it. Having tinnitus doesn't help but not being able to talk to people I might not have seen for ages is just awful. DD had a disco at her wedding but the decibel level was set by the property owners and it was not loud. I only remember people saying how nice it was to be able to enjoy the music and hear conversations.

jack In your shoes, I would plead insanity. It would take a straitjacket to get me within spitting distance of a hen party.

Instant advice - don't go!!!

What about swan night? Graceful, faithful, proud, beautiful, dignified.

OK, Maybe not!!!

Stag - noble beast with antlers, monarch of the glen etc
hen - well bit of a silly animal really, like the wood pigeon that flew straight at the kitchen window just now when I was washing up. I mean hens might be at best endearing but... well they hardly match up to old antler boy do they?
What about lioness night? Or bonobo night?

I'd rather be a hen than a princes!

I haven't been to a hen night in years but would like to. I like karaoke but not male strippers.

It is the terms that are demeaning. Why not prince and princess or even bride and groom? I'm sure people could think of better names

Why would it be demeaning ? it is only harmless fun in the modern tradition , we cannot always be living in the past .
Fair enough We did not have Hen nights but the chaps had stag nights .

why stag and hen? demeaning or what?

I have been to as few as possible and I didn't have a hen night before my own wedding either.

I went to one once. I felt like hiding under the table I was so embarrassed.
Ritual humiliation of young waiter (in quite posh hotel) was the last straw. He probably didn't mind but well I did - the group photo only reveals my left ear.
All a bit like forced fun?

I accidently met some women from work on a hen night and nearly got dragged in to it.
One aerobics class I went to had a few girls nights out plus Frank and a few other men.

Frank

Take earplugs! I went with some young teachers and hated the decibels in the wine bars/pubs..but depends what's happening..just go with the flow!