Back handed compliment.

Do you want to adopt her Ella46 she is driving me batty !

Ouch gillybob Very embarrassing for you. Is it a family habit? I can see how hurtful that sort of behaviour would have felt to you though.

My ex mother in law was pretty thoughtless and even quite spiteful with the things she said. I had a chuckle when my ex husband and his second wife travelled to the UK and she met MIL for the first time. Apparently MIL said to ex's wife, "you are a lot fatter than you look in your photos."

Ex's wife told me this herself and I was not surprised. Glad it wasn't me in line for the bitchy comments anymore.

My mum (who's 92) always tells everyone what a huge baby I was. (8 lb 4 ozs. - not that huge surely?). "Big boned" she calls it.

Another old favourite, after I'd had my hair done, was "it looks lovely at the back".

This has reminded me of my mother when I was a teenager - but we weren't called that - but anyway on Saturdays I got ready to out dancing and I had to walk through the living room to go out the back door. That walk and the inspection!
Mostly her comments on the new mini skirts and sack dresses were the last things I heard and it always made me feel plain and unattracive before I had even got outside.

margaret that's rather sad. It's a shame that parents don't always realise how much their careless remarks can affect a young person's self esteem.

gillybob that made me smile you could have been talking about my MIL when she was in hospital. She was deaf and refused to wear her hearing aids so shouted her insults very loudly.

But you can't win if you are a mother. Now we are supposed to say to little girls not how pretty they are but be interested in their achievements .wasnt there a thread about this? My DD has been in the UK buying the going back to school kit and I don't know what is in her mind but the clothes she has bought for DGD are hideous and unflattering.the child has so little for herself as most things are bought to pass on to the younger brother that she loves anything pink. DGD actually said her father would hate it because it was pink. Am I alone with the gritted teeth and the bitten tongue after the summer hols?

Back handed compliment I always hated was "oh you have a bonny face" This was usually after some comment about size as at the time I was over 20 stone. I'm now down to just under 13 stone and when I spoke to my mother on the phone the other day (we don't really talk much) I told her I had lost another 3 stone she said oh so have I you can have my old clothes. Needless to say I won't be making the trip up to Scotland to collect them. She always has to follow a compliment with a put down. So much so if someone says I look nice I'm waiting on the "but" lol.

hahahahah! gillybob what a laugh!

My MiL was as deaf as a post and I used to take her to the audiology clinic.
one day there was an undoubtedly fat woman there who sat over two chairs. My MiL who was a sparrow of a woman and wore her thinness like a badge of honour said in her loud voice ' She is fat, not seen such a fat one for a longtime. I can say that because she is deaf and can't hear me'
The woman was accompanying her deaf child to the clinic.

When I worked at M&S it always used to worry me when customers recognised me away from work. Minus the hideous black uniform and awful hat, and decently made up I always felt it should have taken them longer to work out who I was.

My god gilly bob what a rude lady!

Can't believe anyone would say that but suppose she meant it a compliment ?! In roundabout way.