Do you belong to any other forums?

Gracemum, I wish i could think of it as you do, it terrifies me, have a full blown phobia

I love snow.

When you wake up and the world is totally silent outside because only a few intrepid souls are venturing out and the snow muffles the sound of the wheels anyway, the bright blue sky and the glare from the reflected ight off the snow, the way my garden looks no worse than anybody ele's because the weeds are well and truly hidden and the excuse (if ever I needed one) to hunker down with a good book/DVD or the laptop.
It helps of course if it falls in the right season!

Yes thatbag, smelly , I am quite use to everyone disagreeing with me on this , most unusual I know but I can smell the horrid stuff

Gransnet is the only general forum I go on. The rest, believe it or not, are to do with politics.
I actually stopped looking and contributing for over a year because someone said something unpleasant to me. Then a month ago, I thought "What the hell!" and started adding my sixpennorth again. If people do not like what I say that's their problem, they do not need to read it.
Sometimes what I write looks like a cosy chat between a few people because we have something in common, but on the whole I do not like PMs because that can upset others who are not in the loop.
PMs should always be kept private so others on the forum cannot be made to feel that they are being left out. If this makes sense.
I agree with Flickety about the grammar and spelling. That's important to me. Oh, and I do not like swearing.

I been on several forums but got tired of them because every thread seemed to end up as either a slanging match or a cosy little chat between two or three people with no encouragement to anyone else to join in.

So far most of the Gransnetters seem to be reasonable people with interesting things to say. Most of the arguments seem to be genuine misunderstandings and most people seem to be happy to agree to differ.

Galen

Snow? Smelly?

Jess, I think everyone should accept we are all individuals who meet up here, different values, different opinions , different lives , different sense of humour, it's the way the world wags , and it is a lovely world even though a troubled one. I enjoy reading different opinions, and speaking of different opinions then just wait untill there is talk of what I call the S word, that white, cold, smelly stuff which comes from the sky in winter and some love , eeeeewwwww

Well said FlicketyB
Galen Have some and think of your cruise
Kitty I don't avoid threads because I'm afraid to post on them - some I avoid because I'm not interested in the subject, some I read but don't post on because I can't contribute anything to the discussion, and some I read and don't post on because I don't want to get involved in the unpleasantness. That's a choice I make, but it's not based on fear.
I agree with Penstemmon that responding to the issue, not the personality, is the important thing. If everyone did that, there would be far less unpleasantness.

I joined Gransnet, and remain a member because it is so polite and reasonable and Gransnetters have enough grasp of English grammar and spelling to post contributions that are comprehensible and rational, whether I agree with them or not.

Compared with other forums I have dipped into with their illiterate posters abusing other contributors and incapable of expressing any opinions in a coherent or reasonable way, Gransnet is a glorious oasis of calm rationality.

Of course some issues may raise some people's temperatures, Gransnet postingwise, but isn't that part of normal life? My family regularly have heated discussions on all sorts of issues, but without any personal rancour or repercussions. That is what I see happening on Gransnert., heated discussions but no personal animosity.

Thanks

These are for everybody!

to cheer you up after an unpleasant time at work galen

I'm afraid when I joined (at my DD's suggestion) I jumped in with both feet.
I was not even IT literate (still aren't)
I've enjoyed my time with you all, but do hate it when it gets confrontational.
I've come home after been vituperativey sworn at by an unsuccessful claimant, who really upset me and the last thing I want is more nastiness!
So please my very dear friends, lets not fight!

On a forum as in anywhere else we are all equal. Being new or or an established member does not diminish a posters right to express a view!

I suspect people who are quick to fire a bitchy riposte /take offence/ piss take / disrupt/peace-make are like that in real life too! I avoid people in real life who I find unpleasant /irritating etc as much as possible and try to do so online. Sometimes there are issues that are very important to me and I will respond even if the tone of the thread is combative and getting snipey!

My golden rule is to do my best to respond to the issue not the personalities.

Of course most new members play themselves in like that annie - just a few, present company excepted, seem to barge in with all guns firing, in a rather overwhelming way, that can sometimes disrupt the balance of the site. Gn is normally welcoming to new members I'd say.

A very sensible post, PRINTMISS.

Have just read through all this, and wonder really what it is all about? Gransnet has a wide audience, and there will always be those who agree or not, and some who probably express themselves in what may appear to the reader to be aggressive, but was not intended. I am always a bit suspicious of the written word, as it can be interpreted in so many different ways, and yet I am a prolific letter-writer! I just like to read through the various threads, sometimes I am sad at the stories people have to tell, and for others I am happy. Quite often, I feel like saying 'Oh! for goodness sake get on with it!', but of course I don't. The point is, of course, that you do not have to read what everyone says, you can stop whenever you like.

There always seems to be someone on GN who is either accusing "old" members or "new" members of being confrontational.

I would hope that I wouldn't be so sensitive as to let either point of view prevent me from joining in a discussion.

Jess, hadn't thought of doing that at WI, I do understand that but what does not seem to be understood is the fact that I and other new posters have 'lurked' which is the same as sitting quietly and taking it all in if at a meeting, yet still comes the suggestion that new posters should remain on the sidelines, makes one feel a new poster should report in everyday with ' I am reading and learning ' for x number of weeks or months . And to claim it is mostly new posters causing upsets leaves the question - how new is new.

Myself , I have always allowed for new posters to make errors, it's what the less than perfect do

I most certainly would not. Takes all sorts...

Jess, I would love to attend that W.I. meeting!

sel that is why I did not say everyone. But anyone observing GN for a few days would notice that it is not usual behaviour to start multiple threads on the same afternoon for instance.
annie group norms are the unwritten agreements between the vast majority on how group members conduct themselves. They evolve naturally.
In the workplace they are things like offering people sitting nearby a tea if you are making one or taking each other's phone messages.
You would not go to your first meeting of the WI and start effing and blinding , I expect, until you had sat through a couple of meetings and discovered that this appeared to be something that was quite acceptable to the other members.

kitty