How have your children/grandchildr en embarrassed you?

We were at a steam railway station when my DD aged about 12 went into the ladies, followed by her 6 year old brother. She came out saying "You go and get him mum - he won't put it down and he's putting it in his sock" I was intrigued, I went into the ladies to find him shoving the plastic tampon holder down his sock. "What on earth are you doing with that?" "It'll be good for building my models" he replied. No answer to that.

While in the local cinema my 9 year old wanted to go to the loo. The toilets were just outside the auditorium, I had two other children with me, younger, so said to him to be double quick. He didn't return, I was worrying and asked a man who had his son with him to please go and check. He came back with my son saying that he had unfortunately lost his trainer down the S Bend. My son had been trying to flush the toilet and stood on the seat, lost his trainer.

The first year I let my children stay up for Midnight Mass at Christmas our parish priest decided for some unfathomable reason to give a long theological sermon rather than the short Christmas and the family one.
We were sitting in the front row and about 15 minutes in DD turned to me and said very loudly 'When is he going to stop? I am tired.' Afterwards several members of the congregation came up to say what a delight it was to hear her say what they had been thinking!

When I was 5 my Gran took me to an Anglican church service. After about 3/4 hour I announced loudly "I'm not coming here again".

Looking at the condom one. When we were little my bro and I lived in a house with my fathers surgery in it.
One day we found the parents condoms. We were having great fun filling them with water nod dropping them on the arriving patients.
Father was not amused!

I was in church with my children and husband and the rest of the Family clan (about about 8 in total ) it was some occasion , I can't remember what, when my mother arrived. She didn't normally attend so my ds in a loud piping voice said 'MaMa in CHURCH?!!!!!!!!!!!
She never came again!

The dreaded news book GD had to write a sentence beginning with each letter of the word SEASIDE, when she got to D she wrote " Daddy was drinking alkerhol on the beach " We thought it was hilarious but DS was less than impressed. She didn't really know what alcohol was until we explained.

sorry I meant Aka

Don't Ana! I'm feeling the shame all over again! It was just a game, I promise!

(I'll stop digging now. It's a miracle the children weren't all removed at that point)

I hasten to add he wasn't tied to his bed all night!

That has reminded me of going to a parents' evening where my son had written ' last night my dad tied me to my bed'

It was absolutely true - we had just bought him a new bed with a metal frame and he was so excited he asked us to tie him up. Not a good situation for a pair of social worker parents to find themselves in

Deedaa's message has reminded me of going to DD1's first parent evening and reading in her News book "Our cat has fleas" all spelled correctly.I was so proud!

I remember going to a parents' evening and opening my daughter's "News" book to see "Mummy crashed the car AGAIN" in large letters. (A minor bump with a bollard) I came to an agreement with her teacher - we wouldn't believe anything we heard about school if she didn't believe anything she heard about us.

Being a naturalist and animal lover I was mortified when - on taking a group of Wildlife Watch children to see the seals in North Norfolk my eldest son (not the best at appropriateness) thought it funny to stride along the jetty saying 'Right! who has the clubs?' I was NOT amused, he was not a child but 18. It was the last time he was invited to come out with the watch group.

I did once have a class of 11 year olds that confided in my that Gary had shagged a girl behind the gym after youth club but that his condom had fallen off. I was not surprised as he looked decidedly pre-pubsecent to me.

I've no idea, anno. They would have had to Sellotape them on! Probably thinking about water bombs, maybe?

Swapping for more exciting things, like Swiss army knives?

I hesitate to ask this, when, but what were they using the condoms for?

In the 80s, All probation officers were trained up about HIV/AIDS and given shed loads of condoms to hand out to our clients, many of whom were injecting drug users. I kept quite a variety in my brief case, as I would leave handfuls for those clients on home visits. One evening, I was tidying up after the children had gone to bed, and as I shifted my 9 year old son's Spider Man wallet, it fell to the floor with a clunk. I found a Swiss army knife inside. He explained next morning that he'd done a swap with a boy at school. I phoned the head and got a call back later to say my little boy was dishing condoms out in the playground! Fortunately, she saw the funny side and no other parents said anything.

A child I know of announced that her dad was on drugs. He was a drugs intelligence officer in the Police.

About 20 years ago I was the "victim". When collecting door-to-door for a charity, the door was opened by a small boy . "Is your Mummy there?" I asked.Said boy yelled "Mum, there's an old lady wants to see you." She was embarrassed but I had a chuckle. I was only in my forties at the time. Don't know what he would say about me now !

Not my grandchildren, but my cousin's. Her SIL got a job in the prison service as an instructor in the workshops. At the parents' evening the teacher whispered to her DD how sorry they all were to hear about her husband. When she looked blank the teacher said"Well, you know, R* told us that her daddy had gone to prison".

When DS2 was 7, we went on a holiday to Ireland. H1, my mother, DS1 took the night ferry and were invited to breakfast at the parents of my sister's Irish inlaws. (got that - we are all weary, nice traditional elderly Irish couple that we had not met before, Irish breakfast by the fire)
DS2 very quiet, shy, sleepy and unforthcoming for first half and hour.
Then he suddenly comes to life and decides to tell... an Irish joke.
Collapse into embarrassed giggles by the rest of us and mystification by the hosts who probably had no clue what he was on about.
DS2 still has a sense of humour that is, on occasions, inappropriate ...

Our regular postman is not helpful,to say the least, and DH and myself have always privately referred to him in a name suiting his personality.
During the summer hols we had 4 GC loaded into our car ready to take to the park and along our front path walks the said man. Four little faces pressed against the windows and four little fingers pointed,and in unison they shouted "It's miserable postie!".
He never even turned his head.