Trapped in a virtual world

And you know what? I really wouldn't be without this virtual world! Mostly.

All I can add is have you tried Candy Crush Saga on FB? Then you might as well give up real life altogether!

Just what I was thinking; I must have an internet free day so I actually 'do' things. Went on a walk today but couldn't wait to get back and see what was happening on here. If I ever learn how to do Facebook I'll be beyond help.

Don't talk to me about Candy Crush Saga lol

I was thinking about this the other day, and wondered if it is our substitute for the variety of faces and gossip we would have had if we had had to do all of our shopping every day at a myriad of small local shops, as our parents did. I see friends a couple of times a week, talk to my DCs most day via facebook, see DH every day but he often gets up early and goes to bed early - and I hate the thought of being glued to tv shows all day. I love being able to dip into chats, obtain knowledge and news, and I have made some very good real life friends from it which would have been difficult in real life, because we keep on moving and live in the sticks. As an addiction, it is one I am very happy to have acquired. I think there was a survey a while ago where women were asked what would they rescue from a fire, and they answered, their computer!

I have just taken the plunge and joined Facebook. Up until now Gransnet was my only virtual world. As I still have so many friends and family members in the UK, it seemed a good idea – not that I have really got the hang of it yet. What I hadn't anticipated was contact from friends and family elsewhere in the world, people I haven't been in touch with for a very long time and, in some cases, never. It's all rather exciting – and a bit terrifying.

I am trying to ration how often I access Gransnet. As someone who could win a Gold medal in the procrastination Olympics, Gransnet is just too available. I am trying for three times a day, like meals. Some days I succeed, others I don't. It rather depends what I am trying to avoid getting stuck into.

I took the plunge a couple of weeks ago! Still really haven't got the hang of it.

What surprised me was the amount of photographs and names of people I don't know. Got a bit panicky and started to think, do these people know me, how do they know me, I don't know them!

I did recognise someone, a friend of DH's, so tapped his photograph and was amazed to read lots about him. Feeling on safe ground I tapped into him another coulple of times looking for some clues to,help me.. A few days later as he was chatting to DH on the phone, he said "by the way, R, your wife is stalking me" . Haven't touched it since, but I will persevere.

Facebook doesn't do it for me, thankfully. I find that after the initial excitement/thrill of finding someone that you haven't had contact with for a while, and a brief catch-up, in most cases it pretty soon becomes apparent why you lost contact with them in the first place!

Also, in the early days of FB when it was still a novelty, I got in a bit deep with an old school friend of husband's that I have never met, because I very quickly struck up a close but distant friendship with him (he lives on another continent), and, er, I found myself responding to mild flirtations even, and husband was not happy when friend wrote an email saying he wished he'd met me first! LOL. Reader, I ended it.

I don't do computer games!

We had a bad experience with Friends Reunited. DH came across his best friend from school, we had lost touch with him soon after we were married so we invited him over to catch up on the last 40 years. Big Mistake! He had split from the very nice wife we used to know and was more or less an alcoholic. Apparently he had met another woman on line and moved in with her. She was also a drinker and he found her dead in bed one morning! The whole experience was deeply depressing and he didn't seem any keener to meet again than we were.

Do you have to put photos on Facebook? I don't know how it works at all.

Facebook is a step too far for me. I'd never leave my computer! Plus, I think it can cause a lot of trouble between friends and families if you're not careful.

Another who doesn't use Facebook. My DD doesn't either which always surprises her friends as she is up to speed with everything technical and uses Skype to keep in contact with friends afar. I switch the pc on once at the most twice a day but I limit my time. With my time 'saved' I read, knit, talk to my OH. But thank goodness for emails, online shopping and more..

Tegan You don't have to do anything in particular on Facebook, but it is very tempting to put on pictures of a nice holiday, or a meal out, or grandchildren, and to exchange comments and pictures with someone just as we do on Gransnet.

You can "share" posts that you see on other Facebook pages onto your own page, so jokes, photos, links to interesting websites, all kinds of things, get passed on. And you can see the names of the friends who have linked up with a friend of yours, so you can go from one person to another. If you get in too deep you could spend your entire life chatting and reading stuff and looking at stories that others have put on.

You need to know where to stop. Some people seem to post whenever they change their socks, complete with pictures of every sock they have ever possessed. Not to mention the photos of them getting blotto (people, not socks)

Oh heck; it's a bit like cocaine....don't want to do it but have this terrible curiosity to find out what it's like, whilst knowing that I'll get addicted ...

Just say No.

Facebook is like a gossipy friend , I can see what my children and grandchildren have been up to and occasionally will comment but generally I just read and look through pics they've put on.. there are family and friends I hardly see but I can catch up by just reading if I want to or send them private messages only they can see.. you can do as much or as little as you want and as long as you set your privacy how it suits you there is nothing to fear.. and if you don't like it you just delete yourself..

When you have family far away its a godsend and I am thankful too that the mother of my newest grandson keeps me up to date with regular messages and pics of him.. otherwise he would be a stranger to me as my son isn't the best at keeping in touch..

It's brilliant for staying in touch with family, but there are many options to choose from and it takes a while to learn how to keep your privacy, so it's best to take things slowly. You can stay friends with someone, but can block them rather than unfriending them if you find them intrusive, for example. that way you don't hurt their feelings. Or you can choose what sort of posts you receive from them - I choose not to receive photos from one because she is now divorced and all her photos are of her at nightclubs and I can't bear to see her making such a fool of herself at her age! Another one has joined every society in the world known to man for missing, maimed or homeless dogs so I have chosen to only receive 'important' posts from her. But's it's brilliant for staying in touch with close family, and if your computer is powerful enough you can also use it for skyping - to talk to your family, use the 'chat' (which is also the private messaging service but pops up in a different place) facility and you can see if they are available for calls. I have very few photos on mine, and I have friends who have none at all, it's up to you.

Some people choose to have their privacy setting set to Public, they are the ones that I am wary of posting anything private on. You can't easily tell what setting they are on, though. Until you discover that your mother-in-law is suddenly posting on your friend's page, fortunately just BEFORE you were about to refer to her in a slightly rude way...

Whatever you say on Facebook ,I am told, is there forever somewhere even if you delete it.

I love my ipad to bits and spend far too much time on it. (Candy Crush level 410).
I did sort of wonder though when the family came for half term and there we all were, Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Mum and two granddaughters all glued to our ipads.
I was so pleased when DH got his ipad for his birthday and there were no more ipad wars, but now I get cross because I have to share the bandwidth (and there isn't much of it here).

mamie - how on earth did you reach level 410!! I have been stuck on 140 for ages and keep asking myself why I bother as its the most pointless, frustrating game I have ever played - but I still keep trying!

As to Facebook - I wasn't keen on the idea at first, but I love it now as I can see photos of my family and friends who live abroad, and keep in touch with a lot of friends old and new. All my Facebook friends are people I actually know - I never accept requests from someone I don't know. I also take care not to post anything personal or controversial. I can see how it isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I live quite an isolated life so for me I enjoy the interaction. Am definitely addicted to my iPad - we had a power cut for 6 hours on Saturday and I nearly went nuts! Got the dreaded 'C' cards written though

I think my SiL got me started on Candy Crush in about February. I remember that 165 was hard and 350 took me two months.
You could say it is a reflection of the fact that rural France can be very boring at times!

Well I am very impressed! Living in Malta can also be somewhat tedious, so I know what you mean!

Don't like Facebook at all. But I love to Skype.