STOP IT NOW!

If you want to buy a present for someone who has had to leave their home because of domestic violence, you can do this on John Lewis. Families often turn up in refuge shelters with just a few plastic bags of clothes.

Refuge have a gift list at John Lewis again this year, which can be found at John Lewis Giftlist

The giftlist number is 564013 and the list closes on 18 December.

I used to love doing stocking for the grown up DD's - I know their taste in smellies/make up/books/colours/Liz Earle products etc and it was great fun BUT each stocking would come to well over £50 worth and the first year after I retired (and DH's ESA was stopped) and also we were not all together on Christmas morning was the year I decided that as I had retired, maybe Santa had to retire too. I had warned them in advance, but was quite sorry as they used to pile on to each other's beds, compare contents, often swap things round!!
It is too easy to get carried away and they know I love them every bit as much.
I was discussing the whole present/card thing with a friend (who is still teaching) on Thursday and she was moaning that "you have to spend at leat £200 on each child "(both married and in own houses and earning well) -that was when I realised we were not exactly on the same page!!

gracesmum, I have suddenly realised what my sons meant when he said to me that he had an unmaterialistic childhood. We could probably just afford £200 on each child, but our present giving has never been on that scale, stockings get filled at Poundland and the total value of the other presents is in tens of £s per person. We give to immediate family and other family we are close to and most will only get £10 or £20 spent on them, but I do my best to make sure the gift fits and will be enjoyed.

This friend (who to be fair is generous with everybody) plans to send cheques to her DS/DIL, DD /SIL for them to buy a present for the other half - or indeed something for themselves - where is the pleasure in that? In the days when our DDs were starving students things were different, but now it will be a pleasure to choose something special for my secret santa recipient. I am so looking forward to having them all here, looking forward to cooking in advance and generally providing a happy time for us all - who knows what the future will bring so I feel we have to make sure of those special "golden days"

I think this is a very good thread and I agree with your sentiments Phoenix. I think Christmas presents are for children, we in this country have such an over the top approach to the whole thing. I hate the way it all starts as early as September and gets cranked up until it's complete frenzy in the final run up. It seems to get more excessive every year if only we could dampen it down a bit, just too much pressure to spend shed loads of money. We have a lot of birthdays in our family in December, including my own, so Christmas time, I'm happy to get something like a book. I constantly tell my children not to spend more than a tenner on either of us. As others have said it's a coming together time and it's only two days for heaven's sake.

We are going to be in Argentina and Brazil in December coming home a couple of days before Christmas day so it will be interesting to observe what their attitude to Christmas is.

If anyone can suggest a country that goes more overboard than the Uk I'd be interested and amazed.

USA does!

I limit the spending to around £15 per child (it sometimes creeps up to £20) With 11 grandchildren this has to be but if I had all the money in the world I would still not go mad. I have friends and one or two of my children spend around £100 - £150 per child for the 'main' gift then more besides. My youngest DD bought us all Oxfam gifts the other year. DDH and I received a goat, my youngest DS had a pile of manure and the other children received books and pencils (all for African Relief) Only one son was not happy about this - and it wasn't the pile of manure son - he loved it.

I like to choose the right toy for the right person. I do get a lot of pleasure when choosing gifts. I have, some years, made up small hampers of my children's favourite foods, some home made and some small jars of favourite chutney or mustards etc.

You reckon gagagran - my trip to California in december few years back did not confirm this impression. Lights on houses were popular.
When my Californian friend visited us at Xmas with young children they were amazed by all the gift giving.
I have noticed that:
Their main family get together is Thanksgiving not Xmas.
Xmas only lasts 1 -2 days for most people, not over a week
They don't have the culture where people have boozy office parties and etc etc for weeks before (and sometimes after)
What is other people's impression of the states - it is difficult to know from the movies which always have enormous trees and rosy cheeked carol singers. And of course snow.

JessM - we spent Christmas in Denver a couple of years ago and it was definitely not as overdone as in the UK.

Another thing is that they have 'Black Friday' the day after Thanksgiving where they have huge discounts on everything, so that is when most people seem to get their Christmas shopping done. The sales start at 10pm on Thanksgiving and people 'shop till they drop' all night long! There are some terrific bargains to be had if you don't mind fighting your way around the stores!

Here in Malta, Christmas is still more of a religious festival and only lasts for one day. Everything is back to normal on Boxing Day, although they do make a big thing about New Year.

And what about clothes? The magazines and shops are full of glitzy little red or black numbers as if one could not possibly wear anything else over the festive period. As if !! I always plan to change into somethiing a little bit special for Christmas Dinner and regularly forget and it's all I can do to take my apron off!
Maybe a Onesie is the answer?

I too have been in USA reasonably near to Christmas, late October time, I got the impression Christmas festivities are dampened down somewhat by Thanksgiving that assumes great importance over there. The Malls we visited did have Christmas trees up though. When we went to Mexico in December some years ago, being a Catholic country we noticed quite a lot of nativity settings around, a bit like the ones you might see in a church.

I have been Stateside for several years in a row and it always seems they make a big deal of Christmas. Even though it doesn't go on as long as ours does. They certainly do not have Boxing Day!!
Perhaps some of our American friends could enlighten us ?

We as a family ALWAYS dress up for Christmas .
It is part and parcel for us . We love it !

My brother once gave my mother a 'goat' (charity present) instead of a present she could open but was quite content to accept any presents he received. I just felt this was the wrong way round and if he wished to donate to charity it should have been him who should have asked for a goat.
I have nothing against this type of present as long as the recipient is happy with the arrangement.

Feel a bit chastened with all the posts saying USA is less Crimbo-mad than UK. I based my suggestion of USA on a December weekend in New York with Santas everywhere, wonderful lights, ice-skating and mega displays in all the stores. I was blown away but thought it all very OTT compared with my little town's efforts!

I think it is up to each of us to make Christmas our own, embracing the aspects which bring us joy and pushing aside (or at least minimising) the parts we find stressful or distasteful. For me the latter includes excessive emphasis on food preparation and gift giving/receiving which involves non-surprises, cash vouchers or goats.

Christmas in Australia is ridiculously commercialised and induces a kind of social mania. Being the end of the school year and the beginning of the ubiquitous long summer holiday adds to this hysteria, which starts in October. I believe it is up to the individual to stand firm against this sometimes overwhelming pressure and make Christmas our own.

A few weeks ago I visited our city's major shopping centre (to buy a non Christmas related item) and felt depressed as I nursed a cup of tea in the food court, watching people hurrying past me clutching rolls of wrapping paper, huge boxes of electrical goods and multiple Christmas toy catalogues while muted but definitely Christmassy music wafted palely around us. The shoppers ALL wore looks of grim stress and time pressure, with not one showing the delicious indulgence of leisurely gift hunting which accompanies my (December) Christmas shopping.

I was feeling quite depressed in the midst of this maelstrom until the distinctive sound of a brass band swelled toward me. To my delight two elves strode into the food court, booming Joy to the World into the miasma of greasy chips and strained credit cards via a saxophone and tuba. For a few minutes I was transported into MY Christmas world - organic music, fairy tales and shared joy. My delighted smile and grateful applause won me gracious bows from the elves, while all around me my fellow shoppers sped past, ignoring these musical harbingers of seasonal delight.

I continued my visit with a lifted spirit, humming carols and feeling the first stirrings of Christmas anticipation. Bring it on!

What do you dress up as Nonu?

Onesies .....?

If you need a major boost to your Christmas spirit, watch this short but joyful
video. This is Christmas!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ylsBNWofns&sns=em

Thank you NanRuth that little film has set me up for the day ahead.