Made to feel uncomfortable

Some parents are just OTT. If the mother didn't want the child talking to people she should have told her not to talk to strangers.

It's sensible for a parent to take some precautions but this is absolutely ridiculous and her behaviour quite uncalled for. As everyone should now know, children are more at risk from those within their own families and friendship groups than anyone else.

Silly woman! My grandchildren are welcome to say 'hello' to people when they're with adults and are distracted elsewhere if they choose someone who doesn't want to respond, or they get a bit too familiar with them. It's not you!

I'm not surprised you felt uncomfortable. While I can understand parents being careful these days, that mother was completely out of order.
It's a sad world if we can't just respond if a child says hello. There is an
awful lot of over-reaction these days and it is a pity.

Rude! What's the betting the mother was sitting there engrossed in her mobile phone...

And small children wandering around in an environment where there are lots of hot drinks spooks me out.

Nothing for you to feel guilty about, just a rather silly mother. I feel sorry for the child.

Silly woman! We often take DGC to a cafe and they wander about a bit and charm everyone they meet by saying hello - we just keep a watchful eye from a distance.

I always thought that "Stranger Danger" was a dreadful slogan - what message dos this send out to the children about the world? I know there are dangers and we need to prepare them to behave sensibly, but the idea that every stranger is a danger is pernicious and unhealthy.

It equates with the idea that all men are rapists until proven otherwise - what an insult to them!

Hopefully the little girl will remember the nice lady who smiled and said hello.

She was probably overreacting to the fact that she hadn't, herself been keeping an eye on the child. The other day I had a child in front of me who kept standing facing backwards on an escalator. As we got towards the end I kept saying to her 'you must now face forwards' [didn't dare touch her, heaven forbid]. She just about turned round in time and her mother who was way in front of her rushed over telling her that was 'very dangerous'. I said to the mother 'I have been telling her, y'know'. Maybe we should start a gransnet campaign to go up to every woman with a small child, either walking ot in a pushchair that aren't speaking or interacting with the child, but have their ears/faces glued to a phone instead. It annoys me almost as much as people who do it when they're driving. Grrr

I am afraid I too often make a nuisance of myself have no qualms about talking to mums and small children (usually saying how lovely the child is and how I miss seeing my DGC!) and occasionally I get a cool reception but am I bovvered? I also smile at children and say Hello, particularly if they have made eye contact - and I am so sorry this silly Mum made you feel uncomfortable. We must guard against being over sensitive - like feeling gulty when you walk through the green channel at Customs without anything dodgy, but they give you funny looks? I am not saying you were over sensitive, BTW but it is often in our nature as older women to feel something is our fault when it da*n well isn't.

I often have a chat with toddlers sitting in a trolley in a checkout queue. No parent has ever objected. If it's a non-talking baby, we communicate in smiles and waves! Other customers probably think, 'silly old bat', but I'm sure the bored child appreciates it.

It's awful we probably all think twice before we smile at children nowadays. I always remember the case of the small child who walked out of their nursery and was later found to have drowned in a nearby pond. Lots of drivers had seen the child but they had been too worried to be seen stopping their cars to speak to them.

I would grab a child if it was in a public place - you do occasionally see escaped toddlers heading off down the pavement - try to herd them into a doorway first strategy. Grabbing would be second. Lost kids in supermarkets - encourage them to shout MUMMY at the top of their voices.

I am afraid that recently I deliberately ignored a crying, temporarily lost child in a supermarket. I could easily have escorted her to Customer Service but I was afraid of being accused of stealing her. A sad world.

Yep! GUILT on the part of the 'mother'. Silly woman.

not a pleasant experience for you Sunseeker !

Thanks for all the replies, I did wonder whether I was being over sensitive! The mother was with a couple of other young women (neither of them had a child with them) and they all glared as I walked out.

I do sometimes smile and say hello to a child sitting in a trolley in a supermarket PROVIDED Mum is there. I often see kids sitting in parked trolleys and I have no idea where Mum is, then I don't speak to the child.

It is a sad society when we are wary of speaking, or even helping, a small child.

B****y cheek! No manners themselves, ignore the child, and condemn you for acknowledging a friendly greeting. And if you feel embarrassed and slink out then you risk looking guilty. If they accused you of stealing a purse, you could be indignant, but such a vague suspicion is difficult to counter.

If I were feeling confident (not always the case) and had been in that situation, I would like to think that I would have paused at their table and said - loud enough to be heard by others in the cafe -

"Excuse me interrupting your chat, let me introduce myself.
While I was sitting drinking my coffee and reading my paper, your child wandered by and said hello to me. I smiled back and said hello, then went back to the paper. I have three grandchildren of my own, and much as I like children, I don't need another.

Nor do I need to be treated as a potential kidnapper for politely returning a greeting. I can give you my name and address if you would like to get me officially checked out. If not, please don't label me to all the customers in this room as a danger to children as you are now doing"

To do that would need some gall, though! We should be more assertive. why put up with it?

There's being careful and there's being rude! Nasty woman - poor little girl.
I spoke to a Dad carrying a smallish baby in our village shop last week, never seen him before - must be new to the village or only gets sent out at weekends for the paper. Anyway, I had a little chat to the baby as you do, and Dad glared at me as if I were invading his space - not so much as a smile or a reply on behalf of the child. If he carries on like that I can't see him managing village life for very long (probably a townie who can't stand the smell of cows or the sound of church bells ringing either )

I am sure I have boredtold you all about the time in Edinburgh I grabbed a baby as it was determinedly crawing across the pavement towards the kerb - and not far off reaching it! I couldn't believe my eyes! There was no sign of a Mum until a young woman burst out of a phone box - bit like Superman- and rushed towards us, suitably contrite and grateful. Her baby had apparently crawled under the gp at the bottom of the phone box and she hadn't even noticed!!!

Would you believe I meant gap and not General Practitioner or even GrandParent !!!

GM
My Mum had a similar experience many years ago on a country lane; drove round a corner to find a crawling baby in the middle of the road who had escaped from a garden. In this case, the mother wasn't 'bovvered', although my Mum was and had to compose herself for some time before being able to continue her journey!

Gally that's just brought back a scary moment I had, with my two DC in the car aged 4 and 2. I rounded a corner going down a very steep and twisty country lane, with high hedges on either side to find an enormous fierce bull blocking the whole lane and coming towards me. Panic! I had to reverse back up and round tight bends praying nothing else was coming down until I got back to the main-ish road I had turned off. It was the days before mobile phones (1975) so I knocked on the nearest door and asked them to phone the police and the local farmer then, shaking like a leaflet (as Vincent Simone puts it ) I went back home another way.

Sorry to digress from the OP but it all came back in a vivid memory thinking about the baby in the road!