The things they say.

In the hot summer of 1976, DS1 had mumps and, while running around barefoot in the garden, he got stung by a bee. DS2, aged 3, came running into the house:'I won't get mumps, 'cos I haven't been stung by a bee, Mummy.' He did.

The same DS, age 3, also said loudly: "Look Mummy, a clown" - pointing excitedly to a punk less than 2 ft away. Actually, I could see what he meant !

Posie: Least said soonest mended would have been the best approach, but to break the total silence (shock and disbelief) that followed the words, DH said something along the lines of, "I promise you, he hasn't got that from us!". I don't think the PC was convinced, but no more was said about it! Even though I knew what had led up to DS's words, I was far too shy back then to try and explain to a policeman.

(Just in case anyone is wondering why the policeman was there, I should explain that my OH had been attacked on the towpath outside our boat the evening before, and the PC was there to get some details.)

MamaCaz I'm interested,did you think least said soonest mended or explain about the farmyard animals & risk him wondering why you needed to explain?

DS1, aged 4, in the presence of a policeman: a few grunts followed by the loud statement "There's a pig in here!"

He was playing with farmyard animals at the time (DS that is, not the PC!), and I had heard him making quiet animal noises moments earlier but I don't think the PC had noticed that. Unfortunately, he certainly heard those immortal words.

In an attempt to convince you that his words were totally innocent, I would like to point out that said son is himself a police officer now!

phoenix my little grandson took his contribution to the harvest 'festerbule' last year.

One of my nephews came in from the garden when very small to inform his Mum that he had just seen a bee. Not wanting him to be scared of bees she asked "What was it doing?"

"Just bee-ing," came the reply. We never knew whether he meant just existing or just being a bee but I thought it was very John Lennon-esque and strangely (or not) he grew up to be a massive John Lennon fan even adding Winston to his name. He writes music for television and films nowadays and even had a group called, guess what, "Bug" at one time.

A friend's Autistic son suddenly informed her that he was going to die in 2016. Needless to say she was rather shaken by this until he showed her his Library Card -Expires in 2016! She couldn't help but smile in relief! Just shows how literally the Autistic mind works.

After telling my GS the story of how we caught the haggis we had for tea, he wanted to know if we needed a licence or if we were poaching

DS1 always enjoyed the "harvest vegetable" service at school, and told me that after they had done it for the mummies and daddies, they were going to do it again for the "crumple faced ladies and gentlemen"

Marieallott That describes the sensation of sunshine flickering in your eyes exactly - your Ds is very astute.

Granny23 DG had a Wictor the Wampire (Victor the Vampire) pop up book which was a firm favourite for ages.

Loved the vampire eggs you learn something new every day

Apparently when I was little I used to say meemic instead of music. The radio was also the meemic and when we visited my grandparents their TV was a man meemic - i could see the man and hear the music!
I knew a cat was a meow and a dog was a bow wow but I was a bit thrown when I first saw a Pekingese. Finally realised it must be a meow bow wow

It's just amazing what information they pick up/absorb isn't it?

Empire biscuits have been known as Vampire biscuits in our family since DGD2 re-named them. I am fascinated that Vampire is an everyday word in her vocabulary, whereas 'Empire' is an unknown concept.

BTW - did you know that the jelly sweet on top is a vampire egg? No? I didn't know this either till DGD2 told me.

When sat in the back of the car with the sun shinning my DS 1 said " the sun is tickling my eyes".

When my son was 4 we went to my husbands sister Barbara for a barbecue.

Afterward he told everyone we had been to a barbaracue Guess what we call it now!

Ha ha 'kitty* much better than basket!

My grandson went to the stables as a toddler, and with dad's encouragement announced to me he'd been riding on a 'whore!' Dad laughing like a drain and in no rush to correct him!

DD3used to put her clothes in the dirty bastard ( she must have got that from her father!!) and all of us now find it very difficult to call it a dirty basket when the grandchildren are around.

DS1 called skyscrapers by the much more picturesque 'skywipers'

My DD used the term "Bunny stairs" for bannisters. One or other of my DCs referred to a wedding cake as "a block flats cake."

When I once suggested to very newly continent DD that it was time she did a wee, her response was "I did one yesterday!

DS busy in the garden with his tricycle and his policeman's helmet proudly told me that he had; "caught lots of burglars and was taking them to prison", but that he.. "would have to chop them up into pieces so that they would all fit in".
His solution to prison overcrowding.

Posie I like that child's logic!

were WHERE!! red pen time!

DS1 used to say 'peatot' and 'pous' instead of teapot and soup. DS2 had his own peculiar vocabulary. The car was called the 'taptin' because we would always say 'let's get you strapped in'. Not only our car, but 'Grampa's taptin'. The TV was 'paycoo' because that's were Playschool lived.

My five year old grandsons, anticipating two weddings in the next year, are very interested in the wedding cakes. 'Will there be a marrying man and lady on top of the marrying cake?' That's what they are from now on

DD has never been able to say lorry for some reason, always lolly, guess what her husband does for a living, yep he is a lolly driver.

I'm Graggy rather than Granny.