If you feel bullied

I have seen people saying they will PM someone when they want to pass on some confidential or personal information, I cannot see what is wrong with that.

Agreed petallus- and it was quite unpleasant.

Margaretm74 changed her name to fleaintheear but I have not seen a reply from her to any of the posts. Have I missed her do you think or has she gone for good?

Careful Petallus! You'll be 'the old guard' in some people's eyes next time it kicks off and a new member decides to make an exit!

I just like being around when it's friendly and we can have a heated debate without falling out

I joined nov 11 si I've been here a long time also. I did change my name though.

And me!
If we were meeting at my house, I might say ill pm you my address!

Galen I feel I have been on GN long enough to talk about 'the old days' with nostalgia of course .

Some of the GNetters who were around then are no longer.

I want to meet Phoenix for coffee too but I don't think a pm will cut the – er – mustard.

If I PM someone it is usually to share something that is pertinent to them but not of interest to everyone, or may be too detailed (e.g. courses, or personal experiences that tally with theirs) That is the only time I'd say "I have PMd you".

Otherwise, it is just social engagements. For example, I might want to arrange to meet a local GNetter for coffee! You know who you are! Oh, in the interests of transparency, that is probably Phoenix!

Yes, I know what you mean, petallus.

The 'old days?'

A good example of how individuals see thing so differently!

Some think announcing a PM is a negative act like 'whispering behind your hand' whereas others considered it as open and transparent!

I thought a comment + wink emoticon next to someone's name at the end of a post could be considered a bit like whispering behind your hand but others considered it an innocent sign of support/like mindedness.

So easy to mis-understand each other.

Ana you probably remember the old days when there were some very argumentative threads on GN.

Someone involved in a dispute with another poster would suddenly announce they had received many messages of support from other posters through the PM system.

And there was a definite feeling, sometimes, that groups of 'friends' were PMing each other as well as contributing to the thread.

This gave a feeling of insecurity to me and some others.

So, mentioning that you are PMing someone is a welcome improvement on that scenario as far as I am concerned.

Instead of secrecy there is transparency.

Perhaps someone who does it could explain? It feels as if perhaps they want us all to know for whatever reason. I suppose if I had PM'd someone and expected a response and not got one after a reasonable time I might PM again and then if no response I might put it on a thread but when I have PM'D someone they have responded so it hasn't been necessary.

absent

I can't help feeling that this is a bit of a storm in a molehill.

I agree, merlot. petallus, how on earth can it give a feeling of 'transparency'? I'd have thought 'secrecy' more apt!

I like it when someone posts saying they have PMd.

Gives a feeling of transparency.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the announcement that a PM is winging its way is the Gransnet equivalent of whispering behind your hand. It also smacks of self importance. Just do it. It's private so we don't need to know.

I only check my GN inbox if I get an email telling me I have a pm in it from someone. This email doesn't always happen

I meant check their Gransnet inbox, Galen.

Not always. Sometimes for some unknown reason the email saying you have a pm doesn't work! (Probably because you've done something to upset the Flying Sphaggetti Monstrr)

I've often wondered that too, Nonnie. They're probably just urging the recipient to check their in-box, but it can make others feel uncomfortable.

By PM if you like!

Why do people write on the forums that they have PM's someone? I've wondered this for a long time as surely the one who has been PM'd knows. Please someone enlighten me.