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Old faded memories - and tears

(26 Posts)
Flowerofthewest Wed 26-Feb-14 23:34:59

My cousin has posted a video filmed in 1970 of a reunion of my Nanny and her long lost daughter who was sent to Dr Barnados as a toddler. My grandmother had the child when her husband was missing presumed dead during the First World War. His mother insisted that the child was given up. My grandmother didn't see her for 50 years.

The video shows my grandmother with the rest of her 13 children and grandchildren and my Aunty Doris. In the video is my dad. He died aged 58 31 years ago. It was so strange and wonderful seeing him 'moving' if only for a few seconds. I didn't realise how much it would affect me. I have watched the tiny clip of him several times now. This evening I lay on my settee and wept for him - I miss him so much. He was a beautiful and funny man and I just wish he could have met my grandchildren and my youngest son.

grannyactivist Wed 26-Feb-14 23:43:53

Flower what a moving and poignant tale - and how lovely that your dad was someone whose loss is still felt so keenly and that you now have a treasured memento of him. flowers

Anne58 Wed 26-Feb-14 23:46:04


Flowerofthewest Thu 27-Feb-14 00:00:12

He was a kind and wonderful man grannyactivist He loved us two girls and we were both 'daddy's girls' He was fair, honourable, well liked by his staff where he was a Master Mechanic in a drawing office.

I was on the bus once and overheard two people who must have worked for him singing his praised. It was a good 10 years after he had died but the kind and lovely things they were saying about him meant so much, even though I knew him as such.

He was only 22 when I was born and that seems so young now but he was a very loving father and adored my mother.

Thank you for the flowers and to phoenix

Flowerofthewest Thu 27-Feb-14 00:00:44

meant praises

Granny23 Thu 27-Feb-14 01:38:32

I had a Dad like that too, Flower. No one ever said a bad word about him and I still miss him so much but do feel that he is always with me. When my DGS was born I had a strong feeling that he had somehow inherited the essence of my father. He does not look like him at all but has the same loving and caring nature. I am comforted that my Dad's spirit lives on. I am sure your father also lives on in you and your family too. flowers

Grannyknot Thu 27-Feb-14 08:18:18

Flower, what a touching tale and one that I can identify with too. We lived with my grandparents when I was a child and I spent a great deal of time in my retired grandfather's company, from the time I was about 3 until he died suddenly from a heart attack when I was 13.

He played the violin, and he sang accompanied by my gran on the piano. He had a beautiful tenor voice. A while ago an uncle of mine compiled a CD with some ancient recordings he had of my grandad singing. My copy of the CD lay around for a bit till one day I put it on and settled down with a cup of tea, to listen, not expecting much as I had been warned the recordings were old and "scratchy". But as my beloved granddad' s voice soared, I wept for the past.

Grannyknot Thu 27-Feb-14 08:21:29

23, I know what you mean about the essence of someone being inherited. My daughter has the essence of her late gran, my mother. And I recognise it, keep it close to my heart and simply enjoy it.

Iam64 Thu 27-Feb-14 09:04:08

What a wonderful experience flower.

rosesarered Thu 27-Feb-14 11:34:42

Flower sometimes things like this are a double-edged sword aren't they? I think 'bitter-sweet' is what I mean really. The past is never as far away as we think, if the memories are sweet, so much the better, but if not, things can come rushing back and overwhelm us. I wish that I had a Father like you[nobody sung my Father's praises, more the reverse!] I sometimes look at photo's of my children when they were young and think how happy we were, the best times, for me.You're lucky to have a home video, because as you say, it's seeing the movement that makes it real isn't it? Glad it made you happy. smile

harrigran Thu 27-Feb-14 13:03:59

Flower flowers
It is 29 years since my Dad died and he is in my thoughts every day. I have audio tapes of Dad talking about the old days but have only listened to it once since he died. I have photos of him as a three year old and photos of DS at same age, they could be twins smile

janerowena Thu 27-Feb-14 13:07:07

That is such a lovely thing to have found, I envy you. Movement captures people in a way that no photo ever can.

Flowerofthewest Thu 27-Feb-14 14:08:01

Forgot to mention my cousin also found a film of my sister and myself, just short pieces, when we were around 7 and 9. Goodness knows what my mother did to my hair. I know she used to try to cut the fringe herself and then level it and level it until it was hardly a fringe at all but a 'toothbrush'

Granny23 Thu 27-Feb-14 14:31:40

My Uncle (Dad's brother) had a cine camera and filmed my wedding in 1966. He was not skilled in use of the thing and when we were all summons to watch the 'film show' it was somewhat disappointing with many sequences of said Uncle's feet and clear blue sky. There was only about 20 minutes of wedding followed by endless footage of their holiday in Scarbourgh and other bits and bobs. He did not know how to rewind properly so we were treated to the whole thing backwards in treble time which was hilarious, in that it started with my Aunt scurrying up to her Mother's grave, snatching the flowers from the vase and scurrying away down the cemetery and finished with my Dad and I appearing from the church, running backwards down the path, leaping into a wedding car and reversing away.

My DD2 tried to locate this video when she was preparing a slide show for our Ruby Wedding, but unfortunately my Aunt had passed the whole kit and caboodle to her cousin when my Uncle died and it could not be located. Shame sad

bikergran Thu 27-Feb-14 14:52:47

I don't know how I would cope with seeing some one actualy moving on a film that had passed away...I know my friend never liked videos etc as she couldn't bare the upset of watching her mother moving and talking when she wasn't here any perhaps have a different meaning as they are stills and not moving, but still can be very upsetting looking at them as it brings back memories of happier times.

Flowerofthewest Thu 27-Feb-14 17:14:34

I agree it was sad but at the same time lovely to see dad. Talking of wedding cine films, my dad's friend filmed my first wedding in 1968. My dog ate the whole thing a few years later - I was sad to lose the memories of other on the film but maybe it was meant to be as we divorced a few years later!

rosesarered Thu 27-Feb-14 17:32:08

granny23 that was just hilarious!!!grin

rosesarered Thu 27-Feb-14 17:33:20

It needed playing with the Benny Hill Show theme.

Lindylooby Thu 27-Feb-14 17:35:15

My darling husband died last April. About a month after his death I decide to look at the dvd's of us on holidays, birthdays and births of our grandchildren......I found it bittersweet, he wasn't really here still, oh but to see him speak and laugh, such happy memories!
I often look at those dvds with such love for my soulmate.
I know we all deal with grief differently, but I am so glad I can see and hear him whenever I want to.

Flowerofthewest Thu 27-Feb-14 17:39:30

A friend's step-father died and the plan was to take his ashes to the top of a 'mountain' in Ireland. This was done with a good number of people walking in line. The whole thing was videoed and the film shows the trail of peoples' feet walking up the mountain and back down again. About 30 minutes of feet.

pinkprincess Fri 28-Feb-14 00:19:03

My DH has a video film which he made before I met him it must be over 50 years old.
It has his parents, his sister and BIL and their two oldest children, who were babies at the time, at family gatherings and outings. I never met his father as he died not long after the film was taken so it is sort of an introduction to me of my FIL.One scene is Chistmas Day and the dog is wearing a paper hat from a cracker.Another scene is his nephew sitting in his big coach built pram and he is turning round to grab his feeding bottle which is kept behind the backrest.Another is of his niece taking her first steps.
DH showed this video at his niece's Silver Wedding party a few years ago and it brought tears to her eyes seeing her parents and grandparents who have now all passed on, as well as the scenes of her brother and herself as babies.
Unfortunatly he had lost the camera by the time our children were born or else we would have had some of them as well.

ninathenana Fri 28-Feb-14 07:38:24

My eldest was born on the second anniversary of my darling dad's passing. He would have been such a wonderful grandad.
I'd love to have mum and dad on film.

ginny Fri 28-Feb-14 08:20:18

What lovely memories Flowerofthewest.
My Dad was similar. He worked at our local garage for over 20 years after he had retired from the Post Office . When he died 3 years ago I was much comforted by the number of people who stopped me and said what a real gentleman he was and such a lovely man.
I too have a very small bit of film with both my parents in it.
Those we love live on in our hearts and memories .

Kiora Fri 28-Feb-14 08:43:00

flowersand a tissue for you flower. Last Sunday I watched a BBC2 programme about Liverpool in the 1940-1970's. It bought back many childhood memories including those of my long deceased relatives. I too cried a little. It was really poignant and left me feeling a little unsettled. So I can well understand your feeling must have been even more heightened. It's a weepy smiley feeling. I hope you had Someone to give you a hug. X

papaoscar Fri 28-Feb-14 12:05:41

What a subject! More and more I find that past life is receding into the mists of time. I suppose its a trick of the mind, but I notice that the good memories from the past are much clearer than the bad, and also that older memories can still be surprisingly clear and fresh. What never fades for us are memories of all the dogs we ever had - mainly Labradors - and the intense pleasure they gave us over so many years. We sometimes speculate on how they would all have got on together, and who would have been boss. That certainly wouldn't have been us!