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Cards or not?

(45 Posts)
henetha Sun 23-Mar-14 11:50:13

One of my sons has told me that he will not be sending cards from now on. None at all, Christmas, birthday, etc... definitely no cards.
Am I being silly to feel hurt by this? I have kept every card he has sent me and they mean a lot to me.
But I have to respect his views, I suppose.
And I've had a brainwave... He is very keen on drawing and painting, so I have bought a packet of card blanks as used by creative crafters, so I am going to ask him if he will sketch me a card from now on.
How do you all feel about cards? He says it is just lining the manufacturers pockets. But I think cards are about pleasing the people you send them to. Mothers in particular treasure them, I think.

glammanana Sun 23-Mar-14 12:00:13

Whilst I totally understand your DSs point of view with regard to lining the pockets of manufacturers I do love to get cards from my DCs & DGCs,my two DSs are the most laid back boys you could ever wish to meet but when they where serving abroad somewhere and it was difficult for them to be in contact they always made sure any cards where supplied and sent by their sister,I do think it is a lovely idea to have your DS sketch something which is personal to you and you can treasure it and keep them with all the cards he has sent previously.

durhamjen Sun 23-Mar-14 12:16:10

I keep them from my grandchildren because you can see how their drawing, writing and thinking have progressed.
The six year old has now started writing a whole story on every card.
Her brother has just had his birthday and has decided to send thankyou cards cards to people who have sent him birthday cards. Haven't the heart to tell him that it cost me more than the card they sent him, as I am supposed to be encouraging him in his writing.

harrigran Sun 23-Mar-14 12:33:20

I think it is a very good idea to give him a set of blank cards to decorate. I bought some packs last week because GD is a great little artist and loves to make her own cards. DS is also artistic but he leaves the sending of cards to DIL.

tanith Sun 23-Mar-14 12:43:53

My son never sends me cards I guess I'm used to it now, before texting I would sometimes get a phone call but not always, now he texts me and sends flowers/hamper. Like you I love the cards my daughters always send . I do wonder if I will receive cards from his new baby son, my guess is that the baby's lovely Mummy will take up the reins on that score. Women just know how much a card means.

Galen Sun 23-Mar-14 13:00:29

My sons the same!

ninathenana Sun 23-Mar-14 13:22:13

I do get cards from my son as he knows I love them. I still have those that I received on my wedding day 39yrs ago. I also keep cards sent for 'big' birthdays.
My SiL family don't 'do' cards at all. Not to each other or anyone. Cards SiL receives are opened and put back in the envelope and left on the side. When I sent DGS one for his first birthday he asked 'what's the point, he doesn't know' No, but mummy and I do
He will receive one for his 2nd birthday on Wednesday too, so there !! grin

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 23-Mar-14 13:23:21

That is horrible. I would let him know my feelings.

annodomini Sun 23-Mar-14 13:38:35

Mine are good about cards. If I know I'm going to see them at Christmas, I don't see the point of sending them cards, but they still send them to me. The cost of sending a Christmas card is getting beyond a joke and now I send e-cards to all but the most special recipients.
Don't like the sound of your SiL, nina. Even my stingy FiL was nothing like that.

Gally Sun 23-Mar-14 13:40:06

I keep cards for years. I just had a huge chucking out splurge and threw out my 21st cards - well, it seemed silly to keep them any longer as they only meant something to me and half the senders were either pushing up the daisies or I haven't kept in touch with any more - but already I am regretting it. I still have the cards sent to my Mum when I was born and have kept our wedding ones. I love being in receipt of cards, but do feel it is becoming increasingly expensive to buy and send them and tell my girls not to bother although they always do; a phone call is always welcome in lieu. I bought 3 recently costing a massive £7.50 - must be crazy.
Your idea henetha is a good one. I think 'blokes' on the whole don't 'do' cards in general.

MiniMouse Sun 23-Mar-14 13:40:31

Oh what a shame. I've always said to my two children that I'd rather receive a card than have a present, especially if it shows that they've put thought into choosing one that's appropriate to you - my lot usually send something suitably rude/sarcastic wink The DGCs draw their own smile

henetha Sun 23-Mar-14 14:18:50

Thanks everyone. Yes, definitely, woman are much better at cards etc than men as they know how much they mean to a mother/wife/etc.
I just don't understand how, after 49 years of sending cards, he has suddenly decided not to. And his girl-friend agrees with him apparently.
Also, I used to get phone calls but now it's just texts.
However, I do at least hear from him and see him sometimes, so I count my blessings. There are mothers who don't.
By the way, it's his birthday soon and I am going to buy him the best and biggest card I can find. Is this called "Dropping a hint"? grin

J52 Sun 23-Mar-14 14:21:18

I read somewhere, years ago about the psychological benefits of sending cards and receiving. This has always stuck with me. I like to keep cards, someone has been kind enough to pick them out and send.
Also, Some people find it easier to express their feelings on a card rather than say them.
When I'm away I always send my DGCs cards, although they are all too young to read!

I also get pleasure in sewing special cards, for friends and family. X

KatyK Sun 23-Mar-14 16:49:28

I love to get cards and fortunately still do. Like you henetha i only get texts now from my daughterr. I used to love our long chats. It's the way of the world methinks.

rosesarered Sun 23-Mar-14 17:18:41

I think I would feel very hurt if my son suddenly decided to stop sending cards.But it has to be a 2 way street, which means no card for him either I'm afraid. People can't have it all ways.

nannyfran Sun 23-Mar-14 17:18:51

I've got all the cards sent by my children and DH from years back and they mean a lot.
I like your idea about the big card henetha, it should hit the spot! You mention his girlfriend agrees with him, could she be the influence behind this?
I hope he sees sense and realises what it means to you.

henetha Sun 23-Mar-14 17:41:05

I'm not sure, nannyfran, and I like her very much. But I have noticed a sort of toughening of his character since he has been living with her.
I suspect she might be behind his new thinking, but have no intention of falling out with her! (I learnt years ago that it's a big mistake to ever fall out with sons women!). And to be honest, she is always very nice to me.
I'm waiting to see what happens on Mothers Day next weekend. confused

KatyK Sun 23-Mar-14 18:09:55

My daughter has just rung me for a chat ! blush

Dragonfly1 Sun 23-Mar-14 18:52:12

Is she a closet Gransnetter, Katy? Or was it just a lovely coincidence? smile

Stansgran Mon 24-Mar-14 08:36:58

M&S have some cards for £1 or so and you can get a stamp to say you've bought one. After six cards you can choose a free one. I tend to buy six cheap ones and an expensive free one when I've enough stamps.
If you take good photos it's worth having cards printed . It can work out as a few pence.

KatyK Mon 24-Mar-14 09:42:25

Dragonfly - I hope she isn't a closet GNetter! shock

Dragonfly1 Mon 24-Mar-14 10:09:47

Katy He he he! smile

henetha Mon 24-Mar-14 10:25:45

Funny coincidence, KatyK. My son rang me last night! A proper phone call with at least 5 minutes of chat. Mind you, he had just come home from a holiday in Egypt and rang to let me know he was o.k.
I am SO pleased. And I'm pleased your daughter rang you.

KatyK Mon 24-Mar-14 10:53:29

It lifts your spirits doesn't it henetha? I know it's the modern 'way' texting and such like but having a little chat makes me feel so much better smile Glad you had a chat with your son.

nannyfran Mon 24-Mar-14 12:46:44

So glad your son phoned, henetha. I agree about not falling out with son's women, luckily my DIL is lovely too and always nice to me, which makes things easier.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you next Sunday.(flowers)