Sir and Ma'am or Sir and Miss?

Everyone calls my dentist by his first name yet he always calls me Mrs .... In spite of me suggesting its a reciprocal thing. I've been going to him for years and I've given up trying to change him - he's lovely; the best dentist ever

In the early 80s I was working at the Charing Cross Hospital; all but one of the medical students attached to our department called me by my first name (as did the doctors and my colleagues). The remaining student who came from one of the African countries (to my shame I forget which one) said he found this most disrespectful on the part of the students and explained to me that in his homeland married women were addressed by the name of their eldest son. I therefore became "Ma Steven" to him; I didn't find this sexist as it showed respect to an older woman.

Ana - it struck me as odd! The class where it happened the most was teaching Pitman 2000 shorthand and I can only assume that they reverted to type when trying to gain my attention quickly (they would chuckle over it as well). This same trio (it was only three of them that did it) I also taught free of charge in my home as they were struggling to keep up with all the of the others and in my home, they were happy to call me by my name but once back in the class, it went straight back to Miss.

The other class I taught was English to Adults with Learning Difficulties.

It might help to restore some element of respect towards teaching staff especially within inner city schools where I do have some experience.

Now that strikes me as really odd, HollyDaze - an adult education class addressing their tutor as 'Miss'...

(Obviously I'm assuming they weren't special needs adults)

My personal feeling is that if first names are used, as in other professions eg nursing and medicine, familiarity breeds contempt.

I agree with that in most professional situations. I once had a surgeon who, when he rang, or wrote to, me, would either say 'This is John' or sign his letters 'John'. I don't want to be on first name terms with someone that I might need to tell off at some point! It makes it harder once that line has been crossed. I prefer professional distance (if that makes sense) including in the classroom.

I taught adults and although I would always introduce myself to a new class as Mrs XX XXXX, they'd still call me Miss lol (and some of the women were older than I was).

No, I didn't have a dedicated midwife in the early 70s. It wasn't normal practice in those days, though there may have been some exceptions. My mother was a practising midwife at that time.

I was only recounting my own experience as well, Agus - and yes, I know I was lucky...

I don't recall ever calling my teachers anything other than Mr X, Miss or Mrs X, and that was in the north of England.

Well Ana I can only relay my own experience and what was the norm here when I gave birth. 3 hours and I'm thinking lucky you! First time round for me was 22 hours.

Re school titles. Scottish schools for both DH and I and our teachers were never addressed as Miss or Sir.

Agus, I have no idea! I was admitted at around 8 pm, was given an enema and left mostly on my own (apart from then-DH) and had DD around 11 pm. I don't remember whether the nurse who actually delivered my baby said she was a midwife - I'm sure there must have been some on duty, but it was a busy bank holiday weekend...

In the school I went to, and in DCs' school (both in Scotland) it was always Miss/Mrs/Mr/Dr X and never Miss or Sir. However, I have just asked DH, who also went to a state school in Scotland and they used Sir and Miss! Don't fancy that, but better than first names.

Come to think of it, mcem is right. I was not addressed as 'Miss' in Scottish schools, though in one rough school where I took a 'remedial' class on my final teaching practice, I seem to remember being addressed as 'Missus'!

When I worked in a small cottage hospital we all rose when Matron entered the dining room - including the doctors and intoned 'good afternoon Matron' in unison and resumed our seats once she had placed hers on the chair . How times have changed......

Soutra . I have to say though, I never new of any obligation to get 'rank and title' correct!

Did your Maternity Unit not have midwives Ana? We did and in our unit it was the midwife who assisted and stayed with you during birth.

I remember when DD1 was born in hospital, my parents visited during the 24 hours I was there.
DD1 was fretful and my mother picked her up. Someone in uniform came in and snapped 'put that baby down now, we don't encourage that'! Mother meekly replied 'Yes, Sister' and put DD1 back into the cot under the woman's disapproving glare. When she had gone I said 'she's the nursing auxiliary, pick the baby up when you want'.

Did women have designated midwives in the 70s/80s? Not round here they didn't!

Fat finger syndrome - oblivious

agus first time round I didn't know who my DH was! Thereafter elective sections so pblivipus to everything but you still had to get "rank and title" right when back on the ward after. They were lovely though!!

Some gentleman from Vodafone asked if he could call me by my first name. He sounded young enough to be a grandson and seemed surprised when I told him he could call me Mrs M....

It was always 'Miss' in class, though Miss, Mrs or Mr if they were identifying a specific teacher. Occasionally the odd 'Mum' slipped out, but when one accidentally called me 'Nan' then I knew it was time to quit!

Goodness knows who my midwife was - certainly no one I'd ever met before...

Don't like being called by first name when a patient! Particularly as I never use the full form myself.

Darling daughter was called Ma'am at the school she was teaching at.(it was in Cheltenham, but not that school)

But you surely knew who your midwife was Soutra

Oh I forgot belts and silver buckles too! The student nurses were training at the Westminster and were all very "debbie" and sweet. They would turn up at the crack of dawn to start their shift immaculately made up too!