Looking back as a parent

He was indeed Dragonfly, as amazing as your daughter sounds.

We all did our best at the time. I do clearly remember being torn apart and very stressed as my kids were at the difficult stages of adolescence at exactly the same time as my ageing parents suffered major health problems. Trying to hold down a job as well as meeting everyone's needs meant I was running ragged and absolutely exhausted most of the time.
If only the problems had been 'staggered' instead of all at once I would have coped better. Not perfect by any means but I did my best. And you can't do better than that.

Mishap, it's good to hear your daughter is benefiting from treatment and also that she's being more open with you about her difficulties. I agree, parenting is something of a minefield - I think it's probably the most demanding 'job' any of us ever do.

It's no surprise to read that anxiety and depression run in your husband's family, given what you say about your daughter and now one of her own children. It's a puzzle that generally, society seems to accept that physical characteristics run in families, but to seek to blame parents when children experience mental health problems. I am not minimising the impact of childhood experience on the way children develop by the way folks

I nostalgically look back and wish I hadn't shouted, been impatient, etc at times and look at my DPs daughter and think what an amazing mum she is. However I did what I thought was my very best at the time and they all seem to be happy contented adults.
Who knows how they really feel though about their childhood especially in my case where divorce was involved.
The fact that we are on this site still posting our concerns etc about our families show we are at least caring ladies. Doesn't it? Or am I deluding myself!

No I don't think you're deluding yourself story nanny.

storynanny

If there hadn't been times that you shouted and been impatient, wouldn't that make you emotionless? The fact that you did makes you just like every other parent so I wouldn't feel badly about that. Children can drive their parents up the wall at times as we all know.

As you have said: 'they all seem to be happy, contented adults' and if they reached that point without committing any cardinal sins against society, you did a good job