My very surreal evening

I was due to help DBH's school with their production of Bugsy. I was asked to go in for 6.30pm, DBH met me and said that I wasn't needed after all, just to relax and have a glass of wine with a few friends, members of staff, who all seemed very pleased to see me and extremely solicitous. I got a bit of a surprise when I discovered that the play was Joseph, not Bugsy at all and thought I must have misheard. We finished our pre-play drinks and one of the teachers stepped forward and announced that if all the governors and Mrs. Janerowena would like to step forward, she would escort us to our reserved seats. I was rather wondering why I had a reserved seat, but not too much as I often sit at the front so that I could see DBH playing in the orchestra, if he is doing the sound desk I usually sit in there with him and help. But I couldn't see him in the orchestra, and when I thought about it I couldn't remember exactly what it was that he had said he would be doing. I realised I didn't have a programme, Teacher-friend hadn't given me one as she escorted me to my seat and I couldn't find one on my chair, I stood up and looked down the back to see if it had slipped down (they are like cinema seats in that theatre). No programme, but as I didn't know many of the children it didn't bother me. Although they all seemed very smiley children, several of them looked at me and smiled. A surprising amount of them, in fact. I started to wonder if I looked funny!

I was pleased to find that I was seated next to DS's best friend's parents, they have a younger son who was in the production. They seemed a bit quiet and reserved, but I put it down to jetlag. They have a weird life, he is English, she is American, she works in Singapore and he works in the USA, they lived over here for a few years to educate the children but have just moved out and appear to have houses in Malaysia, USA and Singapore. So I just thought they were exhausted. More staff friends appeared and said they would meet me for drinks in the interval but DBH was busy sorting lighting so wouldn't see me in the interval.

The play was brilliant, the first half ended and I tried to go over to DS's old clarinet teacher, but she melted away. Teacher friends appeared and escorted me to the old hall and a glass of wine, entertained me beautifully and I was just starting to think, this is all a bit odd... They escorted me back again to my seat.

The second half started, Joseph was starting to be known for all his dream-deciphering and the Pharoah wanted to meet him. There was a brilliant piece of kit on the stage, a pyramid with a large Pharoah lit up on the front, an arm would emerge through a slit in the painting and send servants scurrying from time to time, very funny. Then came the moment (have any of you seen Joseph?) when the Pharoah/Elvis emerges from the pyramid to ask Joseph to decipher his dream for him, and lo and behold, I knew that voice... :D I shrieked. Everyone, but everyone was in on it. Staff, kids, parents, governors. They all bloody knew except me! He was brilliant. DBH is funny but quite strait-laced. And there he was, in tight white jewel-encrusted trousers and vest, with a great big headdress and masses of Egyptian eye makeup, strutting his stuff a la Elvis. It was quite sexy really... :D Afterwards everyone said none of them had been watching him at first, they were all watching me to see my reaction! :D I wish I hadn't made the teachers raspberry muffins the other day now...

Anyway, no I didn't have a clue. Everyone kept saying, surely you guessed, he has been practising the song and the dance for weeks. The only thing that stuck in my memory was the other day, when I said I didn't like Elvis! :D He looked a bit concerned.

The headmaster in the final speech at the end asked what I thought of his performance. I just said 'Does he get to keep the costume?' All the mothers laughed, DBH said he got some very knowing looks and smirks yesterday.

So, we went to the pub afterwards. Sadly he changed first! So many people either avoided me in case they let it slip, or were a little too solicitous in case I decided to go to find him, and I still didn't twig! I really thought the teachers were all being so nice to me (stopping me from going looking for DBH) only because I made them raspberry muffins because they were all suffering from end of year stress!

It's not the first time he has done something like that, and when people get suspicious and say, surely you must have known he was up to something, I can only think they are obviously married to someone a lot more transparent than DBH!

I laughed so much that I cried and my nose ran. I lost all my makeup.