ODE to Grace (to the same tune and with apologies to Rex Harrison)
Why can't a partner be more like a dog?
When a dog isn't eating, she sleeps like a log
If you leave her for hours, no harsh words are said
She gives you wet kisses, then goes back to bed.
Her clothes don't need ironing, in fact she has none
A quick shake in the morning and her toilet is done
She never is sulky, and never does moan
And all that she needs is a walk and a bone
She won't tell you her problems, doesn't moan how you drive
Just wagging her tail, says she glad she's alive!
She snores and she farts, but her bed is downstairs
She eats the same food every day without cares.
She doesn't much care what I watch on TV
As long as there's room on the sofa for three
A man has his good points but I'm thinking and yet
Oh why can't my DH be more like my pet?