Gransnet forums


Puncturing someones balloon

(43 Posts)
littleflo Mon 08-Sep-14 08:16:03

There was an article in yesterdays paper about some american football fans tossing around a beach ball during the interval of the game. Everyone was having fun until one fan stamped on it and then applauded himself and grinned at the camera.

I am very new to Gransnet, and I love it. People on here seem to be, such a wonderful supportive group. Witty, knowledgeable, articulate, extremely kind and often grateful for the help and advice they have received

However I have noticed that on occasions a light-hearted post is going along very nicely tossed around to one gransnetter and then another, when suddenly there appears a post that punctures the balloon.

suebailey1 Mon 08-Sep-14 08:33:39

Realistically I suppose that happens in normal conversation when two or three are gathered together - its just looks worse written down. you can always blow up another

Nelliemoser Mon 08-Sep-14 08:44:32

littleflo it does happen from time to time but if things start to get heated or downright nasty just disengage from the thread.

Don't get too worried about it.

Generally GN is very supportive, as the response to Kioras concerns last week about how to talk about her late uncle at his funeral.

Then GNrs came forward with lots of support and good advice, which when someone is in a bit of a crisis and "can't think straight" is really helpful.

petallus Mon 08-Sep-14 09:09:54

Talking of balloon bursting in general, I wonder why people want to do it. To gain dominance, spite at seeing others having fun?

penguinpaperback Mon 08-Sep-14 09:25:05

It does happen littleflo. I think, sadly it's unavoidable. Anyone can post on most forums on the internet. They can then change names, post under more than one name. Set up an argument because they are bored, find it amusing. It's generally a very small number of a site's posters though and it would be a shame if it stopped others posting.
I've followed some very supportive posts here since joining. smile

henetha Mon 08-Sep-14 10:30:08

I agree, littleflo. Most of the GNs on here seem lovely and supportive,
but there are one or two who seem to enjoy shooting people down in flames for no particular reason. I have occasionally been wary of what I write because of this.

Penstemmon Mon 08-Sep-14 11:34:51

I enjoy a range of threads! Some are clearly lighthearted and 'just for fun'. others are more serious and sometimes they draw out quite different perspectives and the debates are robust and demanding. I enjoy those too!

There are people who do not like their opinions or perspective being challenged &/or resort to personal jibing or 'you said/she said' backtracking so that the original debate is lost. Sometimes people do post phrases /words that others find offensive and upsetting or completely misconstrue what has been said. The choice is to either ignore or challenge. Ignoring may allow the poster to continue to cause offence or it might just die a natural death. To challenge will get the issue aired. The risk is the original poster / challenger either gets upset and huffy. The best outcome would be for both to reflect and consider how others may perceive a situation grin They might not change their view but they may gain a better understanding of how others think, i.e. agree to disagree!

The posters I find most irritating are those who post , apparently seeking words of help/advice, and then reject everything anyone says!hmm

Enjoy the variety of threads littleflo smile

sunseeker Mon 08-Sep-14 12:24:31

As has been said I think most GNs are supportive and most of the threads are enjoyable and/or informative. If I find a thread is becoming "heated" or unpleasant, I simply stop reading it.

GN has a very large membership and as such there are going to be people with differing opinions and experiences, as long as we all respect those differences I don't think we can go far wrong. I have been on some forums where physical harm has been threatened!!

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Sep-14 13:10:11

I don't like this sort of thread - where nobody knows who is being talked about and, consequently, everyone starts wondering if it's them. hmm

If you don't like the way a thread is going, say so on the thread. Nothing wrong with confrontation, so long as it is done out in the open.

Nothing wrong with a good old ding-dong at times either. Everyone usually ends up being friendly again afterwards. (Probably because they, like me, can't remember who said what to whom previously)

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Sep-14 13:10:45

whom/who? (I dunno)

Ceesnan Mon 08-Sep-14 13:51:29

But there are some people who are Masters of the Art of Sarcasm and whose jibes can be the final straw to someone who is already stressed. There have been some unpleasant put downs in the past, with one member going so far as to query the mental health of another. That is out of order too.

Aka Mon 08-Sep-14 14:11:10

Penstemmon and I often disagree and we have had quite robust discussions in the past! but in this instance I think she is spot on. It's not the robustness of the discussion but when someone turns it into something personal and nasty.

Aka Mon 08-Sep-14 14:30:38

PS There are threads where nobody burst the balloons or knocks the dominoes off the table.

rosesarered Mon 08-Sep-14 20:59:40

It may get a little sparky at times, but after all, we are not on here just to coo at each other[apart from the threads where members need genuine support.]We are adults after all, not kids.No need to get upset either, we are mostly strangers to each other.Insults are out [or should be] but we must be allowed our opinions [it's an opinions forum.]As AKA says there are various threads on here that are never contentious.

Coolgran65 Mon 08-Sep-14 22:30:06

I haven't been on this site for very long and have noticed indeed how supportive it can be.
On one occasion when I asked advice GNs kept me right and got me to reflect and stop 'overthinking' which I really appreciated.

I think it is also possible that sometimes a poster interjects with what may be meant as humour/tongue in cheek, but in the written word it doesn't come across as such.
Just like 'real life' smile

Flowerofthewest Mon 08-Sep-14 22:49:12

We (the royal we) do miss the ding dongers if they disappear for a while. Nothing like a bit of controversy. grin

Ana Mon 08-Sep-14 22:52:33

Exactly, Coolgran, and I think it also depends on one's expectations of the site.

In the past, Gransnet has been rather more confrontational and 'sparky' than it is now, and there do seem to be differences of opinion about what is acceptable or not (e.g. the swearing debate, and whether one is able to make the observation that we've had a previous thread about a particular subject...hmm)

Icyalittle Mon 08-Sep-14 22:53:36

There are one or two who seem to jump in just to put people down, without having anything to contribute to the original post. I know when I see two particular names it isn't worth reading any further. There are many, many others who have thoughtful, and often helpful, points to make, or empathetic comments to support people.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Sep-14 22:56:26

Ok. The paranoia's getting a bit overwhelming now.

Just name some names. Better out than in.

durhamjen Mon 08-Sep-14 22:57:46

Stirring it, jingle?

Flowerofthewest Mon 08-Sep-14 22:59:39

jingle [naughty emotiacon]

durhamjen Mon 08-Sep-14 22:59:42

Just when I was going to agree with Ana.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Sep-14 23:02:17

I'm not stirring it. I think this is a silly thread. Talking about God know who. What's the point?


Aka Mon 08-Sep-14 23:03:42

Why change the habits of a lifetime Jen wink ?

Ana Mon 08-Sep-14 23:06:04