MIL

Maybe she gets great pleasure from spending on her grandchild if she can afford it does it really matter? If is going to upset her possibly cause a rift.

We don't want her spoiling our little one. Im making a point of not buying much for xmas as I don't want to be the gran that spoils.

How would she take it if her son had a word with her? I can't compete with what my two younger GSs' other granny buys them, so I don't even try. I buy them what their parents tell me they would like - and what's age-appropriate - rather than what's trendy.

Sorry to disagree ethelbags1 but spoiling grandchildren is what grandparents do. We are allowed to buy the over the top pressies for our beloved grands..

Is become very competitive, if I buy something she outdoes it and to be honest I fell bad that I cant afford much, despite not wanting to spoil the little one I probably would buy a bit more than I do at the minute.
DD and I are trying to compile a list of stuff we have for xmas so we know who is buying what but the MIL doesn't do this. I just want to make the little one happy not to show off.

I'm sure you make your DGD happy just by being her gran, Ethel. Can a baby be 'spoilt'?

The only thing she might pick up on, eventually, is any bad feeling between you and her other gran. Presents and material possessions aren't what children need to thrive.

It also depends on the number of GC you are buying for. I'm never going to have more than the current five, though GGC may come along in a few years. One set of GPs might have more GC than the other set.

Isn't your DGD the MiLs DGD too?
I wonder why you say 'our' little one. It sounds as though you're perhaps trying to exclude the MiL and maybe that's why she's overcompensating?

I have no idea what my GSs other grandparents buy them and I don't care. It's not a competition unless you make it one, ethel.

Ditto thatbags.

Presents don't need to be showy and expensive. You need to think hard about what she's really interested in or what you could get her interested in, and try to come up with something that the other lot wouldn't have thought of. Think outside the box.

You're absolutely spot on jingl. I know that one of my granddaughters would far rather have a few packets of the dreaded loom bands (cost about 3 GB pounds) than an expensive piece of jewellery. That's lucky for me!

You are right jings. My dgd gets excited about a packet of shiny stickers and a Kinder egg!

My DGDs eyes light up at the sight of a pound coin for her money box. She's easily pleased

I probably go OTT with Christmas presents for my 2 DGC but that is with the blessing of their parents. I never buy them toys or presents at any other time except for birthdays but I do buy them books and take them to the theatre. Definitely no competition with the other GPs - we all get on very well.

For 2 Christmas in a row we took 2 gc to expensive panto in the Opera House in the city. This year I wanted to break the expensive pattern so it is not always expected and we will go to the local panto show performed by a local company which costs £9 including gift from Santa..

This is not a competition unless you make it on, the poor woman is probably bewildered why her gifts are being sneered at, how would you feel? there are enough people posting on here who, as the paternal grandparent feel they are not as involved as the maternal set, so cut the poor woman some slack and all enjoy your grandchild. If you dont want to compete gift wise, why not open a savings account for your grandchild? Buy a small and useful gift and put some money away, even £10 a month will be a lovely nest egg for when she is a teenager.

Is your DD concerned about this?

Who'd be a MIL your dammed if you do and dammed if you don't sigh

I hardly think this is a"MiL problem" .If it is then I'm sure there are a lot of DiLs who would like to have it. We haven't a clue what the other set of grandparents buys : we give what we want and it is certainly not done to show off.

Your grandchild will remember special times, not expensive presents, ethelt. Time doing fun things together, collecting leaves and conkers, making bread and cakes, painting and getting messy with glue and glitter, singing nursery rhymes, reading and doing jigsaws together. As others have wisely said, it's only a competition if you make it one. Be happy that your grandchild is loved by the people around her and ignore the flashy presents. My grandaughters have some expensive toys to play with, but they drop everything to blow bubbles from a 20p tub!

I spoiled my GDG something rotten when she was smaller. She is 14 now and is a lovely, kind, thoughtful young lady.

If your daughter feels a bit overwhelmed by presents every week, and feels it is not good for her little girl to get to a point where she looks for the present every time she sees grandma, then can she tackle it via her husband?

I can understand her feelings, not wanting her dd to become materialistic or greedy.

But obv this needs to be handled gently and tactfully...by her dh in the first instance.

Thank you for your comments, the situation reminds me so much of when my DD was small and my MIL would give really expensive presents and I would fell so small when I saw how much they had spent, I could never buy the same back and I hated xmas. I saw it as a competition.

Years ago I had a friend, now dead, who used to get a xmas present through the post a week before xmas from her sister who lived a long way away, she would open it and 'price it', rush to the shops and buy something the same or more expensive to send in return.

I could quote many examples of this sort of thing so I hate present giving.
All my family are the same we just can't bear to be the cheapest present giver, It really takes the pleasure from xmas and birthdays. Ironically I hate to receive presents too. I will be 60 this month and will give my presents back if I think they are too expensive. I don't want to be like this but I am, I don't know how to change. I don't want our little one to be like this.