My Mum - the snob!

Oh, Kitty it is so good to hear your sense of humour. She's retained her acerbic tongue, hasn't she?

I remember one Christmas overhearing my Mother telling my DH that I was disappointed with the gift he had given me ! (I wasn't). I also have a difficult relationship with my Mum, nothing I ever do is enough and anyway is no more than I ought to do!! I now let it wash over me and take no notice (although it does help that she now lives the other side of the world!)

Kitty How sad about your "difficult" relationship but at least you can laugh about it and know what to expect from your mum,you could always say in your best Hyacinth Bouquet voice that you like to stand out from the crowd and be different rather than like everyone else with their gold bangles. I do adore Pandora charms which ones did you get on your bracelet ?

Oh dear, Kitty, hope you have learned to laugh about her! My mother was the same, nothing I ever achieved was good enough but my brother could do nothing wrong. She was always ashamed of my father because he only managed to make Chief Clerk for Barclays, never a manager, of which she never tired of reminding him.

My DD bought me a Pandora bracelet for my birthday this year and I am thrilled with it. I rarely buy or receive expensive jewellery, I don't really see the point. I like to have lots of different things, cheap and cheerful is my motto so my Pandora is my most expensive item I think. I can't be doing with snobbery especially when it is the 'kippers and curtains' sort. My MIL (who was so poor she had to bring her family up in relatives' spare rooms) used to make her husband walk behind her in the street.

kitty I am new to this site so I haven't read previous stories about your mother.

She sounds very rude. That's actually a very nasty thing to say about anyone's present.

I am afraid I would have lost my sense of humour about this years ago, and I would have told her where to get off

kitty I'm sure its lovely and its lovely that DH bought it and got the day right and everything. Your Mum as I recall is not very well so perhaps its the illness speaking

It sounds to me Teetime that dear kitty's Mum is just running true to form - illness is no excuse for saying cruel things or behaving badly.

Kitty's mum is very old with (I believe) a tiny bit of dementia. Bless her.

Love Pandora bracelets.

Hmm something sounding familiar here!
However, well done Mr kitty he gets brownie points in my book!! Maybe he could give DH the odd tip

My Mum was a "socialist snob" as I called it. She was very emphatic about her views politically, but also very fussy about the done thing. We were in Essex for part of my childhood and she was very scathing about the estuary accent and took pains to make sure we children did not pick it up. It used to make me smile.

She never made the sort of personal rude remarks that you are all talking about - I have no idea how I might have coped with that!

Glama, my bangle has just 3 amethyst charms on it - a dangly one and matching rings either side. I've had a bracelet for years but find it too heavy as it is now nearly full.

Teetime she does have dementia but as the slightly amended saying goes 'in dementia extreme veritas'. She would have said the same thing years ago!

This was meant to be light hearted elena as a few of us have difficult relationships with our mothers -see above! My brothers and I each have our own axe to grind but looking after mum 'in her hour of need' and laughing at her foibles, has brought us closer together so has its benefits!

And, considering all the other ways I've let her down, this was very small beer!

I was trying to be supportive!! My mother was a nasty piece of work and I tried in vain to blame her various illness for it but she was just nasty and riven with petty jealousies. I've looked after plenty of really ill people who were lovely. My MIL is a crashing snob and a selfish woman - Mr Teetime and his brothers excuse her by saying well she is 101 (soon) they didn't like it when I said she had always been the same- I don't think she was like it with them or the other 2 DILs - just me the bad DIL who went to work and made her youngest son help around the house unlike the other 2 who sat on their rears watching daytime TV. ooo sorry went on a bit there.

specky illness is no excuse for saying cruel things or behaving badly

Have you had any dealings with anyone with dementia? Dementia is a mental illness. People living with dementia have no comprehension of what's cruel or bad behaviour.

specky illness is no excuse for saying cruel things or behaving badly

Have you had any dealings with anyone with dementia? Dementia is a mental illness. People living with dementia have no comprehension of what's cruel or bad behaviour.

Sorry !

It's good you can laugh, kitty. I think .

My grandmother was really not very nice, and was horrible to my mother (her DIL, not her daughter) - when I got older she told me all sorts of things she had said to her, and my mum just took it on the chin!

When she was pregnant with my brother, 3 mths after I was born, Grandma said to her 'that's disgusting!' (I think it was the idea that mum and dad had had S.E.X so soon after the birth).

My mother was horrified that DH and I had 5 children and used to tell people 'of course she has help with the children!' When I asked her why she would say such a thing she said that she didn't want people to think that I was kept barefoot and pregnant in a council house!!

However, she is more than ready to take credit for all five of them and all the grandchildren now!

Mum is just an slightly exaggerated form of her younger self! She has never approved of me/us as we don't conform to her opinion of how 'professional people' should behave!

I can't dislike her now, as I did for a long time, as she is so vulnerable but I could tell you loads of tales, as I'm sure lots of other daughters on GN could! I've recounted the engagement ring scandal previously!!

Anyway, this started out as a light hearted laugh, with me, at the person who is my mother!

I agree kitty you just have to laugh at the comments, or they would break your heart. As I have mentioned before my mother lives in Australia and some years ago DH and I went to visit, this just after I had finished chemo. My brother took a video of our arriving at the airport and amongst all the welcomes from the rest of the family my mother's voice can be heard loudly telling everyone that I had put on so much weight!

Dear all. I have got a lot of comfort from your posts that indicate that there are plenty of other mothers who were or are terrible. Never had a good relationship with my mother and when my DH and I went home to tell Ma and Da we would like to get married her comments were extremely horrid and painful. It was a miracle that my DH still married me some 46 years ago.

I am very envious of people who had or have a good relationship with their parents.

'Didn't know he was a cheapskate. I'd have given it back to him and told him to get me something in gold or not to bother!'

After my parents separated, my mother met a man who bought her a silver bracelet and she ended the relationship because it was silver and not gold! She also saw it as a cheap thing to buy her.

posts that indicate that there are plenty of other mothers who were or are terrible.

Yes, there are quite a few of us Nanato5 so you are in good company

I remember my mother throwing a tantrum because darling step-father had the temerity to return from the supermarket with own brand biscuits!

I could write several posts worth about my (now non existent) relationship with my mother, who I used to admire tremendously for being so brave (for the times and location) when I was born. Her story was even featured in a magazine about 15 years or so ago.

Unfortunately she decided that I was suddenly persona non grata, a situation that continued even when Jack died. If I was to post here what she said to me when I phoned her, in the vain hope that such an event might heal a rift, no one would believe it.

(((hugs))) phoenix