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Regrets/turn back time

(43 Posts)
Springlover Wed 05-Nov-14 08:11:46

Have any of you got real regrets/wish you could turn back time? We moved a few years ago to a different area after living somewhere for a long time and I so wish I hadn't agreed to the move. I hate the area we moved to/the house and just about everything here and have flashbacks to my old house/area on a daily basis. I'm on medication but it's not going to change the situation. We can't afford to move at the moment so that's not an option. What regrets do others have?

Liz46 Wed 05-Nov-14 08:20:04

First husband.

Lona Wed 05-Nov-14 08:29:27

Trusting my sil.

tiggypiro Wed 05-Nov-14 08:41:25

Getting married at 21.

Teetime Wed 05-Nov-14 08:43:31

Most things really from being a twit at 15 and liking boys more than school work, having a baby at 16- boyfriend departed baby adopted, married first husband as mother was keen to get rid of me - divorced by the age of 25 and THANK GOD rescued by the current Mr Teetime. I did try to salvage my life trained to be a nurse got fairly high up in the profession finally got my Masters degree at 50. Cant help looking back and seeing what a berk I was though.

I'm sorry your feeling low springlover I hope the meds work and that some positive things happen for you smile

ginny Wed 05-Nov-14 08:52:27

Springlover I am sorry that you are unhappy.

I have friends who are about to do the same thing. They have lived in our lovely small town for 40 years and have many friends and relatives nearby. They are moving to a town over 300 miles away, where they do not know anyone and have only visited the town when they went to look at the house they are buying. They are a lovely couple but not people who will join clubs and associations and they do nearly everything as a twosome. I am really worried about this although of course wish them well.

Have you any hobbies that you could perhaps join a club for like minded people ? Do you have opportunities to meet other people in the area ?

I do hope you can find some way to enjoy your life as it is now and wish I could suggest something to make it so.

ginny Wed 05-Nov-14 08:55:30

Sorry, to answer your post. Other than wishing I had trained to be a nurse when I was younger and that I had persevered with learning a musical instrument, I don't really have any regrets. I am very lucky to have a loving family and good friends and that counts for so much.

annsixty Wed 05-Nov-14 09:17:08

I also regret marrying at 21 although we are still together after 56 years but feel I missed so much. Also at times of extreme stress which are too frequent just now I regret having children which of course I feel very guilty about afterwards.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Nov-14 09:36:20

I think I regret staying in the same house for fortysix years. We built it ourselves and that made it hard to move.

I only think I regret it. Never been one for big decisions. hmm

ninathenana Wed 05-Nov-14 09:37:04

Not applying myself at school so that I could train to be a veterinary nurse. I did do the job but wasn't qualified.

I married at 21 too and we're still together 39 yrs later.
annsixty I admire your honesty regarding your children.
There have been occasions when I've felt the same. However, these are outweighed by good times in my case.

Mishap Wed 05-Nov-14 09:52:59

Not having the opportunity to learn the piano. I had a few lessons at about 6, but then had to choose between that and singing lessons - I chose the latter and it has been a huge joy in my life - but I still wish I had also been able to learn the piano.

I can play, having taught myself, but it is definitely not for public ears!

gillybob Wed 05-Nov-14 09:53:22

Blimey, where to start?

I regret (in no particular order).

Having a baby so young. (Don't regret having the baby, just the timing).

Marrying my sons father at 18.

Taking a rubbish job just to make ends meet (when I had gone through grammar school and achieved good O levels).

Putting my son into nursery full time after marriage broke up.

Not buying my first house.

Buying my second house.

Selling my static caravan (I had no choice and boy was it a life saver while I had it).

Allowing myself to be everyones doormat.

Could go on and on but would bore you all to tears !

So sorry to hear you are upset after your house move springlover . In no way a comparison but when we were forced to sell our last house and our static caravan, I had no regrets leaving the house which was simply bricks and mortar, but I cried for the caravan which was a lifeline to me and DH. I still lie awake at night picturing myself sitting on the verandah and it still brings tears to my eyes. Silly I know.

kittylester Wed 05-Nov-14 10:04:54

So sorry you are sad springlover flowers

I tend not to have regrets as I wouldn't be the me I am today if I hadn't done the things I did. There are a few things I would like to have done and didn't although they are not regrets as such!

I regret quite few things my children have done!

Mishap Wed 05-Nov-14 10:07:45

Springlover - sorry to hear how much you regret your move. We left a house that we all loved when OH became too ill to work at 42 and we had to downsize to pay of the mortgage. We lived in a house none of us liked for 7 years before scraping together the cash to move to our present home which we love. I thought we would never move on - but we did in the end.

I do understand how much environment matters for happiness and feel for you. Is it possible that you might be able to move again in time? Does your OH know how much you dislike where you are?

annsixty Wed 05-Nov-14 10:29:11

gilly you are having a bad time and I sympathise, and how I know so well how you feel about the caravan. W e had one in North Wales in a beautiful peaceful spot and like you it was my escape. But when DH started with
his probs it became hard work to motivate him to go,so we gave it up and lost a fair sum of money in the process. You are young enough to do it again when things get better for you and they will.

Nelliemoser Wed 05-Nov-14 10:40:24

springlover I hope you feel better soon.

The thought of moving house after 27 yrs is a minefield for me at present. I keep getting hints from DD about when are you going to move here, (here being 50 miles away.)

Part of me wants to be nearer family, but would I end up just as an unpaid babysitter? Part of me is scared of moving to a strange place and making new contacts which I am not good at.

Apart from that, I have all sorts of regrets which I find it difficult to define really. Lots of them were/are things I could not change any way.

Which sort of makes the idea of a house move one I have a choice in and might regret.
I told you I was scared. sad

tanith Wed 05-Nov-14 10:46:07

I regret encouraging my son to go abroad to work , he met his life partner, started a family and is now settled there for life... I miss him and will miss having a close relationship with his partner and children.. I don't begrudge him his new life he is very happy but I do sometimes wonder how different things could of been..

What a selfish cow I sound now I've written it down.. thlblush

sherish Wed 05-Nov-14 10:53:08

Getting married to my first husband when I was 20. Staying with him for 25 years. He was a nasty person and my children shouldn't have been witness to.

I left and have since remarried and have a perfect life now.

Mishap Wed 05-Nov-14 10:55:19

You don't sound selfish tanith - just human! I would most certainly feel the same in your shoes.

Moving house is such a huge step nellie that I am not at all surprised that you are scared. I always think that it is the one decision where only 100% certainty will do - too much hanging on it.

FarNorth Wed 05-Nov-14 11:09:28

I regret not going to university - my parents would have liked me to but no-one made any effort to point out any benefits of it, when I said I didn't see the point.
I also regret kind of letting life happen, a lot of the time, rather than being more pro-active.

I'm wondering about a house move atm, too, and can see benefits on both sides for me, so I don't think I'll have 100% certainty whatever I do.

glassortwo Wed 05-Nov-14 11:47:54

I regret letting my Parent apathy get in the way and not pushing to go to University and settling down instead... but settling down with my DH has never been a regret but one the best decisions I have ever made.

henetha Wed 05-Nov-14 12:30:34

I regret that apparently I made my partner so unhappy that he had no choice but to run off with a younger woman.

Charleygirl Wed 05-Nov-14 12:46:47

As Edith Piaf said, je ne regrette rien.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Nov-14 13:13:03

Oopoh, that's so nice Glass. smile

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Nov-14 13:13:19

don't know how that p got in there