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Certainties in life

(46 Posts)
Soutra Wed 26-Nov-14 10:53:28

What is it they say? The only certainties in life are taxes and death?
I can add another- DH will have ignored the existence of the dishwasher regardless of the fact that I emptied it when I was down making the tea earlier, and his breakfast things are loitering hopefully in the vague vicinity of the sink.angry angry
What are your certainties?

Nelliemoser Wed 26-Nov-14 11:35:40

My OH will be late. It doesn't matter what for but he will be late unless I threaten to go off on my own.
That does not always work. I have to show my resolve from time to time by driving off without him if he is still faffing about.

What part of "I need to get to this place at xhrs2 don't men understand.

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 11:41:34

The same as yours.

Almost every day I say - 'This is your house too, you know. You are allowed to fill the dishwasher and empty it'.

His school stuff will not make it as far as his study and the nice large desk I got him to do his marking on. Instead he will hog the best sofa in front of the tv and spread it all out.

He told me not to put his washing away a few years ago, he wanted to re-organise and do it himself so that he knew where everything was. Since then his washing has piled up on a very nice chest below a window in huge tottering piles until I can barely shut the blinds, and there it stays and grows until one day it all falls down. I'm past caring.

If he goes to bed earlier than me, he will be completely cocooned in the duvet, leaving nothing for me. No matter how gently I try to unravel him, he will wake and glare at me accusingly. Half an hour later the whole of his side will be flung on top of me because he is too hot.

ninathenana Wed 26-Nov-14 11:41:51

That DH will wander off and leave me talking to myself when we're out and about.

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 11:43:21

Mine does that to me at home. Then complains loudly if I do it to him.

ninathenana Wed 26-Nov-14 11:44:42

jane I think your OH and mine are related re the washing pile.

Brendawymms Wed 26-Nov-14 11:48:32

Mine sits and waits about everything, meals, mail, me walking the dog, me organising holidays, visas etc.
On our last holiday ALL he had to do was carry his camera from the car to check in. I had the tickets, passports etc. he left his camera in the car and blamed me.

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 11:52:16

I had one like that. I divorced him. I used to have to do all his packing for business trips and one day I forgot to pack his cufflinks. He was still raging when he got back two days later. If my BiL hadn't been there he would have hit me. Someone had lent him some, but he said he had felt humiliated at having to ask.

Eloethan Wed 26-Nov-14 12:47:09

Nelliemoser I can relate to that. On top of that, when he is finally ready he'll say, with a hint of impatience, "Are you ready then?"

Whatever I put in the dishwasher will be removed and placed differently. But if I leave anything on the top, I'm asked why I haven't put it in the dishwasher!

pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 12:50:58

Come on Grans, someone MUST have a good word for their DH's (I hope)

gillybob Wed 26-Nov-14 12:58:58

Actually I can think of a few rather good words to describe my DH pompa . Far too polite to write them here though. smile

gillybob Wed 26-Nov-14 12:59:46

Mine will certainly empty the kitchen bin and he certainly won't replace the bin bag!

merlotgran Wed 26-Nov-14 12:59:53

I will light the fire around 3.30 this afternoon. By 4pm it will be burning nicely with a basket full of logs beside the hearth ready for the rest of the evening.

DH will come in just as it's getting dark. He'll bring in more logs and dump them in the fireplace scattering bits all over the place. He'll then grab the poker and as soon as I hear that 'clanging' noise I know that my lovely fire will soon be covered in damp logs and on the point of going out. angry

Happens every b***dy day. angry

I will then wait for him to nod off in his chair and jigger it back into action again. When he wakes he'll tell me what a great fire he's made!!

gillybob Wed 26-Nov-14 13:01:03

He also says "slight problem" no matter what he is doing. Which really pisses me off annoys me.

pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 13:04:41

bump.

Please someone :-
Come on Grans, someone MUST have a good word for their DH's (I hope)

soontobe Wed 26-Nov-14 13:04:54

If mine is hungry, I barely talk to him for 1 hour, until he is back to normal and reasonable.

soontobe Wed 26-Nov-14 13:05:29

I love mine pompa. Love him to bits.
Will that do? grin

annodomini Wed 26-Nov-14 13:05:51

My BiL will certainly leave the toilet seat up but I know he is not unique in that!

gillybob Wed 26-Nov-14 13:07:01

Okay pompa you win. How about "tidy". That's a good word and mine is a bit of a tidy freak. (no I'm not turning a positive into a negative).

whitewave Wed 26-Nov-14 13:12:33

Oh gillybob that is exactly what my DH says, and it equally pisses me off.

For pompa he does his fair share of the housework - well at least he thinks he does!!

MiniMouse Wed 26-Nov-14 13:14:02

I am certain that I will know what my OH has just eaten - the evidence will be on the fridge door (either butter or jam smeared on the handle), or on the worktop (oil drips from a fried egg), or on the floor (more drips from said egg, blobs of jam), tea drips on worktop/teatowel, Superglue blobs on the worktop because he doesn't put anything down to protect it while he's repairing something . . . angry His excuse is always, "I didn't see it" !!

Pompa I'm sure you never do any of the above wink

pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 13:15:52

THANK YOU - I was loosing the will to live. Better go and clear away lunch things before Mrs. P gets back.

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 13:18:45

I love mine dearly too. Yesterday he owned up to having done something dreadful, that he had promised he would never ever do again without asking me first.

He gets bad SAD every year and starts applying for new jobs. Unfortunately they all seem to want him. He promises EVERY YEAR that he will not do it again, he says the depression makes him forget. hmm

So he went and got himself a job in Bermuda. I know some of you may be thinking I am mad not to want to go, but he would only end up hating it there too. Not enough good choirs singing sacred music etc. So I really let rip this time, and he thoroughly apologised and bought me chocolate flowers, booked a table in a restaurant and tickets for The Imitation Game. And told the lovely people in Bermuda that he would be staying put.

Every (insert rude word of choice) year we go through a similar scenario and this is the first year he has acknowledged it properly, both to me and - shock of all shocks - to his school.

baubles Wed 26-Nov-14 13:23:29

Since this thread is entitled 'certainties in life' I have to say that my DH is mine. Steady as a rock.

If course he does have one or two tiny annoying quirks grin

ninathenana Wed 26-Nov-14 13:50:19

pompa. DH is kind, considerate, generous and will help around the house, does all the gardening and is brilliant at woodwork.

Will that do grin

He is also bxxxxy frustrating at times. I'm sure I am too.