The Christmas pre-nupp

You are NOT.

Nonu I am a daft old bat.

We do "Secret Santa " in our family, every one picks a name out of the hat and that is the one you buy for, limit of £10, Works really well , saves money and also traipsing round the shops wondering what to get.

We obviously buy extra for G/C , but that is bye the bye.

DD has asked not to spend loads on them as they have SO much stuff already, give them money and it can be put towards a climbing frame for Summer
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They also have birthdays in January so it is a double bubble.

Don"t you be worrying KATE, I wouldn't buy anything JUST TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONES"ES if you see what I mean. This is probably a fad with her which will pass in the fullness of time , just keep being a good, nice Mum .
((HUG))

My DD has usually requested money for Christmas so I buy her a few little things to open on the day as well. The last few years however she has acquired some friends with expensive tastes and seems to be heading in that direction herself. I feel pressured to buy her more expensive stuff in case my gifts don't 'measure up'. Not pressure from her in any way, it's just that I feel mine are a bit inadequate nowadays. Silly I know.

I have been ungrateful for a present though. In the early days of our marriage DH bought me some slippers - I put them in the bin! He hasn't done it again.

Well I see her point jing but I wouldn't have received it without thanking you for the thought. My family know giving me anything for the home is likely to bring terrible retribution on their heads!!

My elder daughter is very good at not gushing, should the need arise. A few Christmases back, amongst her small extra presents I bought her a nicely decorated pudding basin. Very pretty. I would have been pleased with it. She unwrapped it, held it up with a puzzled look on her face, and asked "what am I supposed to do with that?!" And laughed when I said about boiled puddings and storing left-over bits and pieces!

I have never bought her anything kitcheny again. Ungrateful little so and so!

I'm not a gusher either, gaga, and so I feel uncomfortable for other people opening presents because they might not like to be watched, just like me. Too big a pile of expectation to heap onto someone, I feel. Not always, not when it's people I hardly know, such as at a retirement do or something, but with people you are close to, I feel it is a kind of forcing. I don't like to feel it and I don't like to feel I'm putting it onto others.

Well, I love Christmas and everything that goes with it. Even if I was on my own it would be a blissful and happy day.

My father and grandfather were both in the army so nobody ever knew from one Christmas to the next where in the world (quite literally) the next Christmas would be spent so my Grandfather introduced, and my father continued, a set pattern for Christmas day that never varied no matter where or in what climate Christmas was celebrated. It was the one certainty in our otherwise peripatetic lives.

Even when DS and I spent 2 Christmases with our paternal grandparents when we were at boarding school and our parents were in the Far East, Christmas day followed exactly the same pattern as our Christmas at home with our parents, it was so consoling when we could not be with them.

We still follow most of the old customs and I will delight in the gift giving and stocking filling on Christmas Day

Should have put an s on the DGD they are twins!

I don't necessarily subscribe to spending enormous amounts of money but do like family to have several presents each. I buy small presents for 4 friends, spend more on my closest friend who is more like a sister to me and buy shared present for close friends who are a couple. Next is family I buy for 2 daughters and their partners and we all make a wish list which is too long to have everything on it. We all then buy presents off it, they vary in cost to hardly anything like a bar of chocolate to more expensive treats. Everyone then spends what they can afford and everyone's presents are things they love. I am more indulgent with 5 year old DGD but am curbed by their mother!! Their Aunty my younger daughter is as bad as me. My daughters also still have a stocking off me which they love and I buy this as I see things way before Christmas. I go out for a meal with a large group of long term friends and we do a secret Santa present for £5 and a £10 secret Santa for work. We give to charity and don't give either presents or cards for my other work (I have 2 part time jobs ) . So it all varies I know exactly what I am doing, I do a mixture of shops and on line shopping and I love it.

Phoenix, Since I left work I am a Billy-no-Mates too! I have a large box of same-size blank cards which I use each year to supplement my display. I blu-tac them in the shape of Christmas trees on the doors, and I like symetry! Of course there will always be left over odd shaped or extra large ones, but they will stand on the dresser.

Oh I do Bags but I don't like opening them myself. In fact I don't like getting presents as I always feel obliged to gush and I am not a gusher !

My mum calls your NUPP "a non-aggression treaty".

I've never understood this thing about "the pleasure of watching people open presents". I don't like watching people opening presents.

The grown ups do a secret Santa ( all names in a hat and draw a name out ) a certain amount of money to be spent is decided and we all buy " our secret " a gift. No stress no hassle. We don't include the Grandchildren in this ...... It is, after all, a magical time for them. Merry Christmas to all!

Well I love Christmas and love giving my family presents( its not a large family) that I know they will like. I set a budget limit and keep to it and we have a pre Xmas swap with those we wont see over the holiday but on Xmas day we don't have presents until after breakfast when we have washed and dressed in something nice and equipped with a glass of bubbly (any children present have been excused this and able to open their gifts the minute their eyes open). I don't think we are excessive and we certainly don't use credit or spend money we haven't got.

I like the idea of cards in a big dish, roses!

Now that it costs £1 to send two cards, I'm intending to send e-cards to the people whose email addresses I have. You can't put these up on the mantelpiece, but I hope my friends will understand. The postage I'm saving will go to charity, or rather, it has already gone to charity.

That's the sort of thing Hyacinth would do phoenix !
We also do just a tree and a lighted garland across the mantel, with maybe some holly and the Christmas cards [only ones from close family put up, the rest in a big dish to look at now and then.]We only buy gifts these days for the immediate family, which are our children and grandchildren, just a card to everyone else.This ensures that shopping isn't too expensive or a nightmare.

The postage costs on cards are far too high, IMO. Perhaps Royal Mail might think of actually making stamps cheaper at Christmas?

The only Christmas decorations we have are the tree and a garland over the mantlepiece. Plus when we move the very lifelike 4.5ft fake ficus doo dah to the hall (to make room for the tree) and put plain lights on it and across the mirror.

I rely on the cards to provide the rest, although year by year they seem to get fewer

I'm tempted to put up some of last years to fill the gaps, just so that people don't think we are "Billy no mates" !!

I have gradually whittled it down to just the son and his wife and grandchildren. What a relief! I still enjoy going "Christmas Shopping" as we have a nice day out with coffee and cake, window shopping then lunch - the only things I buy are little odds and ends for us. When I have broached the subject of stopping gifts (not easy to suggest as it seems a bit mean) I have always been met with enthusiastic agreement. I think most people are fed up with it.
A couple of years ago I did the same with card giving - I wrote a thoughtful email to all those online and said I was giving the saved money to charity. Again everyone was quite happy to do the same - I have never lost a friend over this. I still exchange cards with close family but save a lot on postage to far flung acquaintances.

We do not give or receive gifts at Christmas except for the GC and I buy a gift for my friend and she buys for me, we exchange gifts at a restaurant where we have a special meal.

That is such a good idea, WhenIwasyourage!