The Christmas pre-nupp

For the last couple of years DH and I have gone out to the local bigger town with £20 each and gone round the charity shops (separately) for presents for each other. We end up with books we will read, DVDs we will watch, jigsaws we will do and CDs we will listen to. If something is not as good as we thought, it can go back to the charity shops in the New Year. The £20 is a strict limit. It works well and is much more fun than trying to think of something new, now that we are lucky enough to have reached the stage when we have everything we need.

I enjoy the giving and receiving of gifts for adults and children. However in our family, for several generations now, people are expected to produce a 'wish list' about six weeks before Christmas, listing items from trivial (£1.00) to more expensive that they would like.

They is no guarantee that they will get anything from the list because sometimes one thinks of things you know people will enjoy, but it hasn't occurred to them to ask for (the Kindle I gave DH last year is an example, he has used everyday since he got it.) Gift giving is limited to immediate family, which is small, and god children, who generally get cash. We are not into competitive giving and it is only on rare occasions (like DH's Kindle) that more than about £25 is spent on any individual item.

Shopping to a list is so less stressful and now it can all be done online it is stress free (except when Amazon send the wrong item, but that is another thread.).

Some years ago, when I was still working, I got fed up with traipsing around the shops looking for presents in a flurry of indecision. We decided to stop giving Christmas presents and asked our children and mum and dad to do likewise. (In actual fact, both our children's birthdays are around Christmas, so we just spent more on them then). Everybody was relieved and it made the build up to Christmas much less stressful.

My son's partner's family has a much more traditional approach to Christmas and we therefore introduced a "Secret Santa" system, mainly for her benefit. So now each person buys - and receives - just one present. Of course, this doesn't apply to children who receive presents as normal.

I prefer to buy things that I know someone needs or would like at random times in the year.

I saw it suggested somewhere that it is our "patriotic duty" to spend at Christmas time. If our economy depends on everybody rushing out and buying a lot of stuff that others don't want or need and which may put the purchaser into debt, then there is something very wrong with the way the economic system works.

To DH's two brothers and their grown up off spring we send something they can all share, chocolate hampers, wine etc. usually the company include delivery just before Christmas. The cost, when divided by the members of each family can be quite economical. X

We have a rule that only the children in the family receive gifts. It works well, and saves the agonizing over what to buy for those who have all they need.

After his parents died we came to a mutual agreement with DH's side of the family not to buy for each other as it had deteriorated into swopping bottles of wine for the blokes and scarves for the girls. It's easy on my side as there's just me and now I'm an ophan.

This year we're cutting down more and going over to a Secret Santa between us and the DC. That way, is each person gets a reasonable present (limit £50) and it'll save money. Only the DGC will get presents from all of us. But even there we only give a token present for each GC and money to their parents towards riding and swimming lessons.

(I expect though that Father Christmas will still leave something for us two!)

My older brother and his wife have always had their Christmas Days back to front with Boxing Day. Nothing must interrupt the present unwrapping - which goes on for ever - so they have a simple buffet and the main Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day.

They have carried on the tradition even though two of their grandsons are now adults. It makes me laugh that their younger son and his wife, who have a six year old, don't turn up until Boxing Day because they don't want their little boy to think it's all a 'gift orgy.'

I agree wholeheartedly! It's one thing buying presents for the GC, but then I remember all the adults and usually fall back on gift vouchers (boring!) and some sort of panic-buy from Boots and/or jokey present for the men which they probably find cringeworthy...

See, it's sneaked up on me again this year!

I think that each family is different. With different rules and expectations and unwritten angst in there somewhere as well.
I keep out of how other families run things.

My sister and I have agreed no more than £10 each - works quite well.

I totally agree phoenix, it really spoils Christmas I think. There's so much angst about the 'shopping' when giving is supposed to be a pleasure.
Now it's more about the cost.